What are the factors which are related to academic success in high-school students?
Sample Response
Every yearAnnually, many students around the worlda wide range of students in all around the world, graduating from high schools, wonder howare excited that how they could achieve academic successtheir greatest successes in higher educationby experiencing in academic life. Thus, the importantremarkable question taking shape in individuals' mindsindividuals’ mind is whatis that what key factors could lead them to achieve such successacquire such greatest benefits at universityin universities. It is supposed to be discussed these crucial ingredients in the following paragraphs.
The most important factor in academic success is thatAs the most considerable element in the way of finding success in academic life is that the students choose the best field of study, that genuinely interests them.which they are really interested in; More importantlyAbove all, they are talented in itthat. To put it simply, the more their field aligns with their interestsfield matches with their conviction, the greater chance they havethe more chance they could have to build successful careersmake their future professional life. In this way, the parents and teachers could play a pivotal role in identifying students' talentsclarifying the students` talents.
Another chief agent in this matter is the quality of the university to which students applyquality of university which student apply in. Given the variety of institutes and universitiesAccording to a diversity of institutes and universities, it could be important to find a suitable institutionan adequate place that offers the student facilities ranging from academics to educational equipment.
As the last point, it should be noted that taking advantage of a suitable situation for studying at home and university alike, could contribute to students concentrate on their subjects and possess opportunities to do widely research in their field.
In conclusion, there is no doubt that graduating from high school and beginning an academic life could be a great honour for both students and their families. However, it would not be achieved the tremendous successes without paying heed to the decisive elements which some of those were briefly stated in the above paragraphs.
Why this response received Band 5.5
The response's strongest feature is its orderly presentation of several potentially relevant factors, including personal interest, educational quality, guidance, and study conditions. Its main limitation is task focus: the discussion repeatedly shifts from success among high-school students to choosing university fields and succeeding at university, while frequent language errors blur several explanations. The highest priority is to reframe every factor around current high-school achievement and support it with a precise school-based example.
IELTS Writing Criteria Scores
Task Response
Several factors are identified and partly explained, but much of the response concerns future university study rather than academic success in high school.
Address the stated group directly by discussing factors such as study habits, teacher support, motivation, attendance, and the home environment during high school.
Coherence and Cohesion
The response has a recognisable introduction, separate factor paragraphs, and a conclusion, though progression within some paragraphs is unclear.
Begin each body paragraph with one high-school factor and follow it with a direct explanation and a specific example.
Lexical Resource
There is some range in education-related vocabulary, but frequent inaccurate collocations and forced formal wording weaken precision.
Use natural expressions such as academic achievement, suitable field of study, research widely, and identify students' talents.
Grammatical Range and Accuracy
The response attempts complex structures, but errors in sentence construction, articles, agreement, prepositions, and verb patterns occur frequently.
Build complete main clauses first and then add one accurately controlled subordinate clause at a time.
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IELTS Writing Task 2
What are the factors which are related to academic success in high-school students?
Your response
Write the task yourself, then compare your choices with the annotated response.