Many believe that the traditional educational system of teachers and students in a classroomwill be replaced by 2050. To what extent do you agree or disagree with this view?
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Sample Response
Education plays an important role in modern society; therefore,society, therefore a scientific education system can significantly benefitimprove students and teachers. In this era, a new point that is the educational system which is teachers and students in the classroomin classroom will be changed by 2050.Although I understand this is an unavoidable trend, traditionaltrend，traditional average classroom-teaching system may not be totally replaced by 2050.
Firstly, I acknowledge the internet is changing the way of education step by step. For example, online schools offerinternet schools give different kinds of subjects which are from famous universities and outstanding teachers. It helps students widen their horizons and enrich knowledge more conveniently.
The primary reason for my stance is that,stance is , although the internet has many advantages in different aspectsitems of education, teaching in the classroom has educational equality in society, so it can't be completely replaced.Most importantly, most students and teachersThe most important is that almost students and teacher are in the traditionaltranditional system which includesinclued primary school,senior high-school and high school. The quality of education can give by different students who are living different family and financial level, then they can enrich knowledge by same textbooks ,exams, and learning equipmentexam,equipment...and so on. By contrast, these educational resources are distributed in a balanced way which can fix the educational divide between nations and regionsnations or areas education levels divide.In my personal view, the traditional system of education is sustainable.
On the other hand, changing the educational system is a slow process; itprocess, it is unpredictable in terms of time and fundingunreliable on time and funding. Traditional education has a long history in our human society . There are many countries that accept this system. If we ruin this system and then build a new one, that means we must need a huge budget . MoreoverMorevoer, even we start right now ,the time that we need build it by two decades,which is too short to be realistic. Especially in some countries where there are lack of development.
In conclusion, while new system probably can bring some innovations inof education, it also can bring many disadvantages to students and teachers.Based on an analysis of the current situation and the potential problems, I am opposed to this viewpoint.
Why this response received Band 5.5
The essay presents a clear position against the total replacement of traditional classrooms, supporting it with relevant arguments regarding practical constraints and educational equality. However, frequent grammatical mistakes and awkward vocabulary choices noticeably weaken the clarity of expression throughout the text. To raise your score, focus on correcting sentence structures and improving word choice accuracy.
IELTS Writing Criteria Scores
Task Response
You present a consistent position on the topic and support your view with relevant main ideas.
Flesh out your main supporting arguments with more specific, fully explained real-world examples.
Coherence and Cohesion
The response maintains an overall clear progression, though some paragraph transitions and cohesive links are slightly mechanical.
Use logical linking words more smoothly and ensure spacing and punctuation between ideas are correct.
Lexical Resource
You demonstrate an adequate range of vocabulary for the topic, but noticeable word choice and collocation errors occur repeatedly.
Focus on learning correct collocations and academic phrasing to express complex ideas accurately.
Grammatical Range and Accuracy
A mix of simple and complex sentences is attempted, but grammatical errors and run-on structures are frequent.
Practice checking clause connections and preposition usage to reduce frequent grammatical inaccuracies.