In modern society, it is no longer necessary to slaughter animals for producing foodstuffs, or non-food products such as clothes or medicine. To what extent do you agree or disagree?
Sample Response
In an era of growing public concern over animal conservation, whether animals should be killed to produce food, clothing, and medicinefood, clothing and medicine has sparked significantfierce debate. From my perspective, slaughtering animals for human needs can be justified, though this practice must be subject to strict regulation. Admittedly, animal-sourced products bring tangible benefits to human health and nutritionhuman welfare. Meat, for example, contains high levels of protein, an essential nutrient for muscle and bone development. Without adequate protein from livestock, people may become more vulnerablepeople become more vulnerable to a range of health conditions. Strict vegetarian diets, for instance, may carry unforeseen long-term risks to human metabolic functions. Moreover, some essential pharmaceuticalsvital medicines rely on compounds extracted from animal tissuesharvested from animal organs or blood, and these remain irreplaceable therapies for specific medical conditions. On the other hand, scientific progress has enabled many medications to be synthesised chemically in laboratoriespharmaceutical facilities or derived from plant sources, offering alternatives to animal-based drugs. Furthermore, killing animals for clothing is ethically indefensible. Modern textile manufacturing can produce synthetic fabrics that outperform animal-derived materials in functional propertiespractical attributes such as wrinkle-resistance and washability. Demand for fur and leather often stems from human vanity, as consumers seek to display social status through high-end animal-derived attireluxury animal-skin garments. From an environmental perspective, biodiversity underpinsBeyond ethical concerns, biodiversity underpins stable ecosystems. Should one species be driven to extinction, the resulting ripple effects couldShould one species be driven to extinction, ripple effects across food chains can trigger irreversible ecological damage, ultimately endangering human survival. In conclusion, strictly regulated animal usecontrolled animal slaughter for food and indispensable medicines is acceptable, but the production of animal-sourced clothing ought to be prohibited in the interests of long-term ecological balance.
Why this response received Band 8.0
The essay presents a well-structured and nuanced position that directly addresses all parts of the prompt with sophisticated language and strong logical coherence. The primary limitation is the brief development of certain points due to word count constraints, particularly regarding alternative protein sources. To elevate the writing further, elaborate more deeply on counterarguments to strengthen the persuasion of the central thesis.
IELTS Writing Criteria Scores
Task Response
The response presents a clear, nuanced position that thoroughly addresses all aspects of the prompt, including food, clothing, and medicine.
Provide deeper analysis of modern alternatives like plant-based proteins to address the prompt's premise even more convincingly.
Coherence and Cohesion
Paragraphing is logical and ideas progress smoothly across the essay with effective use of cohesive devices.
Ensure transitions between supporting body paragraphs feel even more seamless by linking main themes directly.
Lexical Resource
A wide range of precise vocabulary and topic-specific collocations is used naturally and accurately throughout the response.
Maintain this high level of lexical sophistication while ensuring that all specialized terms remain contextually natural.
Grammatical Range and Accuracy
The essay demonstrates a flexible mix of complex sentence structures with consistently high accuracy and control.
Continue employing varied grammatical structures while maintaining complete precision across longer, multi-clause sentences.
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IELTS Writing Task 2
In modern society, it is no longer necessary to slaughter animals for producing foodstuffs, or non-food products such as clothes or medicine. To what extent do you agree or disagree?
Your response
Write the task yourself, then compare your choices with the annotated response.