Failure is proof that the desire wasn’t strong enough. To what extent do you agree with this statement?
This response is estimated at Band 7.5. Can you write a better one?
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Sample Response
I partially agree with the statement that failure is proof that the desire wasn’t strong enough. While desire and motivation play crucial roles in achieving goals, attributing failure solely to insufficient desirefailure solely to a lack of desire oversimplifies the complexity of successthe complex nature of success. Many factors influence successNumerous factors contribute to success, including skills, opportunitiesskill, opportunity, and external circumstances.
Desire serves as a driving force, motivating individuals to persevere through challenges. However, in some cases, failure may result from circumstancesfactors beyond one’s control, such as unforeseen obstacles or systemic barriers. For instance, an entrepreneur with a strong determinationdesire to launch a business may face economic downturns or market fluctuations that cause the venture to failthat lead to failure despite their unwavering commitment.
Furthermore, failure often provides valuable lessons that can strengthen one’s determinationresolve and desire. Thomas Edison famously said, “I have not failed. I’ve just found 10,000 ways that won’t work.” This quotationperspective highlights how failure can be a basis for later successa stepping stone to success by refining strategiesstrategies and approaches.
In conclusion, while a strong desire is undoubtedly a crucial element in achieving goals, it is not the sole determinant of success. External factors and the ability to adapt to setbacks also play significant roles in the process of achieving objectivesthe journey toward accomplishing objectives.
Why this response received Band 7.5
The response presents a nuanced position and supports it with relevant, clearly sequenced arguments and precise language. Its main limitation is substantial underlength, which restricts the depth and breadth of development expected for this task, particularly around the role of desire itself. The highest priority is to extend the analysis with a more fully explained counterargument or additional evidence while preserving the current clarity and control.
IELTS Writing Criteria Scores
Task Response
The position is clear and relevant ideas are supported effectively, but the response is substantially underlength and therefore lacks the fuller development expected for the task.
Develop the role of desire more fully and add a well-explained counterargument or example to reach an appropriate task length.
Coherence and Cohesion
Ideas are logically ordered, paragraphs have clear purposes, and cohesive devices guide the reader smoothly without drawing attention.
Preserve this controlled progression while expanding the body so that added detail remains clearly grouped and proportioned.
Lexical Resource
A wide and precise vocabulary is used naturally, with effective academic phrasing and consistently appropriate word choice.
Maintain this precision while varying a few repeated words such as desire, failure, and success when extending the discussion.
Grammatical Range and Accuracy
The response uses a wide range of complex structures accurately, and nearly all sentences are error-free and easy to follow.
Sustain the same grammatical control across a longer response, especially when adding more elaborate counterargument sentences.