In some schools and universities, girls tend to choose arts subjects (e.g. literature, history), and boys tend to choose science subjects (e.g. physics, mathematics). Why do you think this is so? Should this tendency be changed?
Sample Response
In many academic institutions, gender-based segregation in the selection of academic subjects is a pervasive issue. Girls often gravitate towards arts and humanities courses, such as literature and history, while boys tend to choose science and technology majors like physics, chemistry, engineering and mathematics. There are several reasons why this trend persists, and it is crucial to explore the root cause for such inclinations because it should be changed.
One reason why girls prefer humanities over science and technology subjects may be due to societal expectations and gender stereotyping. From a young age, girls are often encouraged to develop social and emotional skills, while boys are encouraged to cultivate intellectual and analytical abilities. As a result, girls may feel less confident in science and technology fields, believing that these subjects are too challenging for them. On the other hand, boys may feel that arts subjects are not masculine enough and may hesitate to choose them.
Another reason for gender segregation in academic subjects is the absence of female representation in Science, Technology, Engineering and Mathematics (STEM) fields. Women are underrepresented in many science and technology professions, which discourages girls from pursuing these careers. They may believe that the sector is not suitable for them or that they will encounter sexism or discrimination.
The tendency to choose specific academic subjects based on gender is detrimental to students as well as society. It can limit learners' academic opportunities and future career options. This is why the tendency needs to be changed and students should have access to all subjects regardless of gender, and educators should ensure that they provide an inclusive learning environment.
In conclusion, the segregation of academic subjects based on gender is a complex issue that requires attention from both society and education providers. While there may be several reasons why this trend exists, it is essential to recognize the drawbacks and strive for inclusivity. Encouraging students to choose subjects based on their interests and aptitudes rather than gender will foster a more equitable and diverse society.
IELTS Writing Correction
- 1. Use accurate course wording Original: science and technology majors like physics, chemistry, engineering and mathematics Suggested revision: science and technology subjects such as physics, chemistry, engineering and mathematics Why it matters: ‘Subjects’ fits both schools and universities, while ‘majors’ applies only to higher education.
- 2. Use plural causes Original: the root cause for such inclinations Suggested revision: the root causes of this pattern Why it matters: The essay identifies several causes, and ‘causes of’ is the natural collocation.
- 3. Remove double causation Original: One reason why girls prefer humanities over science and technology subjects may be due to Suggested revision: Girls may prefer humanities to science and technology subjects partly because of Why it matters: The original combines ‘reason why’ with ‘due to’, creating a redundant causal construction.
- 4. Use natural wording Original: absence Suggested revision: lack Why it matters: ‘Lack of representation’ is the standard concise expression in this context.
- 5. Match the plural fields Original: the sector is not suitable for them Suggested revision: these fields are not suitable for them Why it matters: The plural science and technology fields require a plural reference and verb.
- 6. Use concise terminology Original: gender segregation in academic subjects Suggested revision: gendered subject choice Why it matters: The concise phrase accurately describes the selection pattern under discussion.
- 7. Use balanced coordination Original: detrimental to students as well as society Suggested revision: detrimental to both students and society Why it matters: The paired ‘both...and’ structure states the two affected groups more clearly.
- 8. Keep British spelling Original: recognize Suggested revision: recognise Why it matters: ‘Recognise’ is consistent with the British usage elsewhere in the response.
- 9. Sentence rewrite Original: There are several reasons why this trend persists, and it is crucial to explore the root cause for such inclinations because it should be changed. Suggested revision: Several factors sustain this trend, and examining them helps explain why the pattern should change. Why it matters: The rewrite removes the unclear pronoun and resolves the contradiction between ‘several reasons’ and one ‘root cause’.
- 10. Sentence rewrite Original: This is why the tendency needs to be changed and students should have access to all subjects regardless of gender, and educators should ensure that they provide an inclusive learning environment. Suggested revision: This tendency should change: students should have access to all subjects regardless of gender, and educators should provide an inclusive learning environment. Why it matters: The rewrite corrects the overloaded coordination and removes the vague pronoun ‘they’.
Suggested Rewrites
- science and technology majors like physics, chemistry, engineering and mathematics science and technology subjects such as physics, chemistry, engineering and mathematics
- the root cause for such inclinations the root causes of this pattern
- One reason why girls prefer humanities over science and technology subjects may be due to Girls may prefer humanities to science and technology subjects partly because of
- absence lack
- the sector is not suitable for them these fields are not suitable for them
- gender segregation in academic subjects gendered subject choice
Why this response received Band 8.0
The essay fully addresses both questions, explaining gendered subject choices through social stereotypes and limited female representation before arguing clearly for change. Its strongest quality is the logical development from causes to educational and social consequences; the main limitation is that the proposed response is relatively brief. The priority is to add one concrete mechanism, such as mentoring or curriculum reform, showing how institutions could broaden students' choices.
IELTS Writing Criteria Scores
Task Response
Both questions are fully answered through well-developed causes, a clear position for change and relevant discussion of consequences.
Develop the proposed change with one concrete institutional action and explain how it would counter stereotypes or improve representation.
Coherence and Cohesion
Ideas progress clearly from the trend to two causes, its harms, the need for change and a focused conclusion.
Keep the strong paragraph sequence while making the transition into the solutions paragraph slightly more explicit.
Lexical Resource
A wide and precise academic vocabulary is used effectively to discuss stereotyping, representation, discrimination and inclusivity.
Refine minor imprecision such as singular "root cause" when referring to several contributing factors.
Grammatical Range and Accuracy
A wide range of complex structures is used accurately and flexibly, with only occasional minor awkwardness.
Tighten the long coordinated sentence in the fourth paragraph to avoid repeated conjunctions and maximise clarity.
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IELTS Writing Task 2
In some schools and universities, girls tend to choose arts subjects (e.g. literature, history), and boys tend to choose science subjects (e.g. physics, mathematics). Why do you think this is so? Should this tendency be changed?
Your response
Write the task yourself, then compare your choices with the annotated response.