Some people think that children should begin their formal education at a very early age and should spend most of their time on school studies. Others believe that young children should spend most of their time playing. Compare these two views. Which view do you agree with? Why?
Sample Response
People learn through their entire lives. Curiosity was always the basic characteristic of a human being. We always want to break limits and learn more. At this point, some people think that children should begin their formal education at a very early age and spend most of their time on school studies. This will help them to succeed in the future. However, for several reasons, which I will explain bellow, I think that children should not study at a very early age. Of course, children who begin to study at a very early age have more chances to succeed in the future. They gain more knowledge and experience which are priceless and valuable. In addition, studying more now they will give them the opportunity to perfect their knowledge in the future and become better professionals. However, I think that every child must have his or her childhood. Children should learn through playing and communication with their friends and parents. I think that such basic qualities as kindness, self-confidence and just a good sense of humour can not be gained from studying. Children should more time spend with their family, playing and learning with their parents. Imagine that a child instead of playing with his friends does his homework and feel exhausted and tired. Another important aspect of this is that children at their early ages need more exercise because at this age the development of their body is an essential aspect. Children, first of all, must be healthy. To sum up, I think that children should have their careless childhood with no responsibilities. Moreover, I am sure that playing helps them develop not only their bones and muscles but their ability to make decisions, analyse things, make conclusions, which is very good for their future.
IELTS Writing Correction
- 1. Use natural time phrase Original: through their entire lives Suggested revision: throughout their lives Why it matters: The single preposition expresses continuous learning across a lifetime more naturally.
- 2. Use present perfect Original: Curiosity was always Suggested revision: Curiosity has always been Why it matters: The present perfect describes a characteristic that began in the past and remains true.
- 3. Use indefinite article Original: the Suggested revision: a Why it matters: Curiosity is presented as one general human characteristic rather than the only one.
- 4. Fix verb collocation Original: break limits Suggested revision: push boundaries Why it matters: "Push boundaries" is the natural collocation for extending what people know or can do.
- 5. Clarify debate transition Original: At this point Suggested revision: In this debate Why it matters: The replacement links the general opening directly to the contrasting educational views.
- 6. Fix relative clause Original: reasons, which Suggested revision: reasons that Why it matters: A defining relative clause identifying the reasons should use "that" without a preceding comma.
- 7. Correct spelling Original: bellow Suggested revision: below Why it matters: "Below" means later in the text, while "bellow" means to shout loudly.
- 8. Use natural collocation Original: more chances to succeed Suggested revision: a greater chance of succeeding Why it matters: The singular phrase is more natural when referring generally to the likelihood of success.
- 9. Remove redundant adjectives Original: which are priceless and valuable Suggested revision: which are highly valuable Why it matters: "Priceless" and "valuable" overlap in meaning, so one clear evaluation is sufficient.
- 10. Use parallel nouns Original: playing Suggested revision: play Why it matters: Parallel noun forms make the two learning methods grammatically consistent.
- 11. Remove unnecessary qualifier Original: and just a good sense of humour Suggested revision: and a good sense of humour Why it matters: "Just" weakens the final item without adding useful meaning.
- 12. Use standard spelling Original: can not Suggested revision: cannot Why it matters: The negative modal is conventionally written as one word.
Suggested Rewrites
- through their entire lives throughout their lives
- Curiosity was always Curiosity has always been
- the a
- break limits push boundaries
- At this point In this debate
- reasons, which reasons that
Why this response received Band 6.5
The essay compares both approaches and maintains a clear preference for play, supported by social, emotional, and physical-development reasons. Its main limitation is that the entire discussion is compressed into one paragraph and recurring language errors make several sentences awkward. The highest-priority improvement is to balance the views across separate paragraphs and express each reason through a clear claim, explanation, and example.
IELTS Writing Criteria Scores
Detailed feedback by IELTS writing criterion after the annotated essay.
Task Response
Both views are addressed and the preference for play is clear and supported, although the case for early study is comparatively brief.
Develop the early-education view with one specific benefit before explaining more fully why play remains preferable.
Coherence and Cohesion
The argument progresses logically from early study to play and a conclusion, but the absence of paragraph divisions weakens organisation.
Use separate paragraphs for the introduction, each view, and the final judgement.
Lexical Resource
Vocabulary is adequate for education and development, but several choices and combinations are inaccurate or repetitive.
Use precise phrases such as lifelong learning, improve their knowledge, carefree childhood, and draw conclusions.
Grammatical Range and Accuracy
A range of sentence forms is attempted, but recurring word-order, agreement, tense, and clause errors reduce accuracy.
Check subject-verb agreement and standard word order, especially in sentences about spending time and gaining opportunities.
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IELTS Writing Task 2
Some people think that children should begin their formal education at a very early age and should spend most of their time on school studies. Others believe that young children should spend most of their time playing. Compare these two views. Which view do you agree with? Why?
Your response
Write the task yourself, then compare your choices with the annotated response.