Some employers reward members of staff for their exceptional contribution to the company by giving them extra money. This practice can act as an incentive for some but may also have a negative impact on others. To what extent is this style of management effective? Are there better ways of encouraging employees to work hard?
Sample Response
These days, variousThese days various organizational practices are emerging owing to the changing dynamics of the world. Some people consider rewarding and incentivizing employees to be essential, while some think it could havesketch a negative impact too. In the paragraphs to follow, I shall be talking about the effects of this practice and what could be the better alternatives to motivate them to perform optimally.
Every individual responds to incentivesEvery individual works on incentives that could be eithereither could be financialmaterialistic or verbal. The competitive environment today makes people wearyhackneyed and fatigued, especially in their workplaces. Therefore, the lack of such incentivespaucity of such driving forces would make them sombre and they ultimately lose their motivation to worklose the spark to work that keeps them going. Fulfilment and satisfactioncomplacency are the two most quintessential rewards that one is gifted with. However, if these rewards are withdrawnif that is stricken off, there is no possibility of keeping the process smooth and effectiveuntrammelled and easy-diving. In such a scenario, when the employers and the seniors in any organization reward and acknowledge the substantial contribution made by the employees, it boosts their prestige and, therefore, their willingness to work and perform and has a positive effect on the ambience of the organization as it makes people more constructively competitive and fills them with ebullience to perform ceaselessly, adding to the assets of the organization.
However, talking about the better ways than rewarding the performers is to keep on uplifting the people who, due to some reason or the other, are not able to yield as efficacious results as the ones who are outperforming by motivating words and activities. OftenAs many a time, some employees, due to various personal reasons, may not be able to diligently put their best foot forward. Hence, they could, at times, lose their motivationmar their zeal when they are not attended to or dealt with proper guidance and compassion. This might not just undermine their professional abilitiesexcruciate their professional acumen but could also doom their personal growth. Remunerating the performers by means of highlighting their efforts and offering little gifts and certificates would assuredly coax everyone to work and perform better than the last day. However, it could instill feelings of insecurity and self-doubt in some. Hence, it is very important to have regular counselling sessionsan interval counselling session for those who are not performing wellaren’t executing well, and it would improve the processshoot the process to better horizons.
Conclusively, it could thus be said that rewarding the employees is a constructive approach. Nevertheless, keeping in mind the drawbacks mentioned abovethe hind side, as is aforementioned, can improve the approachshall make the process stellar.
Why this response received Band 6.0
The response shows ambition through its wide vocabulary and sustained attempt to discuss both incentives and alternative forms of support. Its main limitation is that excessive wording, imprecise expressions, and very long sentences often obscure the reasoning, while the judgment on effectiveness remains only partly defined. The highest-priority improvement is to use plainer, more precise language to present a clear extent judgment and develop two distinct, concrete alternatives.
IELTS Writing Criteria Scores
Task Response
The response addresses the effectiveness of rewards and suggests counselling and recognition, but its extent judgment and supporting explanations remain diffuse.
State exactly how effective financial rewards are, then develop two clearly distinct alternatives with realistic workplace examples.
Coherence and Cohesion
Paragraphing provides an overall route through the discussion, but long sentences, vague references, and loosely connected claims weaken progression.
Organise each body paragraph around one controlling idea and use shorter claim-explanation-example sequences.
Lexical Resource
The response demonstrates a broad vocabulary, yet frequent inaccurate collocations and forced word choices reduce precision and sometimes obscure meaning.
Prefer natural workplace vocabulary and check collocations instead of selecting uncommon words for their apparent sophistication.
Grammatical Range and Accuracy
There is a wide range of sentence structures, but agreement, clause control, fragments, and overextended sentences cause recurring awkwardness.
Break overloaded sentences into controlled units and edit each one for a complete main clause, clear subject, and consistent agreement.
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IELTS Writing Task 2
Some employers reward members of staff for their exceptional contribution to the company by giving them extra money. This practice can act as an incentive for some but may also have a negative impact on others. To what extent is this style of management effective? Are there better ways of encouraging employees to work hard?
Your response
Write the task yourself, then compare your choices with the annotated response.