People can prepare various types of foods easily and in less time nowadays. What contributed to this improvement and has this development changed the way we live?
Sample Response
In these modern days, preparing food has been quite simple, by the advancement of sophisticated cooking utensils and equipment, which in turn has changed the livelihood of people to a great extent. I believe that this change is easily understandable if we look at our daily agenda, as we contribute a lot of time for our profession and other recreational activities.
When we think about being independent, we need to realise that managing time is the greatest challenge we need to face. We all have so many tasks per day, which we need to fit properly into our tight schedules and hence it is very significant that, we are required to minimise the time we need for each activity. Though I agree that, cooking food in a healthy manner is really it is worth to maintain a sound physique, it is very much achievable nowadays, by using equipment like microwave ovens, pressure cookers, induction stoves and high flame gas stoves. The world has become more and more competent, for people to live these days because we need to be more efficient in saving time in order to carry out our job responsibilities and hence the advancement in never cooking methods has a great effect on it. Spending time together with family is also very important for the bond between individuals. Being said that, this process of recreation is, for most people; still a dream, as it needs leisure time. The time we could cut down on different daily activities can attribute to this, and cooking is surely one among those. On the other hand, as this trend continues to its maximum, we have been noticing people tend to quit the time for food preparation and instead they depend heavily on fast food restaurants. According to me, this modern day habit is something we need to cease due to its negative effect on our health. To conclude, I certainly think that, making cuisine is less difficult in this modern era, and it has definitely reduced people's effort and stress; although the increase in the number of restaurants day by day is a question which points towards us, as a real threat to generations coming up.
IELTS Writing Correction
- 1. Use the natural time marker Original: In these modern days Suggested revision: Nowadays Why it matters: “Nowadays” is the conventional concise expression for the present period.
- 2. Fix tense and cause Original: has been quite simple, by Suggested revision: has become much simpler because of Why it matters: The present perfect describes the change, and “because of” correctly introduces its cause.
- 3. Use the intended meaning Original: changed the livelihood of people Suggested revision: changed people’s lives Why it matters: “Livelihood” refers to a means of earning money, whereas the sentence concerns daily life generally.
- 4. Use natural wording Original: agenda Suggested revision: routines Why it matters: “Daily routines” naturally refers to regular work and leisure activities.
- 5. Correct the collocation Original: contribute a lot of time for Suggested revision: devote a great deal of time to Why it matters: The standard pattern is “devote time to” an activity.
- 6. Use concise wording Original: so many tasks per day Suggested revision: so many daily tasks Why it matters: The adjective “daily” expresses the frequency more concisely.
- 7. Repair the connector Original: and hence it is very significant that, Suggested revision: and hence it is important that Why it matters: The revision removes the misplaced comma and uses the natural adjective for a practical requirement.
- 8. Use the fixed transition Original: Being said that Suggested revision: That said Why it matters: The established concessive transition is “That said.”
- 9. Clarify the reference Original: this process of recreation Suggested revision: this family recreation Why it matters: The revised phrase clearly links the activity to the preceding point about family time.
- 10. Correct the interruption punctuation Original: is, for most people; still a dream Suggested revision: is still, for most people, a dream Why it matters: The parenthetical phrase needs paired commas rather than a comma and semicolon.
- 11. Use natural phrasing Original: The time we could cut down on Suggested revision: The time we can save on Why it matters: People save time on activities rather than cut down on time itself.
- 12. Use the active verb Original: attribute Suggested revision: contribute Why it matters: “Attribute” would require a passive construction, whereas “contribute” fits the active subject.
Suggested Rewrites
- In these modern days Nowadays
- has been quite simple, by has become much simpler because of
- changed the livelihood of people changed people’s lives
- agenda routines
- contribute a lot of time for devote a great deal of time to
- so many tasks per day so many daily tasks
Why this response received Band 6.0
The response’s strongest feature is its range of relevant effects, linking modern cooking equipment to time savings, family life, work demands, and reliance on fast food. Its main limitation is a loosely organised single body paragraph containing frequent awkward or inaccurate constructions that sometimes obscure the argument. The highest-priority improvement is to divide the answer by question part and express each cause-and-effect point in shorter, grammatically controlled sentences.
IELTS Writing Criteria Scores
Detailed feedback by IELTS writing criterion after the annotated essay.
Task Response
Both questions are answered with relevant ideas about technology and changed lifestyles, though the causes are less fully developed than the effects.
Explain more directly how specific technological and social changes made food preparation quicker before evaluating their impact on daily life.
Coherence and Cohesion
The main ideas have an identifiable overall direction, but placing nearly the entire argument in one long paragraph weakens progression and clarity.
Use separate body paragraphs for the causes of quicker preparation and the resulting lifestyle changes, with one clear central idea in each.
Lexical Resource
The response uses a reasonable range of topic vocabulary, but frequent inaccurate collocations and word choices reduce naturalness and precision.
Replace expressions such as ‘contribute time,’ ‘competent world,’ and ‘quit the time’ with simpler, conventional phrasing.
Grammatical Range and Accuracy
Complex structures are attempted throughout, but frequent errors in clauses, punctuation, articles, and verb patterns make several sentences difficult to follow.
Break long sentences into controlled units and proofread each one for complete clause structure, article use, and correct verb forms.
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IELTS Writing Task 2
People can prepare various types of foods easily and in less time nowadays. What contributed to this improvement and has this development changed the way we live?
Your response
Write the task yourself, then compare your choices with the annotated response.