Some young people look forward to a gap year before they begin work or university and see it as a chance to broaden their horizons. For others, this is expensive and a waste of time. Which viewpoint do you agree with?
Sample Response
(View: Support the gap year before starting the university education or a job) Some youngsters consider a gap year the key to enhancing their career prospects, while others think it is a worthless pursuit. I believe that pursuing a gap year can provide worthwhile experiences to juveniles, laying the seeds for a prosperous professional career.
On the one hand, by taking a gap year, youngsters can gain relevant work experiences and key skills which help broaden their view of the world. Working during the deferred years can increase their knowledge and communication skills. Furthermore, experiencing the customs and cultures of other countries help them gain appreciation and awareness of global issues, which put them in leadership positions. Such knowledge is paramount to securing a dream job in the future.
However, if the gap year is used imprudently, it can cost an awful amount of money and time. To add to the ordeal, one can get into debt. One in ten people faces financial ordeals from budget mismanagement according to gap-year tour operators. In my view, that number is negligible when we consider the benefits the travelling and job experience can offer.
In my opinion, hefty expenses should be the least cause for deterring a gap year. The return on investment is high, bringing positive drastic changes to the personality of the youngster. Travelling to other countries solidifies young adults with soft, and hard skills; moulding character and individuality. Facing and circumventing adversity in an unfamiliar country sets a solid foundation for solving problems in life. Such an experience is worth the expense and effort.
In conclusion, there is definitely an edge some young people can attain contrasting to those who consider a gap year an expensive pursuit or a waste of time. However, improper planning can adversely affect personal finances, but accurate gap-year budgets and plans eliminate the risk of debt and the possibility of wasting time.
IELTS Writing Correction
- 1. Remove planning note Original: (View: Support the gap year before starting the university education or a job) Suggested revision: Delete Why it matters: This planning label should not appear in the finished essay.
- 2. Use natural noun Original: juveniles Suggested revision: young people Why it matters: “Young people” is more natural and appropriate in this context.
- 3. Correct collocation Original: seeds Suggested revision: foundations Why it matters: “Lay the foundations for” is the appropriate collocation for establishing a future career.
- 4. Use uncountable noun Original: experiences Suggested revision: experience Why it matters: “Experience” is uncountable when it refers generally to knowledge gained through work.
- 5. Clarify time period Original: during the deferred years Suggested revision: during the gap year Why it matters: “The gap year” names the period directly and avoids the unclear plural phrase.
- 6. Add article Original: gain appreciation Suggested revision: gain an appreciation Why it matters: The singular countable noun “appreciation” requires an article here.
- 7. Use formal wording Original: an awful amount of money Suggested revision: a large amount of money Why it matters: “A large amount” conveys the meaning in a more suitably formal register.
- 8. Use neutral linker Original: To add to the ordeal Suggested revision: Moreover Why it matters: A neutral additive linker fits the progression better than the exaggerated reference to an ordeal.
- 9. Choose precise noun Original: ordeals Suggested revision: difficulties Why it matters: “Financial difficulties” is the natural expression for money problems.
- 10. Fix noun phrase Original: the travelling and job experience Suggested revision: travel and work experience Why it matters: The revised phrase uses natural uncountable nouns and parallel wording.
- 11. Use formal phrase Original: hefty expenses Suggested revision: high costs Why it matters: “High costs” is more concise and natural in formal academic writing.
- 12. Repair expression Original: the least cause for deterring a gap year Suggested revision: the least important reason to avoid a gap year Why it matters: The original combination of “cause,” “deterring,” and “gap year” is not idiomatic.
Suggested Rewrites
- (View: Support the gap year before starting the university education or a job) Delete
- juveniles young people
- seeds foundations
- experiences experience
- during the deferred years during the gap year
- gain appreciation gain an appreciation
Why this response received Band 6.5
The essay maintains a clear preference for taking a well-planned gap year and develops relevant benefits in work experience, cultural exposure, skills, and resilience while acknowledging financial risk. Its strongest feature is the consistent comparison of long-term value with cost; the main limitation is frequent unnatural or overstated wording. The priority is to retain the balanced argument but express each benefit through precise, idiomatic academic language and a more credible supporting example.
IELTS Writing Criteria Scores
Task Response
A clear pro-gap-year position is maintained and relevant benefits and financial risks are developed, although some support is asserted rather than convincingly evidenced.
Replace the unsupported tour-operator statistic with a specific realistic example showing how planned work or travel creates a later academic or career benefit.
Coherence and Cohesion
The essay progresses logically through benefits, financial drawbacks, rebuttal, and conclusion, with focused paragraphs and generally clear linking.
Reduce repeated restatements of expense and value so the rebuttal paragraph advances the argument rather than revisiting earlier points.
Lexical Resource
The response attempts a broad range of vocabulary, but frequent inappropriate or awkward choices such as “juveniles,” “ordeal,” and “solidifies young adults” reduce precision.
Prefer natural academic phrases such as “young adults,” “financial difficulty,” “develops soft and technical skills,” and “offers a competitive advantage.”
Grammatical Range and Accuracy
A mix of simple and complex structures conveys the argument, but recurring agreement, article, preposition, and clause-construction errors limit accuracy.
Check subject-verb agreement and sentence structure in statements about cultural experiences, skills, investment, and the final comparison.
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IELTS Writing Task 2
Some young people look forward to a gap year before they begin work or university and see it as a chance to broaden their horizons. For others, this is expensive and a waste of time. Which viewpoint do you agree with?
Your response
Write the task yourself, then compare your choices with the annotated response.