A gift (such as a camera, a soccer ball, or an animal) can contribute to a child’s development. What gift would you give to help a child develop? Why? Use specific reasons and examples to support your choice.
Sample Response
During first few years of life, children are greatly influenced by their surroundings, attitude or parents and things they play with. During development ages for a child, his/her mental capabilities and physical growth relies on the way s/he utilises it. In my opinion, sports related gifts will be important for children as they would help them to grow their interest in sports and that might bring out potential talents they might have on sports. In terms of relation building, gifts are always helpful.
Before taking the decision to present something to children, one must consider the age, liking and disliking, health hazards, durability and cost of a gift. Children love to play physical sports and enjoy the taste of contact with their beloved ones. By playing football kids will get their muscles developed. It will increase their stamina for walking and running. By playing with children of same age group, they will get these sweet memories imprinted in their mind. From these senses, giving sports materials to kids has many benefits. Similarly, kids like to explore new things and thus grow their interest. A gift like a camera might bring out a potential photographer for the future.
Sometimes wrong choices of gifts can cause physical injuries and in some other cases, kids might not use it due to lack of interest in that particular object. Few people present very costly stuff to the growing age group and they don’t appreciate these valuables, simply they misuse it and there will be a waste of money.
Giving a small bird or a pet would help them to get close to them and thus it would help them to develop a better understanding of the world and other creatures. Sometimes they require taking care of their pets and they learn this great quality of life. Personally, I would like to give a pet to a child as it would help them in many ways including knowing about this species, getting closer to that pet, taking care of it, and exploring many new activities that would help them better develop as a human.
In short, every incidence, contact and story produce some impacts on the personality of a growing child. So the choice of gifts must be very meticulous and useful. Sports item are by and large harmless and produce positive effects in human development while a pet as a gift can help them explore new things and learn how to take care of others.
IELTS Writing Correction
- 1. Hyphenate compound modifier Original: sports related gifts Suggested revision: sports-related gifts Why it matters: A compound modifier before a noun should be hyphenated.
- 2. Develop an interest Original: help them to grow their interest in sports Suggested revision: help them develop an interest in sports Why it matters: Develop an interest is the natural collocation.
- 3. Use sporting talents Original: potential talents they might have on sports Suggested revision: potential sporting talents Why it matters: Sporting talents expresses ability in sports concisely and naturally.
- 4. Use relationship building Original: relation Suggested revision: relationship Why it matters: Relationship building is the conventional phrase for developing interpersonal bonds.
- 5. Use concise verb Original: taking the decision Suggested revision: deciding Why it matters: The verb deciding is more concise than the heavy noun phrase.
- 6. Use likes and dislikes Original: liking and disliking Suggested revision: likes and dislikes Why it matters: Likes and dislikes is the standard noun phrase for preferences.
- 7. Clarify social contact Original: taste of contact with their beloved ones Suggested revision: experience of spending time with their loved ones Why it matters: The original phrase uses taste and beloved ones unnaturally for personal contact.
- 8. Add introductory comma Original: By playing football kids Suggested revision: By playing football, kids Why it matters: A comma should separate the introductory phrase from the main clause.
- 9. Use active construction Original: get their muscles developed Suggested revision: develop their muscles Why it matters: The active construction directly expresses the physical benefit.
- 10. Add definite article Original: children of same age group Suggested revision: children of the same age Why it matters: The fixed comparison requires the definite article before same.
- 11. Use plural minds Original: mind Suggested revision: minds Why it matters: The plural possessive subject requires a plural noun in this distributive meaning.
- 12. Use sports equipment Original: materials Suggested revision: equipment Why it matters: Sports equipment is the standard term for items used to play sports.
Suggested Rewrites
- sports related gifts sports-related gifts
- help them to grow their interest in sports help them develop an interest in sports
- potential talents they might have on sports potential sporting talents
- relation relationship
- taking the decision deciding
- liking and disliking likes and dislikes
Why this response received Band 6.0
The essay offers relevant ideas about how sports equipment, cameras, and pets can support physical, creative, and emotional development, with the pet section providing the clearest personal choice. Its main limitation is that the response initially recommends sports gifts and spends substantial space on alternatives before choosing a pet, so the central answer lacks focus; frequent awkward phrasing also reduces clarity. The priority is to select one gift from the outset and develop two precise benefits with examples.
IELTS Writing Criteria Scores
Task Response
The response supplies several relevant developmental benefits, but the chosen gift shifts from sports equipment to a pet and much of the discussion is not focused on the final choice.
Name one gift in the introduction and develop two specific ways it would help a child, supported by a concrete example for each.
Coherence and Cohesion
The response uses clear paragraphs and generally logical sequencing, but movement among sports, cameras, unsuitable gifts, and pets weakens overall unity.
Remove alternative-gift sections and organise the body around two distinct benefits of the single selected gift.
Lexical Resource
Vocabulary is sufficiently varied for development, play, safety, and responsibility, but many word choices and collocations are inaccurate or unnatural.
Use natural phrases such as 'develop an interest in sport', 'build physical strength', 'choose an age-appropriate gift', and 'learn responsibility'.
Grammatical Range and Accuracy
The response attempts varied structures, but frequent errors in agreement, articles, pronoun reference, plurals, and clause construction reduce accuracy.
Maintain consistent singular or plural references to the child and check subject-verb agreement throughout each paragraph.
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IELTS Writing Task 2
A gift (such as a camera, a soccer ball, or an animal) can contribute to a child’s development. What gift would you give to help a child develop? Why? Use specific reasons and examples to support your choice.
Your response
Write the task yourself, then compare your choices with the annotated response.