Some young people look forward to a gap year before they begin work or university and see it as a chance to broaden their horizons. For others, this is expensive and a waste of time. Which viewpoint do you agree with?
Sample Response
(View: It offers the chance to broaden the youngster's horizon) In contemporary times, many young people contemplate taking a gap year to explore the world or gain work experience before embarking on their academic or professional journey. While some view it as an opportunity to broaden their horizons, others consider it an expensive and unproductive idea. In my opinion, taking a gap year can bring significant benefits and is a worthwhile investment for young people.
On the one hand, the idea of taking a gap year can be seen as an unproductive venture as it involves a significant amount of money and time. For instance, the expenses incurred on travelling, accommodation, and other leisure activities during the gap year can be quite exorbitant. Additionally, spending a year without any structured activities may result in a lack of discipline and motivation, which can be detrimental in the long run.
On the other hand, taking a gap year before starting university or work can provide valuable opportunities for personal growth and development. The time spent exploring new cultures, meeting new people, and trying out new things can help young people gain a better understanding of themselves and their place in the world. This experience can lead to improved self-confidence and a broader perspective, which can be highly beneficial in academic and professional pursuits.
Overall, I support the idea of taking a gap year as it provides young people with an opportunity to develop themselves outside the traditional academic or professional structure. Despite the expenses and the potential for unproductivity, a well-planned gap year can result in personal and professional benefits that can last a lifetime.
In conclusion, young people should be encouraged to take a gap year, but they should also be aware of the potential drawbacks and carefully consider their options before making a decision. If this year is used properly, they will reap more benefits.
IELTS Writing Correction
- 1. Remove planning note Original: (View: It offers the chance to broaden the youngster's horizon) Suggested revision: Delete Why it matters: This parenthetical note reads as drafting metadata rather than part of the essay.
- 2. Use concise wording Original: In contemporary times Suggested revision: Today Why it matters: The shorter time expression conveys the same meaning more naturally.
- 3. Name the concern Original: unproductive idea Suggested revision: unproductive use of time Why it matters: The revision states more precisely what critics consider wasteful.
- 4. Avoid inflated wording Original: an unproductive venture Suggested revision: an unproductive choice Why it matters: Choice is more direct and appropriate than venture in this context.
- 5. Correct the collocation Original: expenses incurred on travelling Suggested revision: expenses incurred through travel Why it matters: Expenses are incurred through or from an activity, not incurred on it.
- 6. Remove redundancy Original: quite exorbitant Suggested revision: exorbitant Why it matters: Exorbitant already expresses an excessive degree, so quite is unnecessary.
- 7. Use precise wording Original: trying out new things Suggested revision: trying new activities Why it matters: New activities is more specific and suitably formal for this essay.
- 8. Use natural collocation Original: outside the traditional academic or professional structure Suggested revision: outside traditional academic or professional settings Why it matters: Settings is a more natural noun for the two environments being contrasted.
- 9. Use natural wording Original: the potential for unproductivity Suggested revision: the risk of being unproductive Why it matters: The revised phrase expresses this possible drawback more idiomatically.
- 10. Strengthen the collocation Original: result in personal and professional benefits Suggested revision: provide personal and professional benefits Why it matters: Provide benefits is more direct and natural than result in benefits.
- 11. Clarify the reference Original: If this year is used properly Suggested revision: If a gap year is used productively Why it matters: Naming the gap year removes the vague reference and links the condition clearly to the topic.
Suggested Rewrites
- (View: It offers the chance to broaden the youngster's horizon) Delete
- In contemporary times Today
- unproductive idea unproductive use of time
- an unproductive venture an unproductive choice
- expenses incurred on travelling expenses incurred through travel
- quite exorbitant exorbitant
Why this response received Band 7.5
The essay presents a clear, consistent preference for a well-planned gap year and explains both the potential drawbacks and the personal-development benefits in a fluent, controlled style. The principal limitation is that the support remains broad and hypothetical, while the separate overall and concluding paragraphs repeat substantially the same judgment. The best improvement would be to develop the benefits with one concrete example and consolidate the ending.
IELTS Writing Criteria Scores
Detailed feedback by IELTS writing criterion after the annotated essay.
Task Response
The response answers the choice directly, maintains a clear position, and develops relevant reasons on both viewpoints, though support is mostly general.
Add a specific example showing how a structured gap-year activity produces a lasting academic or professional benefit.
Coherence and Cohesion
Paragraphing and progression are clear, but the sequence of "Overall" and "In conclusion" creates a repetitive two-stage ending.
Combine the final two paragraphs into one concise conclusion that restates the position without repeating earlier points.
Lexical Resource
Vocabulary is flexible, precise, and well suited to the topic, with effective choices such as "exorbitant," "detrimental," and "worthwhile investment."
Further refine lexical precision by replacing broad phrases such as "trying out new things" with language tied to specific gap-year activities.
Grammatical Range and Accuracy
A wide range of complex structures is used accurately and naturally, with only rare minor awkwardness that does not affect clarity.
Maintain this control while varying a few repeated sentence patterns built around modal verbs and "can" constructions.
Write this task while it is fresh
Try the same task now. It helps you remember the feedback and write better next time.
IELTS Writing Task 2
Some young people look forward to a gap year before they begin work or university and see it as a chance to broaden their horizons. For others, this is expensive and a waste of time. Which viewpoint do you agree with?
Your response
Write the task yourself, then compare your choices with the annotated response.