Tourism today creates a variety of problems, such as pollution due to flights, traffic congestion and water pollution. Some people think that governments should impose extra taxes on flights and accommodation to restrict today’s tourism industry. To what extent do you agree or disagree with this proposal?
Sample Response
While tourism contributes to economic development, it also leads to various problems, including pollution, traffic congestion, and environmental degradation. Some individuals argue that governments should address these issues by imposing additional taxes on flights and accommodations to restrict the tourism industry. This essay will present arguments in opposition to this proposal highlighting how it can reduce economic movement and hinder potential job creation.
Imposing extra taxes on flights and accommodation may have unintended consequences. Higher taxes can discourage tourists from visiting a destination, resulting in a decline in tourism revenue and economic opportunities for local communities. For example, let us consider a scenario where a country decides to impose additional taxes on flights and accommodation. As a result, the cost of travelling to that destination increases significantly. This could discourage potential tourists, especially those with limited budgets, from visiting the country. Additionally, individuals from lower-income backgrounds, who rely on affordable travel options, may find it even more challenging to access and explore new destinations due to the increased financial burden imposed by higher taxes.
The tourism industry plays a crucial role in generating employment and stimulating economic growth in many countries. Additional taxes could hinder the industry's potential for job creation and economic development. Tourism-related businesses, including hotels, restaurants, and tour operators, provide employment opportunities for local communities, contributing to income generation and poverty reduction. By imposing excessive taxes, governments risk impeding the growth of these industries and depriving communities of valuable sources of income.
So, while the tourism industry does pose challenges, imposing extra taxes on flights and accommodations to restrict tourism is not an effective solution. Such measures may have unintended consequences, including economic setbacks, and unequal impacts on individuals and the local community.
IELTS Writing Correction
- 1. Use mass noun Original: accommodations Suggested revision: accommodation Why it matters: In this general sense, "accommodation" is normally used as an uncountable noun.
- 2. Use concise phrasing Original: individuals from lower-income backgrounds Suggested revision: people on lower incomes Why it matters: The replacement expresses the same group more directly and naturally.
- 3. Correct verb choice Original: access and explore new destinations Suggested revision: travel to and explore new destinations Why it matters: People travel to destinations; "access destinations" is an unnatural collocation here.
- 4. Reduce wordiness Original: increased financial burden imposed by higher taxes Suggested revision: increased financial burden of higher taxes Why it matters: The shorter noun phrase preserves the causal meaning without an unnecessary passive construction.
- 5. Use direct wording Original: industry's potential for job creation Suggested revision: industry's ability to create jobs Why it matters: The revision is more direct while preserving the point about employment.
- 6. Keep terminology consistent Original: By imposing excessive taxes Suggested revision: By imposing these additional taxes Why it matters: "These additional taxes" accurately refers back to the proposal without newly characterizing them as excessive.
- 7. Use formal transition Original: So Suggested revision: Overall Why it matters: "Overall" provides a more formal transition into the concluding synthesis.
- 8. Use mass noun Original: accommodations Suggested revision: accommodation Why it matters: "Accommodation" is normally uncountable when referring generally to lodging.
- 9. Remove unnecessary comma Original: economic setbacks, and unequal impacts Suggested revision: economic setbacks and unequal impacts Why it matters: No comma is needed between two items joined by "and".
- 10. Match general number Original: individuals and the local community Suggested revision: individuals and local communities Why it matters: The plural form matches the essay's general discussion of destinations and communities.
- 11. Sentence rewrite Original: This essay will present arguments in opposition to this proposal highlighting how it can reduce economic movement and hinder potential job creation. Suggested revision: This essay opposes the proposal because it could reduce economic activity and hinder job creation. Why it matters: The rewrite fixes the unclear attachment of "highlighting" and replaces the unnatural phrase "economic movement".
- 12. Condense repeated sequence Suggested revision: Combine the scenario, higher-cost result, and reduced-visitor point so the paragraph progresses without restating the same causal chain. Why it matters: Several consecutive sentences repeat that taxes raise travel costs and discourage visitors, which slows the paragraph's progression.
Suggested Rewrites
- accommodations accommodation
- individuals from lower-income backgrounds people on lower incomes
- access and explore new destinations travel to and explore new destinations
- increased financial burden imposed by higher taxes increased financial burden of higher taxes
- industry's potential for job creation industry's ability to create jobs
- By imposing excessive taxes By imposing these additional taxes
Why this response received Band 7.5
The response takes a consistent position and organises two relevant economic objections into clear, logically sequenced paragraphs, with generally controlled complex grammar. Development is somewhat repetitive and gives limited attention to why the stated environmental costs would not justify taxation; the main priority is to engage that rationale directly and support the opposition with a more specific counterexample or practical alternative.
IELTS Writing Criteria Scores
Task Response
The response clearly disagrees and develops relevant concerns about affordability, tourism revenue, and employment, though the case remains somewhat one-sided in its reasoning.
Address the environmental justification for the proposal directly and add a specific alternative measure or counterexample to deepen the evaluation.
Coherence and Cohesion
The argument follows a clear progression with effective paragraphing, although the two body sections partly repeat the same economic consequence.
Give each body paragraph a more distinct function, separating the equity argument from the employment and growth argument.
Lexical Resource
Vocabulary is sufficiently varied and generally accurate, with occasional imprecise collocations and some repetition of key economic terms.
Use more exact phrasing for economic effects and vary repeated language about taxes, opportunities, and communities without forcing synonyms.
Grammatical Range and Accuracy
Complex and simple structures are combined flexibly, with most sentences error-free and only minor punctuation or form slips.
Polish comma placement and maintain consistent singular and plural forms, particularly when referring to accommodation and affected communities.
Write this task while it is fresh
Try the same task now. It helps you remember the feedback and write better next time.
IELTS Writing Task 2
Tourism today creates a variety of problems, such as pollution due to flights, traffic congestion and water pollution. Some people think that governments should impose extra taxes on flights and accommodation to restrict today’s tourism industry. To what extent do you agree or disagree with this proposal?
Your response
Write the task yourself, then compare your choices with the annotated response.