Some people say that the purpose of education is to prepare individuals to be useful to society. Others say its purpose is to prepare individuals to achieve personal ambitions. Discuss these views and give your opinion.
Sample Response
In recentcurrent years, the aim of pursuing higher education has become a widespread trendhas been widely a fashionable trend. Some people believe that education aims atlays on the aim of preparing individuals to serve societyserve the society. While some others assert that education conducts personal goal. Indeed, these views have sparked a fierce debatethese issues emerges a fierce debate. Regarding this issueAs regards for this case, I will scrutinise both views along with related examples.
To begin with, the idea that every living individual belongs to a larger groupbelongs to the more complex group is a very basic concept which shapes any aspect of human life including education. This further becomes a framework of education nurturing people in the sake of emerging positive impact to the broad communities. In this regardregards, as members of societyas a part of the society, individuals are responsible for contributing thetheir knowledge they have acquired. Subsequently, it is strongly assumed that knowledge without devotion is such a meaningless sense in any variant of ways. It is the sense of devotion which encouragesencourage individuals to pursueachieve their education for the sake of benefiting others. Furthermore, the national government urges the schools to instil in pupilsenrich the pupils with the sense of nationalism in which citizens have towhere the citizen has to put public necessity over personal need. A good example is that the Indonesian government requiresA very good example is Indonesian Government requires schools to provide nationality subject in elementary and junior high schools.
In contrast, achieving personal ambitionsobtaining individual ambition should remain as the purpose of education particularly in the modern age. It is widely acknowledged thatAs is it widely acknowledged that individualism becomes a major trend where people put aside social aspect. Undoubtedly, modern lifestyle propels people to seek their own desire of how their education should be aimed to. Moreover, the belief that people must fulfil their own need plays an essential role in this case. Finally, human rights tell us the freedom of everyone choice in focusing their own passion. For instance, people havehas legal rights to assert their purpose in acquiring education.
To sum up, I personally think that preparing individuals to contribute to societydevote the society outweighs the other view in the term of education purpose.
Why this response received Band 6.0
The response discusses both purposes of education and states a clear preference, while its paragraph structure gives the argument a recognisable overall direction. However, the second view is thinly developed, several ideas are repetitive or abstract, and frequent language errors make parts awkward. The priority is to build each view around one precise reason and concrete example, expressed in simpler, more accurately controlled sentences.
IELTS Writing Criteria Scores
Task Response
Both views are addressed and the writer's opinion is clear, but development is uneven and support for personal ambition remains limited and general.
Explain one concrete benefit of education for personal ambition and support it with a specific, relevant example.
Coherence and Cohesion
The essay follows a clear four-paragraph structure, although formulaic linking and repetitive abstract statements weaken progression within paragraphs.
Give each body paragraph one controlling idea and arrange its explanation and example in a direct cause-and-effect sequence.
Lexical Resource
There is a reasonable range of academic vocabulary, but frequent inaccurate collocations and word choices reduce precision.
Prefer familiar, accurate combinations such as serving society, achieving goals, and benefiting communities over forced abstract phrasing.
Grammatical Range and Accuracy
Complex structures are attempted and meaning is generally recoverable, but agreement, article, preposition, and sentence-structure errors occur frequently.
Use shorter complete sentences and systematically check subject-verb agreement, especially with singular subjects and relative clauses.
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IELTS Writing Task 2
Some people say that the purpose of education is to prepare individuals to be useful to society. Others say its purpose is to prepare individuals to achieve personal ambitions. Discuss these views and give your opinion.
Your response
Write the task yourself, then compare your choices with the annotated response.