Many people choose to take a year out between finishing school and starting university in order to gain work or experience to travel. The experience of non-academic life thus offers benefits the individual when they return to education. To what extent you agree or disagree with the statement?
Sample Response
At recent years, it has become a favourable trend for high school’s alumni to take a year break before conducting further study in university. People speculate discussing this topic causing the different notions whether this provides benefits or gives negative impacts. I believe that taking the break will give teenagers positive effects which I will elaborate below.
High school’s graduates are considered as fresh graduates and through travelling or working they will gain beneficial acknowledgements such as other cultures, their own truly passions, and practical working experiences. They can learn how and what other people’s culture and religion beliefs so they will have broader knowledge and more wisdom. Also, through taking a year off, they know what choice to be made relating to specialisation that they will take in the university because of their one year journey and tranquillity. Furthermore, having appropriate experiences will lead young generations to a convenient study in university because they can relate complex theories with real conditions, and as a result, they will achieve good understandings in the learning process.
However, high cost and time waste are undeniable contra-productive arguments. These barriers cause teenagers to spend more expenditure which they cannot afford and teenagers will be less confident because of time waste comparing with their friends who directly continue their study. However, maximum growth in travelling industries such as travel agents, airline corporations, and good offer from local governments to promote their local cultures has reduced the total travel expenses by giving compensations throughout ticket discounts, special offer, etc. Apart from that, they should not feel less confident because what they have learned from their journey can help them to even pass their friends in the classes. It means that stakeholders have to design models to maximise the positive impacts.
To sum up, benefits for youngsters having their break for one year overweigh the threats and this overwhelming trend should be promoted rapidly.
IELTS Writing Correction
- 1. Correct time phrase Original: At Suggested revision: In Why it matters: The standard preposition for this time expression is ‘in’.
- 2. Use the correct noun Original: high school’s alumni Suggested revision: high school graduates Why it matters: ‘Graduates’ is the natural term for people who have completed high school.
- 3. Improve verb choice Original: conducting Suggested revision: pursuing Why it matters: People ‘pursue’ further study rather than ‘conduct’ it.
- 4. Add relative-clause comma Original: positive effects which Suggested revision: positive effects, which Why it matters: The non-defining relative clause needs a preceding comma.
- 5. Remove false possessive Original: school’s Suggested revision: school Why it matters: ‘High school’ functions as a modifier here and should not be possessive.
- 6. Choose the right noun Original: beneficial acknowledgements Suggested revision: valuable knowledge Why it matters: ‘Knowledge’ expresses what learners gain from these experiences.
- 7. Use adjective form Original: truly Suggested revision: true Why it matters: The adjective ‘true’ must modify the noun ‘passions’.
- 8. Use natural collocation Original: practical working experiences Suggested revision: practical work experience Why it matters: ‘Work experience’ is normally uncountable in this general sense.
- 9. Correct question structure Original: what choice to be made Suggested revision: which choice to make Why it matters: The active infinitive is required after the indirect question phrase.
- 10. Use concise phrasing Original: relating to specialisation Suggested revision: regarding the specialisation Why it matters: ‘Regarding’ connects the choice and field of study more naturally.
- 11. Improve verb choice Original: take Suggested revision: pursue Why it matters: Students pursue a specialisation rather than take it.
- 12. Clarify the intended idea Original: and tranquillity Suggested revision: and time for reflection Why it matters: The revision clearly expresses the opportunity to consider a future specialisation.
Suggested Rewrites
- At In
- high school’s alumni high school graduates
- conducting pursuing
- positive effects which positive effects, which
- school’s school
- beneficial acknowledgements valuable knowledge
Why this response received Band 6.0
The response maintains a clear favourable position and offers relevant benefits of a gap year while acknowledging costs and delayed study. Its main limitation is frequent inaccurate grammar and word choice, which makes several otherwise sensible points awkward or imprecise. The highest-priority improvement is to express each idea with simpler, correctly formed sentences and natural collocations before attempting more ambitious vocabulary.
IELTS Writing Criteria Scores
Task Response
The question is addressed with a consistent position, relevant benefits, and some consideration of opposing concerns, although parts of the support are speculative.
Develop fewer benefits more concretely and ensure the final recommendation follows directly from the argument.
Coherence and Cohesion
Ideas are grouped into clear paragraphs and the overall progression is understandable, despite some repetitive linking and loose internal connections.
Organise each body paragraph around one controlling idea and reduce repeated use of connectors such as however.
Lexical Resource
The response attempts a broad vocabulary, but frequent inaccurate collocations and word choices reduce precision and naturalness.
Prioritise accurate common expressions, such as gain practical experience and reduce travel costs, over ambitious but unsuitable terms.
Grammatical Range and Accuracy
A mix of sentence forms is attempted, but frequent errors with articles, plurals, possessives, and clause construction weaken control.
Build reliable complex sentences by checking subject-verb agreement, noun forms, articles, and clause boundaries.
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IELTS Writing Task 2
Many people choose to take a year out between finishing school and starting university in order to gain work or experience to travel. The experience of non-academic life thus offers benefits the individual when they return to education. To what extent you agree or disagree with the statement?
Your response
Write the task yourself, then compare your choices with the annotated response.