Only experienced executives should be taking decisions in a company. Discuss and give your opinion.
Sample Response
Nowadays companies are driven by executives and innovative ideas, which impart the impetus to the growth of a company. In the realm of innovative ideas, while many believe that only the higher management and the people with profuse experience in the industry should brain drain and envisage new ideas for the development of the organization, others, however, corroborate a strong case by claiming that ideas do not depend on the domain knowledge and year of experience and hence, even freshers or subordinates with a few years of work experience should be involved in the decision-making process of a company. Both the sides of the argument will be critiqued in the viability of the essay and an opinion will be made.
On the one hand, it is true that in this competitive world there is a little scope of mistakes in the development stratagem of a firm. Thus, the onus is on high salaried executives to sit together and envisage for the growth of the company. Moreover, the vast experience they carry with them, there is no uncertainty involved in the process. For an instance, 60% of the organisations have confirmed in a survey that 15-18 years professionals have played an indispensable role in their market capturing plans.
On the other hand, the world is transforming and ability to plan and devise innovations are not only instilled in senior executives but also it is infused in entry level employees as well. For instance, as per a magazine of innovative ideas, 70% of the startup ideas belong to freshers with age group 24-26 years. Moreover, revolutionary social networking site facebook is also framed and developed by a college fresher. Evidently, it can be confirmed that organisations should engage young brains as well in framing and producing new ideas.
To sum up, though senior employee's decision will certainly bring on stable ideas, but the world is of innovations and fresh subordinates can certainly play a paramount role in the growth of a company and subsequently a nation.
IELTS Writing Correction
- 1. Add opening comma Original: Nowadays companies Suggested revision: Nowadays, companies Why it matters: The introductory adverb requires a following comma.
- 2. Use direct growth verb Original: which impart the impetus to the growth of a company Suggested revision: which drive company growth Why it matters: The revision replaces an unnatural and wordy collocation with a direct verb.
- 3. Use management term Original: the higher management Suggested revision: senior management Why it matters: ‘Senior management’ is the standard term for top-level executives.
- 4. Fix experience collocation Original: people with profuse experience Suggested revision: people with extensive experience Why it matters: Experience can be ‘extensive’, whereas ‘profuse’ is not natural here.
- 5. Correct idea verbs Original: brain drain and envisage new ideas Suggested revision: brainstorm and devise new ideas Why it matters: ‘Brain drain’ describes skilled migration, not the process of generating ideas.
- 6. Simplify opposing claim Original: others, however, corroborate a strong case by claiming Suggested revision: others argue Why it matters: The original phrase misuses ‘corroborate’ and duplicates the contrast already marked by ‘while’.
- 7. Fix number and articles Original: the domain knowledge and year of experience Suggested revision: domain knowledge or years of experience Why it matters: The general uncountable noun needs no article, and experience is measured in plural years.
- 8. Use international term Original: freshers Suggested revision: new employees Why it matters: ‘New employees’ is clearer and more widely understood in a workplace context.
- 9. Remove unnecessary article Original: Both the sides Suggested revision: Both sides Why it matters: ‘Both’ directly determines the plural noun, so ‘the’ is unnecessary.
- 10. Fix essay signposting Original: critiqued in the viability of the essay Suggested revision: examined in this essay Why it matters: ‘Viability’ does not describe the location or process of discussing viewpoints.
- 11. Use natural opinion phrase Original: an opinion will be made Suggested revision: my opinion will be presented Why it matters: An opinion is presented or expressed rather than made in this context.
- 12. Fix scope expression Original: a little scope of mistakes Suggested revision: little room for mistakes Why it matters: The standard construction is ‘little room for mistakes’.
Suggested Rewrites
- Nowadays companies Nowadays, companies
- which impart the impetus to the growth of a company which drive company growth
- the higher management senior management
- people with profuse experience people with extensive experience
- brain drain and envisage new ideas brainstorm and devise new ideas
- others, however, corroborate a strong case by claiming others argue
Why this response received Band 6.5
The response’s strongest feature is its clear consideration of both experienced executives and junior employees, with a consistent final preference for broader participation in decision-making. Its main limitation is language control: ambitious wording is repeatedly misused, and several long sentences contain structural errors that blur otherwise relevant ideas. The highest priority is to express the same argument in simpler, accurate sentences using natural business collocations rather than forced or inappropriate vocabulary.
IELTS Writing Criteria Scores
Detailed feedback by IELTS writing criterion after the annotated essay.
Task Response
Both sides are discussed with relevant reasons and examples, and the conclusion clearly supports involving less experienced employees alongside senior executives.
Strengthen the evaluation by explaining when executive experience should outweigh junior innovation rather than relying on unverified survey percentages.
Coherence and Cohesion
The response follows a clear two-sided structure and progresses logically, although the introduction is overloaded and some linking is mechanical.
Condense the opening into a direct position and use shorter transitions to connect each reason with its supporting example.
Lexical Resource
A broad business vocabulary is attempted, but frequent inaccurate collocations and word choices undermine precision and sometimes obscure meaning.
Replace misused phrases such as ‘brain drain’, ‘viability of the essay’, and ‘market capturing plans’ with straightforward, conventional business English.
Grammatical Range and Accuracy
Complex structures are attempted throughout, but frequent errors in clause construction, agreement, articles, and sentence boundaries reduce control.
Build complete main clauses first, then check subject–verb agreement and articles before adding subordinate phrases or paired constructions.
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IELTS Writing Task 2
Only experienced executives should be taking decisions in a company. Discuss and give your opinion.
Your response
Write the task yourself, then compare your choices with the annotated response.