Some people say that now we can see films on our phones or tablets, and there is no need to go to the cinema. Others say that to be fully enjoyed, films need to be seen in a cinema. Discuss both these views and give your own opinion.
Sample Response
Technology has revolutionised the way audiences watch movies these days. With the internet, smartphones and tablets, we can now watch movies anywhere and anytime. Some people believe that this is a substitute for going to the cinema. Personally, I think that movie theatres deliver an unparalleled experience as not all movies can be enjoyed on small screens. On the one hand, the advent of smart devices has put the cinema business at stake as it has redefined how people can watch a movie. Recently, many people have begun relying on their smartphones to watch their favourite videos and movies at their convenience. For example, many mobile applications, such as Netflix, provide users access to millions of content at an affordable price, including those that are not shown in theatres. This has given people a good reason to enjoy movies with their family at home. It would be costly and inconvenient if people had to watch those movies in the cinema. On the other hand, theatres give an unmatched experience that viewers can not get while watching movies on a small hand-held screen. For example, in movie theatres, films are projected on a large screen with a high-quality surrounding sound system and a comfortable seat, where spectators can enjoy the film to its fullest. In addition, many cinema providers have recently introduced new theatre concepts to cater to various customer segments and included a wide range of cuisines in their dine-in options. If cinemas cease to exist, movie lovers would be deprived of such an immersive experience. Moreover, watching movies in a theatre is more than enjoying a movie, it is a great way of socialising. To give an example, whenever I watch a movie with my friends, it is more enjoyable due to the social interaction and enjoyment it offers. In conclusion, despite the convenience the smart devices provide for movie-watchers, I strongly believe that theatres still remain an important option, especially for movie-goers, who prefer experience over convenience.
IELTS Writing Correction
- 1. Use natural time phrase Original: anywhere and anytime Suggested revision: anywhere at any time Why it matters: “At any time” is the standard adverbial expression in formal prose.
- 2. Use precise industry wording Original: put the cinema business at stake Suggested revision: threatened the cinema industry Why it matters: The revision expresses the commercial risk more directly and naturally.
- 3. Add required preposition Original: provide users access Suggested revision: provide users with access Why it matters: The verb pattern is “provide someone with something.”
- 4. Use countable content noun Original: content Suggested revision: titles Why it matters: “Content” is uncountable, whereas individual films and programmes can be counted as titles.
- 5. Join modal negative Original: can not Suggested revision: cannot Why it matters: The standard spelling of the negative modal is one word.
- 6. Use industry term Original: providers Suggested revision: operators Why it matters: “Cinema operators” is the natural term for businesses that run cinemas.
- 7. Use natural menu wording Original: included a wide range of cuisines in their dine-in options Suggested revision: added a wide range of cuisines to their dine-in options Why it matters: Items are added “to” a range of options rather than included “in” them in this structure.
- 8. Use concise example marker Original: To give an example Suggested revision: For example Why it matters: This shorter connector introduces the personal example directly.
- 9. Remove redundancy Original: still remain Suggested revision: remain Why it matters: “Remain” already means that something continues to be the case.
- 10. Fix restrictive clause Original: movie-goers, who prefer experience over convenience Suggested revision: moviegoers who prefer experience over convenience Why it matters: The defining relative clause should not have a comma, and “moviegoers” is normally written as one word.
- 11. Use concise time reference Original: these days Suggested revision: today Why it matters: “Today” conveys the current context more concisely.
- 12. Use direct causal wording Original: as not all movies can be enjoyed Suggested revision: because some films cannot be fully enjoyed Why it matters: The positive subject and single negative verb express the reason more directly.
Suggested Rewrites
- anywhere and anytime anywhere at any time
- put the cinema business at stake threatened the cinema industry
- provide users access provide users with access
- content titles
- can not cannot
- providers operators
Why this response received Band 7.0
The essay’s strongest feature is its clear, well-supported preference for cinemas while still explaining the convenience, affordability, and wider content available on smart devices. Its main limitation is organisation: the entire response is presented as one uninterrupted paragraph, and several otherwise ambitious phrases contain collocational or grammatical slips. Prioritise separating the introduction, two views, and conclusion into paragraphs, then proofreading comparisons and cinema-related noun phrases.
IELTS Writing Criteria Scores
Detailed feedback by IELTS writing criterion after the annotated essay.
Task Response
Both views are fully explored with relevant explanations and examples, and the preference for cinemas is explicit and consistently maintained.
Sharpen the final judgement by stating which kinds of films particularly benefit from the cinema experience and why.
Coherence and Cohesion
The argument follows a logical sequence with clear contrasting markers, but the absence of paragraph breaks substantially weakens presentation and progression.
Create separate paragraphs for the introduction, home-viewing case, cinema case, and conclusion.
Lexical Resource
The essay uses a broad and generally effective range for technology and cinema, with occasional awkward combinations such as ‘millions of content’ and ‘surrounding sound system’.
Use precise forms such as ‘a vast range of content’, ‘surround-sound system’, and ‘cinema operators’.
Grammatical Range and Accuracy
A varied range of complex sentences is mostly well controlled, though article, number, modifier, and comma-splice errors occur occasionally.
Correct the comma splice in ‘watching movies in a theatre is more than enjoying a movie, it is…’ and review singular–plural agreement.
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IELTS Writing Task 2
Some people say that now we can see films on our phones or tablets, and there is no need to go to the cinema. Others say that to be fully enjoyed, films need to be seen in a cinema. Discuss both these views and give your own opinion.
Your response
Write the task yourself, then compare your choices with the annotated response.