Nowadays companies and other organisations are requiring their employees to wear a uniform. What is your viewpoint on this? What are the advantages and disadvantages of wearing a uniform?
Sample Response
Being formally dressed makes a positive impression of an individual and his devotion towards his work. Taking forward this thought, organisations are mandating its employees to wear formal clothing at work, which in my perspective, makes a positive impact on the customer. However, as indicated by some individuals, it is necessary to have good interpersonal skills for maintaining a long-term relationship with their customers. There is a famous saying that 'the first impression is the last impression’, hence a person dressed smartly is more inclined to make an enduring impact on the client at his first appearance than a casually dressed person. At the point when workers are professionally dressed, they feel more confident and behave in a user-friendly manner. Such a decent conduct by the employees of an organisation advances a sound customer association which further builds a strong relationship and is more likely to be appreciated by the client. This, in turn, motivates the staffer to perform better. Therefore, letting employees dress nicely helps imbibe discipline in them which further increases their productivity. This has also been proved in a survey conducted on the employee productivity that indicates that an individual productivity increase alone by 70% by dressing uniformly at work. Some people prefer sound interpersonal abilities over sharp dressing for sustaining a strong healthy relation with the customer. They feel that good analytical ability allows employees to understand the customers well, though good oral aptitude serve to pass on the thoughts in better and effective way. This is correct to some extent, but it takes more time for developing a good relation. To conclude, it is essential to dress well as it helps employees make a strong bonding with the customer in a very less time.
IELTS Writing Correction
- 1. Correct preposition Original: makes a positive impression of an individual Suggested revision: creates a positive impression of an individual Why it matters: Create or make an impression is natural, but the current structure is awkward.
- 2. Pronoun agreement Original: organisations are mandating its employees Suggested revision: organisations are requiring their employees Why it matters: The plural noun organisations needs their.
- 3. Natural phrase Original: in my perspective Suggested revision: from my perspective Why it matters: Use from my perspective or in my view.
- 4. Clarify opposing point Original: as indicated by some individuals Suggested revision: although some people argue instead Why it matters: This needs to introduce a clear counterargument or disadvantage.
- 5. Natural reference Original: at his first appearance Suggested revision: at the first meeting Why it matters: The original phrase is unnatural in a customer context.
- 6. Wrong collocation Original: in a user-friendly manner Suggested revision: in a professional manner Why it matters: User-friendly is normally used for products or systems, not employee behaviour.
- 7. Business collocation Original: a sound customer association Suggested revision: a strong customer relationship Why it matters: This is the natural business phrase.
- 8. Wrong verb pattern Original: helps imbibe discipline in them Suggested revision: helps instil discipline in them Why it matters: Instil discipline is the correct collocation.
- 9. Fix structure Original: an individual productivity increase alone by 70% Suggested revision: an individual's productivity increases by 70% Why it matters: The sentence needs a possessive noun and a finite verb.
- 10. Formal wording Original: sharp dressing Suggested revision: professional appearance Why it matters: This is more suitable for academic writing.
- 11. Agreement Original: good oral aptitude serve Suggested revision: good oral aptitude serves Why it matters: The singular subject needs a singular verb.
- 12. Natural phrase Original: pass on the thoughts Suggested revision: communicate ideas Why it matters: This is clearer and more formal.
Suggested Rewrites
- makes a positive impression of an individual creates a positive impression of an individual
- organisations are mandating its employees organisations are requiring their employees
- in my perspective from my perspective
- as indicated by some individuals although some people argue instead
- at his first appearance at the first meeting
- in a user-friendly manner in a professional manner
IELTS Writing Criteria Scores
Detailed feedback by IELTS writing criterion after the annotated essay.
Task Response
The essay gives a viewpoint in favour of formal clothing and discusses advantages such as first impressions, confidence, discipline, and productivity. However, it does not clearly discuss disadvantages of wearing uniforms; instead, it contrasts clothing with interpersonal skills, which only partly answers the prompt.
Add a dedicated disadvantage paragraph covering comfort, individuality, cost, or practicality, then weigh those disadvantages against the advantages.
Coherence and Cohesion
There is a basic line of argument, but the whole essay is one paragraph and ideas are compressed. The movement from uniforms to interpersonal skills is not clearly signposted as a disadvantage.
Use separate paragraphs for opinion, advantages, disadvantages, and conclusion, with topic sentences that identify each section.
Lexical Resource
The response has a reasonable range of workplace and customer-service vocabulary, but several word choices and collocations are unnatural or overly translated.
Use natural business phrases such as customer relationship, professional appearance, employee morale, productivity, and dress code.
Grammatical Range and Accuracy
Grammar is generally understandable, but errors with agreement, articles, relative clauses, and verb forms occur regularly. Some long sentences are overloaded.
Shorten long sentences and check singular-plural agreement, especially with organisations, employees, productivity, and abilities.