What are the factors which are related to academic success in high-school students?
Sample Response
It is a fact that every high school student has their own academic strengthshis/her own different capacity in academic subjectsin terms of academic study. Some students might have good results in the artsgood results in arts while others might be good at science or mathematics. However, regardless of the subject a student prefersdespite the subject that the student likes, there are several factors that will affect their achievementaffect to his/her achievements, and the following essay will discuss them in detaildetails.
Firstly, it is important for students to receive support from their parentsget some attention from their parents. Some parents spend time discussingdo spend times for discussing the projects at school, share theirthe knowledge and give some advice to their children. Many people do not realise that these kinds of simple activities could influence and motivate children to achievemotivate children in achieving their best results at school.
Secondly, teachers should not rank school subjectsrank some subjects at school. Some teachers believe that subjects such as mathematics or sciencesciences are superior tomore superior than arts or physical educationeducations. This kind of attitude should be discouraged in schoolsprohibited at schools, as some students might perform well at sports while others are good at literature. Instead of classifying some subjects, teachers should learn to acknowledge their students’ talentsacknowledge the talent of their students and support them.
Last but not least, high-school students should have a positive mindset. They should focus on studying all subjects that are taught at school, though some of them might not be their favourite subjects. They should understand clearly that all courses will be useful for them in the future. For example, although some students might become professional doctors in the future, it is important for them to study accountingstudy about accounting as well since they have to manage their own financial matters.
In conclusion, there are many factors that affect the academic success of a secondary school student. But in my opinion, the three important factors are supportive parentsthe supportive parents, teachers’ fairness and the positive mindset of the student him/herself.
Why this response received Band 7.0
The essay identifies three relevant factors in academic success—parental support, fair recognition from teachers and students' own mindset—and develops each in a clear paragraph. Its strongest feature is the practical explanation of how adults can motivate or support learners; the main limitation is that some examples and claims, particularly the accounting example, are only loosely connected to measurable success. The priority is to explain each factor through a direct academic outcome.
IELTS Writing Criteria Scores
Task Response
Three relevant factors are clearly identified and developed, although the claim that every subject is useful and the accounting example only loosely explain academic success.
Show a direct mechanism for each factor, such as parental feedback improving study habits or teacher fairness increasing engagement and achievement.
Coherence and Cohesion
The essay progresses logically through three clearly separated factors, with effective paragraphing despite somewhat mechanical sequencing.
Replace formulaic signposts with topic sentences that name the specific factor and its effect on academic performance.
Lexical Resource
Vocabulary is sufficient and sometimes precise, but recurring collocational and countability errors reduce naturalness.
Use forms such as "affect achievement", "spend time discussing", "science subjects", "physical education" and "academic detail".
Grammatical Range and Accuracy
A mix of simple and complex structures communicates meaning clearly, though article, preposition, agreement and plural errors recur.
Proofread noun phrases and verb patterns, especially "each student has", "affect achievement" and "parents spend time sharing knowledge".
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IELTS Writing Task 2
What are the factors which are related to academic success in high-school students?
Your response
Write the task yourself, then compare your choices with the annotated response.