In the future, we will have more and more leisure time as machines will replace many of the tasks we do at home and work now. Discuss the benefits this will bring and also the problem it will cause.
Sample Response
We live in a modern world where the domination of machines is notable to an extreme extent. A wide variety of machines is already performing numerous tasks in a perfect manner and at an unbelievable speed. The sole aim of the machines is to offer us comfort, and in the future, we will have more leisure hours as machines will do most of our tasks. But this comfort and free time will come at a cost. This essay outlines both the benefits and problems of this. To commence with, machines are meant to ease human activities and in the future, more powerful machines will evolve to do most of our works. Usually, machines are able to perform tasks faster and more accurately than humans, and in the future, they will just do that. So, they will be considered the substitute for humans in many tasks which require arduous labour and physical challenges. At the same time, machines are great multitaskers. For instance, a computer can analyse a massive amount of data in a single second. This is why in the future, machines will be used in production, cleaning, constructions, war, research, and as a result human will have more leisure time. On the contrary, there are some detrimental impacts of machines doing most of our tasks, and this will be severe in the future. Certainly, machines will relieve us from repetitive tasks, but they will create some complexities too. When people will leave manual works, the risks of health disorders will increase. They may get affected with several life-tolling diseases for physical inactivity that they used to do before engaging machines for their comforts. Besides, I believe that machines will also cause severe unemployment in many sectors. When machines will be used for large-scale production in factories, many human labours will be eliminated from those jobs. The dependency on machines would be extreme and due to this a single instance of failure or wrong instruction would bring catastrophic results. To conclude, I think it is imperative to deploy machines in only some specific sectors which are beyond the reach of humans. Further, the increased leisure will make life boring for us, and so we should be engaged in the ordinary tasks to enjoy a happy and healthy life.
IELTS Writing Correction
- 1. Use natural phrasing Original: the domination of machines is notable to an extreme extent Suggested revision: the prevalence of machines is extremely noticeable Why it matters: The original domination and notable to an extent collocations are unidiomatic.
- 2. Use plural agreement Original: is Suggested revision: are Why it matters: When a wide variety of is followed by a plural noun, plural agreement is natural here.
- 3. Use the adverb Original: in a perfect manner Suggested revision: perfectly Why it matters: The single adverb expresses the manner more concisely.
- 4. Use measured wording Original: at an unbelievable speed Suggested revision: at exceptional speed Why it matters: Exceptional is more precise and less exaggerated than unbelievable.
- 5. Avoid assigning intention Original: The sole aim of the machines Suggested revision: The primary purpose of machines Why it matters: Machines do not have aims, so purpose is the appropriate noun.
- 6. Use the standard term Original: hours Suggested revision: time Why it matters: Leisure time is the established expression.
- 7. Clarify the reference Original: benefits and problems of this Suggested revision: benefits and problems this may cause Why it matters: The pronoun this lacks a clear grammatical complement in the original phrase.
- 8. Use a natural linker Original: commence Suggested revision: begin Why it matters: To begin with is the conventional transition in this context.
- 9. Use natural phrasing Original: ease human activities Suggested revision: make human tasks easier Why it matters: Activities are made easier rather than eased in this context.
- 10. Use uncountable work Original: works Suggested revision: work Why it matters: Work is uncountable when referring generally to tasks.
- 11. Match the plural subject Original: the substitute for humans Suggested revision: substitutes for humans Why it matters: The plural subject they requires the plural complement substitutes.
- 12. Name the effort Original: challenges Suggested revision: effort Why it matters: The tasks require effort rather than challenges.
Suggested Rewrites
- the domination of machines is notable to an extreme extent the prevalence of machines is extremely noticeable
- is are
- in a perfect manner perfectly
- at an unbelievable speed at exceptional speed
- The sole aim of the machines The primary purpose of machines
- hours time
Why this response received Band 6.0
The response offers several relevant consequences of greater automation, especially unemployment, inactivity, and dependence on machines, and supports them with clear causal reasoning. Its main limitation is that it explains the efficiency of machines rather than developing the benefits of having more leisure time, while the single-paragraph format weakens navigation; the priority is to address that missing benefit directly and separate benefits from problems in focused paragraphs.
IELTS Writing Criteria Scores
Task Response
The problems are relevant and developed, but the supposed benefit section focuses mostly on machine performance rather than how additional leisure would benefit people.
Explain specific benefits of free time, such as stronger relationships or personal development, and support one with a concrete example.
Coherence and Cohesion
The response moves broadly from benefits to problems and a conclusion, but presenting the entire essay as one paragraph makes that progression difficult to scan.
Use a separate introduction, benefits paragraph, problems paragraph, and conclusion, each led by a precise controlling sentence.
Lexical Resource
The essay uses a reasonably broad vocabulary for automation and its consequences, but frequent awkward combinations reduce naturalness and precision.
Replace phrases such as “do most of our works,” “life-tolling diseases,” and “human labours” with standard collocations.
Grammatical Range and Accuracy
A variety of complex structures conveys the main ideas, though recurring errors in future clauses, countability, agreement, and prepositions limit accuracy.
Use the present simple after “when,” check uncountable nouns such as “work” and “labour,” and simplify overloaded sentences.
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IELTS Writing Task 2
In the future, we will have more and more leisure time as machines will replace many of the tasks we do at home and work now. Discuss the benefits this will bring and also the problem it will cause.
Your response
Write the task yourself, then compare your choices with the annotated response.