Some people think that children should begin their formal education at a very early age and should spend most of their time on school studies. Others believe that young children should spend most of their time playing. Compare these two views. Which view do you agree with? Why?
Sample Response
People learn through their entire lives. Curiosity was always the basic characteristic of a human being. We always want to break limits and learn more. At this point some people think that children should begin their formal education at a very early age and spend most of their time on school studies. This will help them to succeed in the future. However, for several reasons, which I will explain bellow, I think that children should not study at a very early age.
Of cause, children who begin to study at a very early age have more chances to succeed in the future. They gain more knowledge and experience which are priceless and valuable. In addition, studying more now they will give them the opportunity to perfect their knowledge in the future and become better professionals.
However, I think that every child must have his or her childhood. Children should learn through playing and communication with their friends and parents. I think that such basic qualities as kindness, self-confidence and just a good sense of humor can not be gained from studying. Children should more time spend with their family, playing and learning with their parents. Imagine that a child instead of playing with his friends does his homework and feel exhausted and tired. Another important aspect of this is that children at their early ages need more exercise because at this age the development of their body is a very essential aspect. Children first of all must be healthy.
To sum up, I think that children should have their careless childhood with no responsibilities. Moreover, I am sure that playing helps them develop not only their bones and muscles but their ability to make decisions, analyze things, make conclusions, which is very good for their future.
IELTS Writing Correction
- 1. Use natural phrasing Original: through their entire lives Suggested revision: throughout their lives Why it matters: Throughout is the more natural preposition for something continuing across a lifetime.
- 2. Correct the tense Original: Curiosity was always Suggested revision: Curiosity has always been Why it matters: The present perfect is needed for a characteristic continuing from the past to the present.
- 3. Generalise accurately Original: the basic characteristic of a human being Suggested revision: a basic characteristic of human beings Why it matters: Use an indefinite article and a plural noun when making this general claim.
- 4. Use natural collocation Original: break limits Suggested revision: push boundaries Why it matters: Push boundaries is the natural collocation for extending what people know or can do.
- 5. Clarify the transition Original: At this point Suggested revision: In this debate Why it matters: This transition links the general opening more clearly to the opposing views.
- 6. Correct the spelling Original: bellow Suggested revision: below Why it matters: Below is the correct spelling for the adverb used here.
- 7. Correct the phrase Original: cause Suggested revision: course Why it matters: Of course is the correct fixed expression.
- 8. Use the correct pattern Original: have more chances to succeed Suggested revision: have a greater chance of succeeding Why it matters: A greater chance of succeeding is the more natural grammatical pattern.
- 9. Remove redundancy Original: priceless and valuable Suggested revision: valuable Why it matters: Priceless and valuable repeat the same idea, so one precise adjective is sufficient.
- 10. Use parallel nouns Original: playing Suggested revision: play Why it matters: Play and communication form a concise parallel pair of nouns.
- 11. Correct word order Original: Children should more time spend Suggested revision: Children should spend more time Why it matters: The object phrase must follow the verb spend.
- 12. Use natural expression Original: at their early ages Suggested revision: at an early age Why it matters: At an early age is the standard expression for this stage of childhood.
Suggested Rewrites
- through their entire lives throughout their lives
- Curiosity was always Curiosity has always been
- the basic characteristic of a human being a basic characteristic of human beings
- break limits push boundaries
- At this point In this debate
- bellow below
Why this response received Band 6.0
The response maintains a clear preference for play and develops that view with relevant points about social, physical, and decision-making development. Its main limitation is the brief, generalized treatment of early formal education, while recurring awkward phrasing and grammar errors reduce precision. The highest-priority improvement is to explain both views more evenly with specific cause-and-effect support, then proofread sentence structure and word choice.
IELTS Writing Criteria Scores
Task Response
The response addresses both views and maintains a clear position, but the case for early formal education is only briefly developed.
Develop the first view with a specific reason and example before comparing it directly with the benefits of play.
Coherence and Cohesion
The four-paragraph structure gives the argument clear overall progression, although some linking is repetitive or imprecise.
Use more precise referencing and logical links within paragraphs instead of relying mainly on broad contrast markers.
Lexical Resource
The vocabulary is adequate for the topic and sometimes varied, but spelling errors and inaccurate collocations recur.
Replace unnatural phrases with standard collocations and proofread carefully for spelling before submission.
Grammatical Range and Accuracy
The response uses both simple and complex forms, but recurrent word-order and agreement errors weaken control.
Check subject-verb agreement and standard English word order, especially in longer sentences.
Write this task while it is fresh
Try the same task now. It helps you remember the feedback and write better next time.
IELTS Writing Task 2
Some people think that children should begin their formal education at a very early age and should spend most of their time on school studies. Others believe that young children should spend most of their time playing. Compare these two views. Which view do you agree with? Why?
Your response
Write the task yourself, then compare your choices with the annotated response.