Many people believe that education standards have declined in recent times, particularly in the areas of literacy and numeracy. Discuss the causes of this problem and offer some possible solutions to it.
Sample Response
It is widely acknowledged that standards in reading and math have declined in numerous countries for the past few decades. The purpose of this essay is to explore the possible causes and to formulate suitable approaches to tackle this critical situation. Literacy is the ability to speak, write, read and listen in a way that allows people to communicate effectively and to make sense of the world around us; while numeracy is being capable of thinking logically, reasonably and able to use mathematics to meet the demands of everyday life. It is somewhat interesting that academic standards began to diminish around the time of the technology boom, with increasingly more automatized machines and gadgets to make life "easier". Perhaps it got a little bit too easy. Instant messaging allows quick communication and is relatively easy to use; however, it also prompted the usage of chatting acronyms. On efficacious solution to this problem is encouraging students to read a variety of text from various sources-newspapers, magazines, novels, recipes etc..., instead of only from the internet, this will boost their spelling and reading abilities. Another factor is simply that the education system has been modified for the purpose of generating more "rounded" students; therefore, music, arts, and gym are equally essential as reading and Math. Despite the good intentions, in order to make room for other subjects, literacy and mathematics hours and standards have been reduced. An effective approach is to adapt school curricula from other countries that have higher literacy and numeracy levels into our local study programs. To conclude, literacy and numeracy skills are intertwined with our daily lives, therefore it is of the utmost importance to maintain a certain level of standards.
IELTS Writing Correction
- 1. Use task terms Original: reading and math Suggested revision: literacy and numeracy Why it matters: The task uses literacy and numeracy, which are more precise than reading and math.
- 2. Time phrase Original: for the past few decades Suggested revision: over the past few decades Why it matters: Use 'over' with a period leading up to the present.
- 3. More direct thesis Original: The purpose of this essay is to explore Suggested revision: This essay explores Why it matters: This is more concise and less formulaic.
- 4. Natural wording Original: to formulate suitable approaches Suggested revision: to propose practical solutions Why it matters: 'Propose practical solutions' is clearer for this task.
- 5. Semicolon misuse Original: around us; while Suggested revision: around us, while Why it matters: The second part is not an independent clause, so a semicolon is not suitable.
- 6. Definition form Original: is being capable of Suggested revision: is the ability to Why it matters: The phrase 'being capable of' is awkward in this definition.
- 7. Parallel structure Original: reasonably and able to use Suggested revision: reasonably and use Why it matters: The verbs should be parallel after 'capable of' or after a revised definition.
- 8. Wrong word choice Original: automatized machines Suggested revision: automated machines Why it matters: 'Automated' is the standard adjective here.
- 9. Support the claim Original: Perhaps it got a little bit too easy. Suggested revision: This may have reduced the need to practise basic spelling and calculation skills. Why it matters: The original is informal and needs a clearer link to the task.
- 10. Precise phrase Original: chatting acronyms Suggested revision: text-message abbreviations Why it matters: This describes the language problem more naturally.
- 11. Spelling and tone Original: On efficacious solution Suggested revision: One effective solution Why it matters: 'On' is a spelling error here, and 'effective' is more natural than 'efficacious'.
- 12. Plural noun Original: a variety of text Suggested revision: a variety of texts Why it matters: Use the plural noun when referring to several reading materials.
Suggested Rewrites
- reading and math literacy and numeracy
- for the past few decades over the past few decades
- The purpose of this essay is to explore This essay explores
- to formulate suitable approaches to propose practical solutions
- around us; while around us, while
- is being capable of is the ability to
IELTS Writing Criteria Scores
Detailed feedback by IELTS writing criterion after the annotated essay.
Task Response
The essay addresses causes and solutions and stays relevant to literacy and numeracy. Development is adequate, but the definition-heavy opening and some unsupported claims reduce depth.
Spend less space defining terms and more space explaining how each cause directly lowers literacy or numeracy, then match each cause with a practical solution.
Coherence and Cohesion
There is a generally logical sequence from causes to solutions, but the response is written as one long paragraph and some links are mechanical or overloaded.
Use separate paragraphs for introduction, technology cause and reading solution, curriculum cause and policy solution, and conclusion.
Lexical Resource
Vocabulary is topic-related and sometimes flexible, but several word choices are awkward or inaccurate, such as 'automatized', 'chatting acronyms', and 'efficacious'.
Use natural education vocabulary such as 'automated tools', 'text-message abbreviations', 'curriculum time', and 'core skills'.
Grammatical Range and Accuracy
Meaning is mostly clear, but long sentences contain punctuation, agreement, article, and word-form errors. These errors are noticeable but usually not blocking.
Break long sentences into controlled clauses and check fixed patterns such as 'capable of', 'the use of', and 'a variety of texts'.