Some people say that now we can see films on our phones or tablets, and there is no need to go to the cinema. Others say that to be fully enjoyed, films need to be seen in a cinema. Discuss both these views and give your own opinion.
Sample Response
In today's digital age, the proliferation of smartphones and tablets has enabled us to access movies on the go. While some argue that this renders the movie theatres obsolete, others contend that the cinema hall's experience is unparalleled. In this essay, both perspectives will be explored. In my opinion, however, watching movies in the theatre is invariably superior.
On the one hand, watching films on mobile devices has numerous benefits. Firstly, it provides unprecedented convenience and flexibility. We can watch our favourite films anywhere and anytime, even while commuting to work or travelling. Secondly, it saves us money and time as we do not have to commute to the cinema, pay for tickets or snacks. Finally, it enables us to watch films in a personalised manner, without any external interference or distraction.
On the other hand, cinema enthusiasts argue that the movie theatre experience is unique and cannot be replicated on a small screen. Firstly, the large screen and surround sound system of the cinema offer an immersive and cinematic experience. Secondly, the social aspect of going to the cinema is lost when we watch films on our devices. It is a shared experience where we can discuss the film with our friends and family, and make it an outing. Finally, the anticipation and excitement of going to the cinema cannot be replicated, making it a memorable experience.
In my opinion, watching films on mobile devices has its benefits, but the movie theatre experience is always superior. The immersive experience, social aspect, and anticipation and excitement of going to the cinema make it an outstanding experience.
In conclusion, while the ability to watch films on mobile devices has made it more convenient and personalised, it cannot replace the unique experience of going to the cinema. Therefore, the cinema experience should be cherished and preserved as a treasured cultural institution.
IELTS Writing Correction
- 1. Remove generic article Original: the movie theatres obsolete Suggested revision: movie theatres obsolete Why it matters: A generic plural noun does not take 'the' in this construction.
- 2. Fix possessive collocation Original: the cinema hall's experience Suggested revision: the cinema experience Why it matters: The experience belongs to viewers, so the possessive form is unnatural here.
- 3. Use consistent expression Original: in the theatre is invariably superior Suggested revision: at the cinema is invariably superior Why it matters: 'At the cinema' is the natural expression for this viewing context.
- 4. Use standard phrase Original: anywhere and anytime Suggested revision: anywhere at any time Why it matters: 'At any time' is the standard adverbial form paired with 'anywhere'.
- 5. Correct the collocation Original: commute Suggested revision: travel Why it matters: 'Commute' normally describes regular travel between home and work or study.
- 6. Use natural wording Original: manner Suggested revision: way Why it matters: 'In a personalised way' is less stiff and more idiomatic in this context.
- 7. Use concrete nouns Original: external interference or distraction Suggested revision: interruptions or distractions Why it matters: These nouns more directly describe disturbances while watching a film.
- 8. Remove redundancy Original: immersive and cinematic experience Suggested revision: immersive experience Why it matters: Calling a cinema experience 'cinematic' adds little distinct meaning.
- 9. Correct relative phrase Original: shared experience where Suggested revision: shared experience in which Why it matters: 'In which' correctly links the activity to the abstract noun 'experience'.
- 10. Sentence rewrite Original: Finally, the anticipation and excitement of going to the cinema cannot be replicated, making it a memorable experience. Suggested revision: Finally, the anticipation and excitement of a cinema visit make the occasion memorable in a way that watching on a device cannot match. Why it matters: The revision removes the vague result clause and avoids repeating 'experience'.
- 11. Avoid repeated support Suggested revision: Use this paragraph to compare the two viewing modes directly instead of repeating the cinema benefits already listed. Why it matters: Repeating the same three benefits limits progression from the preceding paragraph.
Suggested Rewrites
- the movie theatres obsolete movie theatres obsolete
- the cinema hall's experience the cinema experience
- in the theatre is invariably superior at the cinema is invariably superior
- anywhere and anytime anywhere at any time
- commute travel
- manner way
Why this response received Band 7.5
The essay addresses both perspectives clearly, maintains a consistent preference for cinemas, and uses a broad range of generally accurate language. Its main limitation is that several points are presented as a list and the final two paragraphs repeat the same judgement without adding analysis. Prioritise developing fewer reasons in greater depth, using a concrete comparison to explain why the cinematic experience outweighs mobile convenience.
IELTS Writing Criteria Scores
Task Response
Both views are addressed and the opinion remains clear, but several supporting points are asserted or listed rather than fully developed.
Choose the strongest reason on each side and extend it with a clear cause-and-effect explanation or concrete example before comparing them.
Coherence and Cohesion
The response is logically divided and easy to follow, although repetitive sequencing and overlapping final paragraphs make the progression somewhat mechanical.
Reduce numbered linking devices and give the opinion paragraph and conclusion distinct purposes, or combine them more efficiently.
Lexical Resource
The response uses a broad range of topical vocabulary with generally good precision, despite some awkward collocations and repetition.
Replace repeated uses of experience and revise unnatural noun phrases with more varied, idiomatic alternatives.
Grammatical Range and Accuracy
A varied range of complex forms is mostly accurate, with minor weaknesses in reference, parallelism, and possessive constructions.
Check pronoun referents, parallel structures, and complex noun phrases during proofreading to improve consistency.
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IELTS Writing Task 2
Some people say that now we can see films on our phones or tablets, and there is no need to go to the cinema. Others say that to be fully enjoyed, films need to be seen in a cinema. Discuss both these views and give your own opinion.
Your response
Write the task yourself, then compare your choices with the annotated response.