Every year several languages die out. Some people think that this is not important because life will be easier if there are fewer languages in the world. To what extent do you agree or disagree with this opinion?
Sample Response
Each year, several languages become extinct, and it is argued by some that this is inconsequential, as fewer languages would simplify global interactions. I strongly concur with this viewpoint because I believe that reducing the number of languages worldwide can significantly enhance international communication and promote greater unity among diverse populations.
To commence with, fewer languages facilitate improved global communication, making interactions smoother and more effective among people. In today's increasingly interconnected world, clear communication across borders is essential for trade, diplomacy, cultural exchange and global peace. Having fewer languages would definitely mitigate misunderstandings, saving valuable time and resources. For example, multinational corporations predominantly utilise English to ensure coherent internal and external communication, enhancing operational efficiency. Therefore, fewer languages can streamline international interactions, thus enabling more seamless global cooperation.
Secondly, diminishing linguistic diversity can foster greater cultural integration and societal cohesion. Language differences frequently create cultural barriers that hinder mutual understanding and cooperation among nations. It happens more frequently than we realise. By narrowing these linguistic gaps, societies can cultivate stronger bonds and a heightened sense of unity. For instance, the widespread adoption of Spanish throughout Latin America has significantly bolstered regional integration, facilitating economic collaboration and cross-cultural exchanges. Consequently, fewer languages can serve as a bridge between communities, strengthening cultural connections and mutual understanding.
In conclusion, although some people may lament the loss of linguistic diversity, I firmly believe that having fewer languages globally would substantially enhance international communication and encourage greater cultural unity. Simplifying linguistic variety can help societies overcome barriers, creating a more connected and harmonious world.
IELTS Writing Correction
- 1. Use natural transition Original: commence Suggested revision: begin Why it matters: 'To begin with' is the more natural signpost in this context.
- 2. Refine collocation Original: improved Suggested revision: better Why it matters: 'Better communication' is a more natural collocation than 'improved communication' after 'facilitate'.
- 3. Remove vague wording Original: smoother and more effective among people Suggested revision: smoother and more effective Why it matters: 'Among people' is too general to add useful meaning after 'global communication'.
- 4. Avoid overstatement Original: definitely mitigate misunderstandings Suggested revision: reduce misunderstandings Why it matters: The revision makes the causal claim more measured and direct.
- 5. Tighten the link Original: thus enabling more seamless global cooperation Suggested revision: thereby enabling seamless global cooperation Why it matters: 'Thereby' shows the result clearly, while removing the unnecessary degree word.
- 6. Improve word order Original: globally Suggested revision: worldwide Why it matters: 'Worldwide' fits more naturally after the noun phrase.
- 7. Use precise collocation Original: Simplifying linguistic variety Suggested revision: Reducing linguistic diversity Why it matters: 'Reducing linguistic diversity' is the established phrasing for a decline in the number of languages.
- 8. Sentence rewrite Original: It happens more frequently than we realise. Suggested revision: These cultural barriers arise more frequently than we realise. Why it matters: Naming the referent removes the vague pronoun and links the sentence directly to the preceding claim.
- 9. Reduce repeated claims Suggested revision: Trim the repeated references to smoother interaction and global cooperation so the corporate example carries the paragraph's progression. Why it matters: Several sentences restate the same communication benefit without advancing the sequence.
- 10. Link example to result Suggested revision: Make the final consequence sentence synthesize the Spanish example instead of repeating the paragraph's earlier claims about integration and understanding. Why it matters: A more direct example-to-consequence link would make the paragraph progress more efficiently.
Suggested Rewrites
- commence begin
- improved better
- smoother and more effective among people smoother and more effective
- definitely mitigate misunderstandings reduce misunderstandings
- thus enabling more seamless global cooperation thereby enabling seamless global cooperation
- globally worldwide
Why this response received Band 8.0
The response is strongest in its clear position, disciplined paragraphing, and fluent development of communication and social-cohesion benefits. Its main limitation is conceptual: the examples show advantages of shared languages but do not fully establish that minority languages must disappear, and the cultural cost of extinction receives little analysis. The highest-priority improvement is to distinguish adopting common languages from losing existing ones and justify that trade-off directly.
IELTS Writing Criteria Scores
Task Response
The essay maintains a clear position and develops two relevant benefits with examples, though it only briefly considers what is lost when languages disappear.
Address whether easier communication requires language extinction and weigh that benefit against the loss of cultural knowledge and identity.
Coherence and Cohesion
Ideas progress logically through two clearly focused reasons, with smooth cohesive links and a conclusion that consistently reflects the position.
Integrate the brief concession about linguistic diversity into the body so the progression includes an explicit evaluative step before the conclusion.
Lexical Resource
A wide and precise academic vocabulary is used flexibly for international communication, integration, cohesion, and cooperation.
Maintain this range while reducing minor repetition of words such as “global,” “communication,” and “unity.”
Grammatical Range and Accuracy
A wide range of complex structures is used accurately and naturally, with virtually all sentences free from error.
Continue proofreading for rare stylistic refinements, particularly where a concise clause could replace a slightly repetitive sentence.
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IELTS Writing Task 2
Every year several languages die out. Some people think that this is not important because life will be easier if there are fewer languages in the world. To what extent do you agree or disagree with this opinion?
Your response
Write the task yourself, then compare your choices with the annotated response.