Some employers reward members of staff for their exceptional contribution to the company by giving them extra money. This practice can act as an incentive for some but may also have a negative impact on others. To what extent is this style of management effective? Are there better ways of encouraging employees to work hard?

Sample Response

Excellent performance by employees in an organisation is usually rewarded in different ways and giving money to the best employee is a common trend in most of the organisations. Though this is a good way to motivate employees to work harder and better and engage in a positive competition, some people opine that this is not the best way to encourage employee. They think that there are better alternatives for this type of rewards. In my opinion money as a reward in combination with other motivations can be the best way for encouraging people to work harder.

First of all, one of the main reasons people work in an office is money. No matter how cordially we deny the fact that we work for money, the reality is we need money to support our family, our personal needs and to live in this world. There are definitely other factors like job satisfaction, passion for work, working environment, career prospect, relationship with co-workers and bosses that determine whether an employee is motivated to work in an organisation or not but the money the employee gets at the end of each week or month is the main determining factor. From this regard, additional money as a reward for exceptional contribution by a staff is the best way to motivate him.

Some people would argue that there are definitely better ways to motivate an employee for an exceptional performance like allowing extended holidays, giving crest, congratulating and praising. They also think that giving money to the employee of the month has a detrimental impact on others. I quite disagree with this opinion from my personal experience. I worked in a multinational company where more than 200 people worked. The best employee of the month used to get more than $600 and a certificate. This worked quite well as most of the employees in different teams wanted to be the employee of the month for the prestige and the money. I am pretty positive that other forms of rewards would have motivated employees for a short period but would not ignite the performance completion among employees in a long run.

Again, I think that giving additional money to an employee for his work performance would not create any negative impact on others. Any form of rewards like a plane ticket, crest, certificate, holidays is quite restricted in terms of their utilisation while money would give the employee complete freedom on how to spend it. For instance what if an employee wants to buy his mother a gift with the additional money he might earns- only money as a reward would ensure that. Finally, the motivations and encouragements are not universal and hence do not apply for all. This varies from person to person. While money can motivate the majority of the employees some of them might already have it in plenty and could find motivation from the praising and positive feedbacks from bosses. From this regards, congratulations from higher authority, certificate along with the money would be most effective to inspire workers to work even better in my opinion.

I would like to conclude my essay saying that money with proper recognition for the best performing employee could be the best way to motive and inspire employees in an organisation to work smarter and harder.

IELTS Writing Correction

  • 1. Use concise phrasing Original: most of the organisations Suggested revision: most organisations Why it matters: The shorter phrase expresses the generalisation more naturally.
  • 2. Remove the article Original: engage in a positive competition Suggested revision: engage in positive competition Why it matters: Competition is used uncountably in this general sense.
  • 3. Use the plural Original: employee Suggested revision: employees Why it matters: The statement refers to employees generally, so a plural noun is required.
  • 4. Fix number agreement Original: rewards Suggested revision: reward Why it matters: The singular phrase this type of must be followed by a singular noun.
  • 5. Use infinitive form Original: best way for encouraging Suggested revision: best way to encourage Why it matters: Way is conventionally followed by a to-infinitive here.
  • 6. Use plural noun Original: prospect Suggested revision: prospects Why it matters: The list refers to career opportunities in general, so the plural is natural.
  • 7. Correct the phrase Original: From Suggested revision: In Why it matters: In this regard is the standard expression for introducing this perspective.
  • 8. Use countable noun Original: by a staff Suggested revision: by a staff member Why it matters: Staff is a collective noun here and cannot refer to one employee with a.
  • 9. Remove the article Original: for an exceptional performance Suggested revision: for exceptional performance Why it matters: Performance is uncountable when referring generally to the quality of someone's work.
  • 10. Clarify the reward Original: giving crest Suggested revision: giving a plaque Why it matters: A plaque is the natural countable term for this kind of workplace award.
  • 11. Complete the objects Original: congratulating and praising Suggested revision: offering congratulations and praise Why it matters: The original participles lack an object and do not align cleanly with the noun-based list.
  • 12. Use correct preposition Original: from my personal experience Suggested revision: based on my personal experience Why it matters: An opinion is based on experience rather than disagreed from experience.

Suggested Rewrites

  • most of the organisations most organisations
  • engage in a positive competition engage in positive competition
  • employee employees
  • rewards reward
  • best way for encouraging best way to encourage
  • prospect prospects
Overall assessment

Why this response received Band 6.5

The response maintains a clear position and develops a sustained case for combining financial rewards with recognition, supported by a relevant workplace example. Its main limitation is that repeated ideas and several imprecise collocations and grammatical slips reduce polish, although meaning remains clear. The highest-priority improvement is to tighten the argument and proofread systematically for natural word combinations, articles, and agreement.

Band score breakdown

IELTS Writing Criteria Scores

TR

Task Response

7.0
Scoring rule

The response addresses both the effectiveness of financial incentives and possible alternatives while sustaining a clear, qualified position.

Next step

Develop the possible negative effects on other employees more critically and reduce repetition of the claim that money is the strongest motivator.

CC

Coherence and Cohesion

7.0
Scoring rule

Ideas progress logically through focused paragraphs, with generally clear sequencing despite some repetition and overextended sentences.

Next step

Consolidate overlapping points and use tighter sentence boundaries so each paragraph advances the argument more efficiently.

LR

Lexical Resource

6.0
Scoring rule

The response uses a reasonably broad work-related vocabulary, but recurring awkward collocations and word-choice errors reduce precision and naturalness.

Next step

Replace expressions such as performance competition and from this regard with standard collocations, and check singular and plural word forms.

GRA

Grammatical Range and Accuracy

6.0
Scoring rule

A range of simple and complex structures communicates meaning clearly, although article, agreement, and sentence-control errors recur.

Next step

Proofread specifically for articles, subject-verb agreement, and punctuation in long sentences before submitting.

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IELTS Writing Task 2

Some employers reward members of staff for their exceptional contribution to the company by giving them extra money. This practice can act as an incentive for some but may also have a negative impact on others. To what extent is this style of management effective? Are there better ways of encouraging employees to work hard?

Your response

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