Many governments think that economic progress is their most important goal. Some people, however, think that other types of progress are equally important for a country. Discuss both these views and give your own opinion.
Sample Response
Many today have made the argument that governments are overly focused on economic development to the detriment of more valuable areas of progress. In my opinion, though economic progress is often the catalyst for different forms of growth, the other areas are at least equally as important.
Supporters of economic progress point out its importance for individuals and societies generally. A thriving economy allows the average citizen to increase their quality of life in various ways. Individuals who are provided good jobs and lucrative opportunities are able to afford better healthcare, own a home potentially, purchase luxuries, and take holidays. In the aggregate, all these minor additions combine to ground a satisfied and happy life, though they are naturally not absolute guarantees. The clearest evidence of the value of this approach is that voters in democratic nations like the United States typically base their decisions primarily on economic factors.
However, economics is the basis for other areas of progress. This relates to education, standards of living, infrastructure, and, most importantly in the 21st century, the environment. In past centuries, individuals could be forgiven for considering economics to be the most important duty of governments. Today, the possibility that the Earth will face cataclysmic changes in the next century has dramatically shifted that calculus. Most researchers agree that overpopulation and the manufacturing and consumption of consumer goods are greatly exacerbating climate change and may lead to seismic disruptions for all life on Earth. Therefore, simply prioritizing the economic causes of a degrading environment would be short-sighted.
In conclusion, though economics is the basic foundation of modern civil societies, governments today should not neglect equally as crucial aspects such as the environment. The economy is means for enacting other reforms, not an end in itself.
IELTS Writing Correction
- 1. Clarify the subject Original: Many today Suggested revision: Many people today Why it matters: Adding the noun makes the opening subject explicit and natural.
- 2. Use natural collocation Original: increase Suggested revision: improve Why it matters: Quality of life is normally described as improving rather than increasing.
- 3. Add required preposition Original: provided good jobs Suggested revision: provided with good jobs Why it matters: The passive construction requires the preposition 'with'.
- 4. Improve adverb placement Original: own a home potentially Suggested revision: potentially own a home Why it matters: Placing the adverb before the verb makes its scope immediately clear.
- 5. Choose a precise noun Original: all these minor additions Suggested revision: all these individual benefits Why it matters: Benefits describes the listed improvements more precisely than additions.
- 6. Correct the collocation Original: ground a satisfied and happy life Suggested revision: form the basis of a satisfying and happy life Why it matters: The original verb-noun combination is not idiomatic in this meaning.
- 7. Name the intended concept Original: economics is the basis Suggested revision: economic progress is the basis Why it matters: Economics usually names a field of study, while the argument concerns economic progress.
- 8. Clarify the reference Original: This relates to education Suggested revision: These other areas include education Why it matters: The revision identifies the referent and introduces the examples directly.
- 9. Use the right category Original: the most important duty of governments Suggested revision: the most important priority for governments Why it matters: A policy goal is more accurately described as a priority than as a duty.
- 10. Clarify the causal phrase Original: the economic causes of a degrading environment Suggested revision: the economic activities that degrade the environment Why it matters: The revision makes clear that economic activities, rather than abstract causes, damage the environment.
- 11. Add article and preposition Original: is means for enacting Suggested revision: is a means of enacting Why it matters: The countable noun needs an article, and 'means of' is the standard construction.
Suggested Rewrites
- Many today Many people today
- increase improve
- provided good jobs provided with good jobs
- own a home potentially potentially own a home
- all these minor additions all these individual benefits
- ground a satisfied and happy life form the basis of a satisfying and happy life
Why this response received Band 8.0
The response's strongest feature is its mature, well-supported argument, which discusses both priorities and maintains a clear view that economic growth should enable wider national progress. Its main limitation is that the second body paragraph sometimes blurs the distinction between economic and non-economic progress. Sharpening that paragraph around distinct areas such as environmental protection, education, and infrastructure would make the comparison even more direct and fully balanced.
IELTS Writing Criteria Scores
Task Response
The response addresses both views, sustains a clear position, and develops its arguments with relevant explanation and an example.
Make the discussion of non-economic progress more explicit by developing one or two distinct areas rather than framing them mainly through economics.
Coherence and Cohesion
Ideas progress logically through clearly focused paragraphs, with cohesive devices and referencing used effectively throughout.
Clarify the opening link in the third paragraph so its contrast with the preceding economic argument is immediately apparent.
Lexical Resource
A wide and precise vocabulary conveys complex ideas naturally, with only isolated awkward collocations.
Refine phrases such as “combine to ground a satisfied and happy life” and “economic causes” for more idiomatic precision.
Grammatical Range and Accuracy
The response uses a broad range of complex structures accurately, and the few errors do not impede communication.
Proofread articles and fixed noun phrases, particularly the missing article in “The economy is means,” to improve final accuracy.
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IELTS Writing Task 2
Many governments think that economic progress is their most important goal. Some people, however, think that other types of progress are equally important for a country. Discuss both these views and give your own opinion.
Your response
Write the task yourself, then compare your choices with the annotated response.