In the future, we will have more and more leisure time as machines will replace many of the tasks we do at home and work now. Discuss the benefits this will bring and also the problem it will cause.
Sample Response
It is safe to say that robots and other powerful and intelligent machines will accompany humans even more in the future, and they will perform duties that historically belonged to us. As a result, we will enjoy more time off. To my mind, this evolution has its pros and cons which I aim to analyze in this essay. On the one hand, undeniably people will receive countless benefits when robots take over their usual tasks. With the massive span of free time, people can have many recreational activities that they could not fulfil in the past - like travelling for longer periods of time. This tendency is expected to come along with the development in the service industry that accounts for a high percentage of a country's GDP. Additionally, the workforce is facing contentious problems regarding their mental and physical health, once robots and smart machines come under usage, the workers will no longer be worried about such illness which will reduce the burden on the medical system as well. On the other hand, all the drawbacks of it can not be contained easily, it has been proven by science that humans only survive by working, while they are working on their jobs, their body parts are also working, that is what keeps them healthy and physically controlled. But if our tasks are fully done by robots, we will become lethargic and it is extremely negative for our health. People also find happiness in their jobs, which means if they have too much time relaxing, they might end up feeling bored rather than satisfied. In conclusion, I believe that robots replacing humans in daily tasks can be positive and negative at the same time. Humans should try to balance the amount of robot-completed work with self-completed work in order to terminate all the shortcomings.
IELTS Writing Correction
- 1. Clarify future role Original: accompany humans even more in the future Suggested revision: play an even greater role alongside humans in the future Why it matters: The revised phrase expresses the machines' increased involvement more naturally.
- 2. Use precise wording Original: duties that historically belonged to us Suggested revision: tasks that were historically performed by humans Why it matters: Tasks are 'performed' rather than owned, so this wording is more precise.
- 3. Fix adverb position Original: On the one hand, undeniably people Suggested revision: On the one hand, people will undeniably Why it matters: The adverb belongs after the subject and auxiliary verb in this clause.
- 4. Use natural quantity phrase Original: massive span of free time Suggested revision: large amount of free time Why it matters: Uncountable 'time' is naturally quantified with 'amount'.
- 5. Use activity collocation Original: have many recreational activities Suggested revision: take part in many recreational activities Why it matters: People 'take part in' activities rather than 'have' them in this context.
- 6. Choose suitable verb Original: fulfil Suggested revision: pursue Why it matters: 'Pursue' collocates with activities, while 'fulfil' does not.
- 7. Clarify economic link Original: come along with the development in the service industry Suggested revision: coincide with growth in the service industry Why it matters: The revised collocation clearly describes the two developments occurring together.
- 8. Choose accurate adjective Original: contentious Suggested revision: serious Why it matters: 'Contentious' means disputed, whereas the intended meaning is that the health problems are severe.
- 9. End the first clause Original: health, once Suggested revision: health. Once Why it matters: A full stop prevents two independent clauses from being joined by a comma.
- 10. Use correct idiom Original: come under usage Suggested revision: come into use Why it matters: 'Come into use' is the standard expression for beginning to be used.
- 11. Fix number and clause Original: such illness which will reduce Suggested revision: such illnesses, which will reduce Why it matters: The plural reference fits two types of health problems, and the non-defining clause needs a comma.
- 12. Use concise term Original: medical system as well Suggested revision: healthcare system Why it matters: 'Healthcare system' is the standard term, and 'as well' is redundant here.
Suggested Rewrites
- accompany humans even more in the future play an even greater role alongside humans in the future
- duties that historically belonged to us tasks that were historically performed by humans
- On the one hand, undeniably people On the one hand, people will undeniably
- massive span of free time large amount of free time
- have many recreational activities take part in many recreational activities
- fulfil pursue
Why this response received Band 6.0
The response presents several relevant benefits and problems and maintains a clear overall stance, supported by a fairly broad vocabulary. Its effectiveness is limited by the absence of paragraphing, long comma-linked sentences, and some exaggerated or imprecisely explained claims. The highest-priority improvement is to organise the two sides into separate paragraphs and develop each point through a concise, credible explanation before adding another idea.
IELTS Writing Criteria Scores
Task Response
The response addresses both benefits and problems with several relevant ideas, although some claims are insufficiently explained or overly generalised.
Support each major claim with a credible causal explanation, especially the links to service-sector growth and health-system pressure.
Coherence and Cohesion
The argument follows a recognisable benefits-to-problems sequence, but presenting the entire essay as one paragraph and using comma splices weakens organisation.
Separate the introduction, benefits, problems, and conclusion into logical paragraphs and give each paragraph a clear central focus.
Lexical Resource
A reasonably wide vocabulary conveys nuanced ideas, but several ambitious expressions are imprecise or unnatural in context.
Choose more idiomatic combinations, replacing phrases such as massive span, come under usage, and terminate shortcomings with precise alternatives.
Grammatical Range and Accuracy
There is a varied range of complex structures, but control is inconsistent in long sentences, with recurring comma splices and faulty clause boundaries.
Break long multi-clause sentences into controlled units and check that each independent clause is joined with correct punctuation or conjunctions.
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IELTS Writing Task 2
In the future, we will have more and more leisure time as machines will replace many of the tasks we do at home and work now. Discuss the benefits this will bring and also the problem it will cause.
Your response
Write the task yourself, then compare your choices with the annotated response.