The economic development plays a major role in people’s lives. Economic growth in both developed and developing countries make the country richer, but it is believed that people in developing countries are happier that those in developed ones. Do you agree or disagree?
Sample Response
Economic advancement is one of the chief goals of every nation and its government across the globe. The economic state of a country greatly determines the standard of living of that country’s population. That being said, estimates like the national income of a nation are reliable indicators of the general well-being of a nation and where it stands according to global rankings. It is widely believed that economic growth has a greater impact in developing nations than developed ones. I strongly agree with this notion and I will support my view in the following essay.
First and foremost, we must acknowledge the major differences between a third-world and a first-world nation to understand the significance of economic progress in both. It is a known fact that first-world nations have passed all the stages of industrialization and are capitalist in nature, whereas third-world countries are the ones that are yet to reach this stage and cannot be deemed as either capitalist or socialist. With that in mind, there is little room for further improvement in developed nations as they have already gone through all major stages of economic development as opposed to economically developing nations where there is still much potential for progress.
Furthermore, as a majority of the population of an underdeveloped country is engaged in the primary and secondary sectors of the economy, the creation of more employment opportunities in the tertiary sector is a blessing for these countries. Since jobs in the tertiary sector are less physically demanding and provide better remuneration, they are demanded more by the people. Thus, when economic growth facilitates the operation of multinational corporations in developing countries leading to more employment in the tertiary sector, the general standard of living is bound to improve enabling a happier outlook on life among the people.
However, such advancements are rare and a majority of underdeveloped nations suffer from incompetent administration and corrupted officials. Nevertheless, there are avenues for betterment for these nations as the general awareness of the public regarding their rights has enhanced over the past few years.
Finally, I would like to conclude by saying that progress has a greater impact where it is needed the most. Thereby, the efforts of the government and the people in improving the country economically are more significant in third-world nations.
IELTS Writing Correction
- 1. Use precise measure term Original: estimates like Suggested revision: measures such as Why it matters: National income is an economic measure rather than an estimate in this context.
- 2. Remove repetition Original: the national income of a nation Suggested revision: national income Why it matters: National already identifies the country-level scope, so of a nation is redundant.
- 3. Tighten ranking phrase Original: where it stands according to global rankings Suggested revision: its position in global rankings Why it matters: The revision expresses the same idea more concisely and naturally.
- 4. Complete comparison structure Original: greater impact in developing nations than developed ones Suggested revision: greater impact on developing nations than on developed ones Why it matters: Impact takes on, and repeating the preposition makes the comparison grammatically parallel.
- 5. Improve stage collocation Original: passed Suggested revision: completed Why it matters: Complete is the more natural verb for stages of a process.
- 6. Use precise economic phrase Original: are capitalist in nature Suggested revision: have capitalist economies Why it matters: The revision states the economic characteristic directly and more precisely.
- 7. Remove unnecessary wording Original: the ones that are yet to reach this stage Suggested revision: yet to reach this stage Why it matters: The relative construction is unnecessary after countries and makes the sentence cumbersome.
- 8. Correct demand collocation Original: they are demanded more by the people Suggested revision: they are in greater demand Why it matters: Jobs are in demand rather than demanded by people in this sense.
- 9. Separate result phrase Original: developing countries leading Suggested revision: developing countries, leading Why it matters: A comma is needed before the participial phrase expressing the result.
- 10. Separate participial phrase Original: improve enabling Suggested revision: improve, enabling Why it matters: A comma separates the main clause from the following result phrase.
- 11. Use correct adjective Original: corrupted Suggested revision: corrupt Why it matters: Corrupt describes dishonest officials, while corrupted usually describes something altered or damaged.
- 12. Correct verb use Original: enhanced Suggested revision: increased Why it matters: Awareness can increase, whereas enhance requires an object in this use.
Suggested Rewrites
- estimates like measures such as
- the national income of a nation national income
- where it stands according to global rankings its position in global rankings
- greater impact in developing nations than developed ones greater impact on developing nations than on developed ones
- passed completed
- are capitalist in nature have capitalist economies
Why this response received Band 6.5
The response is strongest in its fluent academic style, varied vocabulary, and controlled complex sentences. Its central limitation is task interpretation: it mainly argues that economic growth has greater impact in developing countries, while the prompt asks whether people there are happier than those in developed countries. The highest-priority improvement is to compare happiness directly in both settings and support that comparison with relevant reasoning and examples.
IELTS Writing Criteria Scores
Task Response
The response presents and develops a clear view about the impact of growth, but it only indirectly addresses the required comparison of happiness.
Frame the thesis and body paragraphs around whether people in developing countries are happier, with explicit comparison to developed countries.
Coherence and Cohesion
Ideas are arranged in a generally logical sequence with clear paragraphing, though the brief paragraph on governance is tangential and weakens progression.
Remove or integrate the governance digression and make each paragraph advance the same direct comparison introduced in the thesis.
Lexical Resource
The response demonstrates a broad academic vocabulary with generally effective control, despite some imprecise or unnatural choices.
Choose more exact expressions, replacing items such as corrupted officials, are demanded more, and awareness has enhanced with natural alternatives.
Grammatical Range and Accuracy
A wide range of complex structures is used accurately overall, with occasional agreement, punctuation, and modifier problems.
Refine long sentences by checking clause boundaries, subject-verb agreement, and punctuation around result and participle phrases.
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IELTS Writing Task 2
The economic development plays a major role in people’s lives. Economic growth in both developed and developing countries make the country richer, but it is believed that people in developing countries are happier that those in developed ones. Do you agree or disagree?
Your response
Write the task yourself, then compare your choices with the annotated response.