Some people say that the purpose of education is to prepare individuals to be useful to society. Others say its purpose is to prepare individuals to achieve personal ambitions. Discuss these views and give your opinion.
Sample Response
The nature of education is to humanise peoplehuman, according to Paolo Pereira, stated by Paolo Pereira. Some people believe that humanising human means that every person should be beneficial for society on how societies get the advantages from their knowledge and skills. However, others believe that they attend educational institutionsattend the education institutions to gain skills and experiencefor having skills and experience as toolsas the tools to enter the job marketenter job market easily. This essay aims to discuss both purposes as well as provide several reasons.
People tend to focus on developing their social awareness through education in order to help society becomebring the society become a better community. They believe that the ultimate aim of education is to contributeis that to contribute as well as to apply knowledgeimplement the knowledge and skills for the prosperity of society. For example, those who haveare expertise in agriculturalagriculture science probably teach farmers how to grow high-quality cropseducate the farmers how to have a good quality of plants, how to manage the irrigation system well and how to sell their productsconduct the product sales in the market. Moreover, graduates are regarded as social agentsbelieved as the social agents who connect society and governmentbridge the society and government in terms of making society based policy. If there is a controversial policy that harms people, educated persons are probably asked by those people to help them conduct negotiationshelp them conducting negotiation even against the policy.
On the other hand, some believe that the ultimate aim of having an education is that people tend to get certain skills and experience as the main tools to achieve a good position in the job market. The company might require well-educated workers and put them in a strategic position which brings them to such more prosperous economic life condition. It is undeniable to stop people making education as the way to gain personal purpose because it is their personal rights. In addition, government guarantees every single person to have education for whatever the purpose as long as it is still on the education rules.
I believe that both purposes of people in entering education institution discussed above might be in line together. We can be valuable persons for the society while having a job which we allocate some money from our salaries to educate people by providing the fund for those children who need it for school fee. The higher salary we achieve, the more money we can donatedonor.
In short, everyone has their own targets to entering schools, universities or colleges. The most important thing is how to save ourselves by having a permanent job while contributing ours kills for the prosperity of society.
Why this response received Band 6.0
The response discusses both purposes of education and gives a clear view that social contribution and personal ambition can coexist, supported by a detailed example from agriculture. Its main limitation is that the personal-ambition side and the final synthesis are less convincingly developed, while frequent grammatical and lexical inaccuracies strain readability. The highest-priority improvement is to explain each view through a clear causal argument in shorter, more accurate sentences.
IELTS Writing Criteria Scores
Task Response
Both views are addressed and an opinion is stated, with useful development of social contribution but thinner support for personal ambition and their proposed relationship.
Develop the personal-ambition view with a specific example and show more directly how it can complement service to society.
Coherence and Cohesion
The response follows a logical paragraph sequence for the two views and opinion, although progression within several sentences is difficult to follow.
Use one controlling idea per paragraph and split long explanations whenever the causal link becomes unclear.
Lexical Resource
There is a reasonable range of topic vocabulary, but frequent inaccurate collocations and word forms reduce precision and occasionally obscure meaning.
Use natural phrases such as agricultural expertise, public policy, conduct negotiations, and donate money, and proofread for word-form errors.
Grammatical Range and Accuracy
The response attempts varied complex sentences, but persistent errors in articles, prepositions, verb patterns, agreement, and clause construction affect readability.
Prioritize accurate sentence frames for purpose and result, then check verb complements such as help someone conduct and contribute skills.
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IELTS Writing Task 2
Some people say that the purpose of education is to prepare individuals to be useful to society. Others say its purpose is to prepare individuals to achieve personal ambitions. Discuss these views and give your opinion.
Your response
Write the task yourself, then compare your choices with the annotated response.