In some schools and universities, girls tend to choose arts subjects (e.g. literature, history), and boys tend to choose science subjects (e.g. physics, mathematics). Why do you think this is so? Should this tendency be changed?
Sample Response
According to traditional belief, men are the breadwinners while females are caregivers and responsible for taking care of the family. This belief, along with some old-fashioned views like boys are good at mathematics while females are not, is the primary reason for many parents to encourage their sons to study science while daughters are in art-related subjects. I wholeheartedly believe that this trend should change.
To begin with, it is generally believed that boys are good at science-related subjects. This view is rooted so deeply in our society that many females have already accepted it. This is more prevalent in developing countries where parents expect their sons to have a career while daughters become moderately educated and finally get married and have a family. Strangely, studying science majors requires more money in most countries, and this is why parents naturally select their boys to study science. Females, on the other hand, need to take many responsibilities of the family, even during their academic life and prefer to have subjects that do not require a great deal of group work, lab and practical classes.
Men and women have similar capacities and potentials. Given equal opportunity, many women would excel in science-related subjects. Great scientists like Marie Curie, Ada Lovelace, and Emilie du Chatelet have proved that women are no less capable than men when it comes to science. The egregious trend of gender discrimination, even in the education sector, should stop. The good news is that women in many engineering and technology subjects are already occupying half of the seats in many prestigious universities. Thus the day is not far away when the social custom or emotional aversion of parents would accept that their daughters are just as talented as their sons are in any area, including science.
To conclude, women-empowerment is quite an essential factor for the overall development of a nation, and that is why females should get a fair chance to participate in any subjects, including science majors, in schools, colleges and universities. This trend would bring more positive outcomes and make society unprejudiced and prosperous.
IELTS Writing Correction
- 1. Complete the comparison Original: views like boys are good at mathematics while females are not Suggested revision: views such as the belief that boys are good at mathematics while women are not Why it matters: The original phrase needs a noun clause after “views such as” to express the belief grammatically.
- 2. Use a natural collocation Original: while daughters are in art-related subjects Suggested revision: while steering their daughters towards arts subjects Why it matters: People study or choose subjects; they are not normally described as being “in” subjects.
- 3. Improve word order Original: is rooted so deeply Suggested revision: is so deeply rooted Why it matters: Placing the degree adverb before the participle gives the more natural English word order.
- 4. Clarify education level Original: daughters become moderately educated Suggested revision: daughters receive only a basic education Why it matters: “Moderately educated” is imprecise here, while the revision clearly preserves the contrast with pursuing a career.
- 5. Fix the collocation Original: studying Suggested revision: pursuing Why it matters: Students pursue or major in a subject rather than study a major.
- 6. Choose natural wording Original: select their boys to study science Suggested revision: choose science education for their sons Why it matters: “Select their boys” is not a natural way to describe parents’ educational choices.
- 7. Add the phrasal verb Original: take many responsibilities of the family Suggested revision: take on many family responsibilities Why it matters: The correct expression is “take on responsibilities,” and “family responsibilities” is the natural noun phrase.
- 8. Match the plural subject Original: life Suggested revision: lives Why it matters: The plural group “females” requires the plural noun “lives” when referring to their separate lives.
- 9. Use uncountable nouns Original: capacities and potentials Suggested revision: capacity and potential Why it matters: When referring generally to human ability, “capacity” and “potential” are more naturally uncountable.
- 10. Use a logical transition Original: Strangely Suggested revision: From a financial perspective Why it matters: The revision shows how the sentence adds an economic reason rather than expressing the writer’s surprise.
- 11. Show cause and effect Original: naturally Suggested revision: therefore Why it matters: “Therefore” makes the claimed causal link to the higher cost explicit, while “naturally” presents it as inevitable.
- 12. Use the correct verb Original: have Suggested revision: study Why it matters: Students study or choose subjects rather than “have” them.
Suggested Rewrites
- views like boys are good at mathematics while females are not views such as the belief that boys are good at mathematics while women are not
- while daughters are in art-related subjects while steering their daughters towards arts subjects
- is rooted so deeply is so deeply rooted
- daughters become moderately educated daughters receive only a basic education
- studying pursuing
- select their boys to study science choose science education for their sons
Why this response received Band 7.0
The response’s strongest feature is its clear position, supported by relevant discussion of social expectations and women’s capability in science. Its main limitation is that several causal claims are broad or only loosely substantiated, while some awkward phrasing reduces precision. The highest-priority improvement is to develop the reasons with more specific causal explanation and express them in more natural, accurately controlled sentences.
IELTS Writing Criteria Scores
Task Response
The response answers both questions clearly and develops relevant reasons and a consistent case for changing the tendency.
Support broad claims about costs, family duties, and university participation with more precise explanation or evidence.
Coherence and Cohesion
Ideas progress logically through causes, capability, and conclusion, with clear paragraphing and generally effective linking.
Strengthen the transition between the explanation of causes and the argument for change so the line of reasoning feels more unified.
Lexical Resource
A varied vocabulary conveys the argument effectively, although several collocations and word choices are awkward or imprecise.
Use more natural combinations such as choosing science majors, assuming family responsibilities, and parental attitudes.
Grammatical Range and Accuracy
A good range of complex structures is used with generally clear control, despite occasional agreement, parallelism, and sentence-construction errors.
Check long sentences for logical subjects, consistent verb forms, and complete parallel structures.
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IELTS Writing Task 2
In some schools and universities, girls tend to choose arts subjects (e.g. literature, history), and boys tend to choose science subjects (e.g. physics, mathematics). Why do you think this is so? Should this tendency be changed?
Your response
Write the task yourself, then compare your choices with the annotated response.