Some people think that students who do not take a break in studies between the high school and the university are at disadvantage compared to students that travel and work after high school before furthering their education. To what extent do you agree or disagree?
Sample Response
Universities provide lofty education to their students under the supervision of trained professionals. However, they lack in providing practical experience of the subject to students. Some people argue that continuation of studies without break is less fruitful. Students should travel across the world to mitigate their stress and involve themselves into practical work in order to deepen the understanding of the studies they had learnt at universities. I believe that study break is an opportunity for people to enhance their skills by implementing their concept in the real world. Practical experience plays a pivotal role in grasping difficult concepts with ease. By tightening the grip of a subject, one can become a master of it. Therefore, it is an essential part of learning to indulge yourself in a practical field after completing high school studies. It will equally beneficial for your knowledge and pocket. Students without study breaks for travelling or part-time jobs are less likely to perform well in their professional lives. As they do not have practical working knowledge of things that deterrent their growth in the market, gradually they overcome their problem after having exposure to practical working. Moreover, they also lack behind in other qualities such as teamwork, confidence etc. To sum up, I would like to say that learning by doing is the most effective technique that is commonly used by successful people. Therefore, universities should make it mandatory for their students to have practical knowledge of the subject before entering into university. Study without break could cause anxiety and stress and is less effective for young learners.
IELTS Writing Correction
- 1. Use natural collocation Original: lofty education Suggested revision: high-quality education Why it matters: “Lofty” does not naturally describe the quality of university education.
- 2. Correct verb pattern Original: lack in providing Suggested revision: fail to provide Why it matters: “Lack” is not followed by “in” in this structure.
- 3. Add article Original: continuation of studies without break Suggested revision: continuing their studies without a break Why it matters: The singular countable noun “break” needs an article here.
- 4. Correct preposition Original: into Suggested revision: in Why it matters: The verb phrase is “involve oneself in,” not “into.”
- 5. Clarify possession Original: the Suggested revision: their Why it matters: The possessive determiner clearly links the understanding to the students.
- 6. Use precise wording Original: the studies they had learnt Suggested revision: the subjects they had studied Why it matters: People study subjects rather than learn “studies.”
- 7. Add article Original: study break is Suggested revision: a study break is Why it matters: The singular countable phrase “study break” requires an article.
- 8. Use correct noun Original: concept Suggested revision: knowledge Why it matters: “Knowledge” expresses what students apply more naturally than singular “concept.”
- 9. Fix collocation Original: tightening the grip of a subject Suggested revision: strengthening their grasp of a subject Why it matters: The conventional expression is “strengthen one’s grasp of a subject.”
- 10. Use precise expression Original: indulge yourself in a practical field Suggested revision: gain practical experience Why it matters: “Indulge yourself” is inappropriate for participating in practical work.
- 11. Add linking verb Original: It will equally beneficial Suggested revision: It will be equally beneficial Why it matters: The future construction requires “be” before the adjective.
- 12. Avoid unclear idiom Original: pocket Suggested revision: finances Why it matters: “Pocket” is too informal and unclear as a reference to financial benefit.
Suggested Rewrites
- lofty education high-quality education
- lack in providing fail to provide
- continuation of studies without break continuing their studies without a break
- into in
- the their
- the studies they had learnt the subjects they had studied
Why this response received Band 6.0
The response maintains a clear view that a study break offers practical and personal benefits, and its main ideas remain understandable throughout. However, support is repetitive and sometimes logically inconsistent, particularly when it shifts between experience after high school and applying concepts supposedly learned at university. The priority is to organise two distinct, fully explained reasons with specific examples that directly compare gap-year students with those who continue immediately.
IELTS Writing Criteria Scores
Detailed feedback by IELTS writing criterion after the annotated essay.
Task Response
A clear agreement position is sustained, but the supporting ideas are repetitive, general, and occasionally inconsistent with the high-school-to-university context.
Develop two distinct comparative reasons and support each with a concrete example of how a gap year affects later university study or employment.
Coherence and Cohesion
The argument follows a broadly understandable progression, although the single-block presentation and loosely connected claims weaken paragraph-level organisation.
Separate the introduction, main reasons, and conclusion into purposeful paragraphs, with one controlling idea developed logically in each body paragraph.
Lexical Resource
The response uses some varied topic vocabulary, but frequent imprecise collocations and word-choice errors reduce naturalness and precision.
Replace awkward combinations such as “lofty education,” “tightening the grip of a subject,” and “lack behind” with accurate, conventional academic phrasing.
Grammatical Range and Accuracy
A mix of sentence forms conveys the main meaning, but recurring errors in agreement, articles, prepositions, and clause construction reduce control.
Proofread each sentence for complete verb phrases and correct word forms, especially in constructions such as “It will be equally beneficial” and “things that deter their growth.”
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IELTS Writing Task 2
Some people think that students who do not take a break in studies between the high school and the university are at disadvantage compared to students that travel and work after high school before furthering their education. To what extent do you agree or disagree?
Your response
Write the task yourself, then compare your choices with the annotated response.