In some schools and universities, girls tend to choose arts subjects (e.g. literature, history), and boys tend to choose science subjects (e.g. physics, mathematics). Why do you think this is so? Should this tendency be changed?
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Sample Response
According to traditional belief, men are the breadwinners while females are caregivers and responsible for taking care of the family. This belief, along with some old-fashioned views such as the belief that boys are good at mathematics while women are notviews like boys are good at mathematics while females are not, is the primary reason for many parents to encourage their sons to study science while steering their daughters towards arts subjectswhile daughters are in art-related subjects. I wholeheartedly believe that this trend should change.
To begin with, it is generally believed that boys are good at science-related subjects. This view is so deeply rootedis rooted so deeply in our society that many females have already accepted it. This is more prevalent in developing countries where parents expect their sons to have a career while daughters receive only a basic educationdaughters become moderately educated and finally get married and have a family. From a financial perspectiveStrangely, pursuingstudying science majors requires more money in most countries, and this is why parents thereforenaturally choose science education for their sonsselect their boys to study science. Females, on the other hand, need to take on many family responsibilitiestake many responsibilities of the family, even during their academic liveslife and prefer to studyhave subjects that do not require extensive group work, laboratory sessions, and practical classesa great deal of group work, lab and practical classes.
Men and women have similar capacity and potentialcapacities and potentials. Given equal opportunity, many women would excel in science-related subjects. Great scientists such asGreat scientists like Marie Curie, Ada Lovelace, and Emilie du Chatelet have proved that women are no less capable than men when it comes to science. The egregious trend of gender discrimination, even in the education sector, should stop. The good news is that women in many engineering and technology subjects are already occupying half of the seats in many prestigious universities. Thus the day is not far away when the social custom or emotional aversion of parents would accept that their daughters are just as talented as their sons are in any area, including science.
To conclude, women-empowerment is quite an essential factor for the overall development of a nation, and that is why females should get a fair chance to study any subjectparticipate in any subjects, including science majors, in schools, colleges and universities. This changetrend would bring more positive outcomes and make society unprejudiced and prosperous.
Why this response received Band 7.0
The response’s strongest feature is its clear position, supported by relevant discussion of social expectations and women’s capability in science. Its main limitation is that several causal claims are broad or only loosely substantiated, while some awkward phrasing reduces precision. The highest-priority improvement is to develop the reasons with more specific causal explanation and express them in more natural, accurately controlled sentences.
IELTS Writing Criteria Scores
Task Response
The response answers both questions clearly and develops relevant reasons and a consistent case for changing the tendency.
Support broad claims about costs, family duties, and university participation with more precise explanation or evidence.
Coherence and Cohesion
Ideas progress logically through causes, capability, and conclusion, with clear paragraphing and generally effective linking.
Strengthen the transition between the explanation of causes and the argument for change so the line of reasoning feels more unified.
Lexical Resource
A varied vocabulary conveys the argument effectively, although several collocations and word choices are awkward or imprecise.
Use more natural combinations such as choosing science majors, assuming family responsibilities, and parental attitudes.
Grammatical Range and Accuracy
A good range of complex structures is used with generally clear control, despite occasional agreement, parallelism, and sentence-construction errors.
Check long sentences for logical subjects, consistent verb forms, and complete parallel structures.