In the future, we will have more and more leisure time as machines will replace many of the tasks we do at home and work now. Discuss the benefits this will bring and also the problem it will cause.
Sample Response
We live in a modern world where the prevalence of machines is extremely noticeablethe domination of machines is notable to an extreme extent. A wide variety of machines areis already performing numerous tasks perfectlyin a perfect manner and at exceptional speedat an unbelievable speed. The primary purpose of machinesThe sole aim of the machines is to offer us comfort, and in the future, we will have more leisure timehours as machines will do most of our tasks. But this comfort and free time will come at a cost. This essay outlines both the benefits and problems this may causebenefits and problems of this. To begincommence with, machines are meant to make human tasks easierease human activities and in the future, more powerful machines will evolve to do most of our workworks. Usually, machines are able to perform tasks faster and more accurately than humans, and in the future, they will just do that. So, they will be considered substitutes for humansthe substitute for humans in many tasks which require arduous labour and physical effortchallenges. At the same time, machines are great multitaskers. For instance, a computer can analyse a massive amount of data in a single second. This is why in the future, machines will be used in production, cleaning, construction, warfarecleaning, constructions, war, research, and, as a result, humansand as a result human will have more leisure time. By contrastOn the contrary, there are some harmful effectsdetrimental impacts of machines doing most of our tasks, and this will be severe in the future. Certainly, machines will relieve us offrom repetitive tasks, but they will create some problemscomplexities too. When people leaveWhen people will leave manual workworks, the risks of health disorders will increase. They may get affected with several life-tolling diseases for physical inactivity that they used to do before engaging machines for their comforts. Besides, I believe that machines will also cause severe unemployment in many sectors. When machines will be used for large-scale production in factories, many human labours will be eliminated from those jobs. The dependency on machines would be extreme and due to this a single instance of failure or wrong instruction would bring catastrophic results. To conclude, I think it is imperative to deploy machines in only some specific sectors which are beyond the reach of humans. Further, the increased leisure will make life boring for us, and so we should be engaged in the ordinary tasks to enjoy a happy and healthy life.
Why this response received Band 6.0
The response offers several relevant consequences of greater automation, especially unemployment, inactivity, and dependence on machines, and supports them with clear causal reasoning. Its main limitation is that it explains the efficiency of machines rather than developing the benefits of having more leisure time, while the single-paragraph format weakens navigation; the priority is to address that missing benefit directly and separate benefits from problems in focused paragraphs.
IELTS Writing Criteria Scores
Task Response
The problems are relevant and developed, but the supposed benefit section focuses mostly on machine performance rather than how additional leisure would benefit people.
Explain specific benefits of free time, such as stronger relationships or personal development, and support one with a concrete example.
Coherence and Cohesion
The response moves broadly from benefits to problems and a conclusion, but presenting the entire essay as one paragraph makes that progression difficult to scan.
Use a separate introduction, benefits paragraph, problems paragraph, and conclusion, each led by a precise controlling sentence.
Lexical Resource
The essay uses a reasonably broad vocabulary for automation and its consequences, but frequent awkward combinations reduce naturalness and precision.
Replace phrases such as “do most of our works,” “life-tolling diseases,” and “human labours” with standard collocations.
Grammatical Range and Accuracy
A variety of complex structures conveys the main ideas, though recurring errors in future clauses, countability, agreement, and prepositions limit accuracy.
Use the present simple after “when,” check uncountable nouns such as “work” and “labour,” and simplify overloaded sentences.
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IELTS Writing Task 2
In the future, we will have more and more leisure time as machines will replace many of the tasks we do at home and work now. Discuss the benefits this will bring and also the problem it will cause.
Your response
Write the task yourself, then compare your choices with the annotated response.