Some people say that the education system is the only critical factor in the development of a country. To what extent do you agree or disagree with this statement?
Sample Response
Nowadays, many people place much more emphasis ongive much more focus on how to create athe better education system in order to ensure the country's development. A majority of people believe that the education system is the only essential means of achieving itessential method for that; however,, however, I do disagree with that statement.
First and foremost, even the best education system could be useless if many people still live in poor conditionsin the poor condition. They have to work hard to continue their life consequently they prefer avoiding the education because time spent in schoolschools could be used to earn money. Subsequently, participation in the education system will not increase significantlythe education system will not increase significantly as people predictlike the prediction of the people. If a country fails to ensure enough job opportunities, an educated future generation will cause many more problemsmake much more problems than predicted since neither will they get involved in work in fields such as irrigationworks like irrigation nor will they be ablenor will be able to findmanage a suitable job.
Furthermore, the development of a country woulddevelopment of a country would probably be advanced only slightlyachieved slightly by tackling the urgent factors like famine and health care issues. Those factors are more crucial than the education system. The knowledge that we have gainedexcellent intelligence which we have gotten through education will be of no importance if we are unhealthywe are in unhealthy. Nutrition, sports facilities and vocational training are thus more important in this scenario.
Developed countries like the USA, the UK, Australia, Canada, and Japan have more educated citizens than those in underdeveloped countriesthan that of underdeveloped countries. However, they can nowadays ensure a proper education systemensure proper education system only because they had been able to ensure basic human needs properly first. Countries like Sri Lanka and many others have higher education rate than many developed countries and yet they failed to become affluent nations. Thus, before people go too far to focus on th education system, they should have covered all of the fundamentals first.
In conclusion, education system, no doubt, is a very important factor for the overall development of a nation but this is not the only factor for the development. Many other important aspects must be considered and implemented for the real development in a county.
Why this response received Band 6.5
The response maintains a clear disagreement throughout and develops a relevant case that education works alongside employment, health care, nutrition, and other basic conditions, supported by comparative examples. The main limitation is imprecise language and several overgeneralised or awkwardly reasoned claims, despite a logical overall structure. The highest-priority improvement is to express each causal link more accurately and support country comparisons with tighter, more credible explanation.
IELTS Writing Criteria Scores
Task Response
The response directly answers the question, sustains a clear position, and develops several relevant reasons, though some support is overgeneralised.
Qualify broad claims and explain the country examples more precisely to make the argument more convincing.
Coherence and Cohesion
Ideas progress logically through focused paragraphs, while some sentence connections are mechanical or weakened by unclear causal links.
Use cohesive devices selectively and make the logical relationship between each claim and consequence explicit.
Lexical Resource
The response shows a sufficient range of topic vocabulary, but recurring collocational and word-form errors reduce accuracy and naturalness.
Review academic collocations for development, poverty, employment, health, and educational participation.
Grammatical Range and Accuracy
A range of complex structures is attempted and meaning remains mostly clear, although article, agreement, clause, and punctuation errors recur.
Improve control of articles and clause boundaries, especially in long sentences expressing cause and contrast.
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IELTS Writing Task 2
Some people say that the education system is the only critical factor in the development of a country. To what extent do you agree or disagree with this statement?
Your response
Write the task yourself, then compare your choices with the annotated response.