Some people think that children should begin their formal education at a very early age and should spend most of their time on school studies. Others believe that young children should spend most of their time playing. Compare these two views. Which view do you agree with? Why?
Sample Response
People learn throughout their livesthrough their entire lives. Curiosity has always beenCuriosity was always athe basic characteristic of a human being. We always want to push boundariesbreak limits and learn more. In this debateAt this point, some people think that children should begin their formal education at a very early age and spend most of their time on school studies. This will help them to succeed in the future. However, for several reasons thatreasons, which I will explain belowbellow, I think that children should not study at a very early age. Of course, children who begin to study at a very early age have a greater chance of succeedingmore chances to succeed in the future. They gain more knowledge and experience which are highly valuablewhich are priceless and valuable. In addition, studying more now they will give them the opportunity to perfect their knowledge in the future and become better professionals. However, I think that every child must have his or her childhood. Children should learn through playplaying and communication with their friends and parents. I think that such basic qualities as kindness, self-confidence and a good sense of humourand just a good sense of humour can not be developed through study alonebe gained from studying. Children should more time spend with their family, playing and learning with their parents. Imagine that a child who, instead of playing with friends,a child instead of playing with his friends does his homework and feels exhaustedfeel exhausted and tired. Another important aspect of this is that children at an early ageat their early ages need more exercise because at this age their physical developmentthe development of their body is an essential aspect. Children, first of all, must be healthy. To sum up, I think that children should have their carefreecareless childhood with no responsibilities. Moreover, I am sure that playing helps them develop not only their bones and muscles but their ability to make decisions, analyse things, make conclusions, which is very good for their future.
Why this response received Band 6.5
The essay compares both approaches and maintains a clear preference for play, supported by social, emotional, and physical-development reasons. Its main limitation is that the entire discussion is compressed into one paragraph and recurring language errors make several sentences awkward. The highest-priority improvement is to balance the views across separate paragraphs and express each reason through a clear claim, explanation, and example.
IELTS Writing Criteria Scores
Task Response
Both views are addressed and the preference for play is clear and supported, although the case for early study is comparatively brief.
Develop the early-education view with one specific benefit before explaining more fully why play remains preferable.
Coherence and Cohesion
The argument progresses logically from early study to play and a conclusion, but the absence of paragraph divisions weakens organisation.
Use separate paragraphs for the introduction, each view, and the final judgement.
Lexical Resource
Vocabulary is adequate for education and development, but several choices and combinations are inaccurate or repetitive.
Use precise phrases such as lifelong learning, improve their knowledge, carefree childhood, and draw conclusions.
Grammatical Range and Accuracy
A range of sentence forms is attempted, but recurring word-order, agreement, tense, and clause errors reduce accuracy.
Check subject-verb agreement and standard word order, especially in sentences about spending time and gaining opportunities.
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IELTS Writing Task 2
Some people think that children should begin their formal education at a very early age and should spend most of their time on school studies. Others believe that young children should spend most of their time playing. Compare these two views. Which view do you agree with? Why?
Your response
Write the task yourself, then compare your choices with the annotated response.