Some people believe that the rapid increase in population these days is unsustainable and will eventually lead to a global crisis. Others believe that the world population increase is necessary and beneficial as it creates the growth of the world’s economy and society. Discuss both these views and give your opinion.
Same question Compare all 2 answers See different approaches and band scores for this IELTS task.Sample Response
The global population is growing at an unprecedented rate, and people have contrasting views about its impact on society and the economy. While some believe that a rapidly growing global population is beneficial for economic and social development, others argue that such growth is unsustainable and could lead to catastrophic consequences. In my opinion, population growth could be beneficial if we can ensure sustainable population management and responsible consumption of resources.
Opponents of a growing global population point out that it puts a significant strain on natural resources and the environment. The demand for food, water, and energy increases with more people, leading to overconsumption of natural resources, environmental degradation, deforestation, and loss of biodiversity. This poses a significant challenge to future generations and can lead to social and economic instability. Additionally, a rapidly growing population can put immense pressure on public services such as healthcare, education, and transportation.
On the contrary, one of the arguments put forward by proponents of a growing global population is that it can lead to a larger workforce, which can drive economic growth. With an increase in population, the demand for goods and services also rises, leading to new job opportunities and higher standards of living. Take China for an example whose economic and social transformation was large possible for its growing population.
In my opinion, it is palpable that population growth can be beneficial for the future, and it is crucial to have a growing population for the economic, social and related other developments in the future. However, we must understand that sustainable population management and responsible consumption of natural resources are necessary to ensure a healthy and prosperous future.
To conclude, there are many potential benefits to a growing global population, but we must consider how to preserve natural resources and keep the environment green. For that, it is necessary to adopt a sustainable approach to population management to avoid a disastrous future.
IELTS Writing Correction
- 1. Use natural collocation Original: responsible consumption of resources Suggested revision: responsible resource use Why it matters: This collocation expresses careful use of resources more naturally and concisely.
- 2. Improve precision Original: Opponents of a growing global population Suggested revision: Opponents of rapid population growth Why it matters: The revision names the process being opposed more precisely.
- 3. Clarify the relationship Original: with more people Suggested revision: as the population grows Why it matters: This wording states the cause-and-effect relationship more directly.
- 4. Use contrast linker Original: On the contrary Suggested revision: By contrast Why it matters: The paragraph introduces the opposing view rather than directly refuting the previous statement.
- 5. Clarify pronoun reference Original: it can lead to a larger workforce Suggested revision: population growth can lead to a larger workforce Why it matters: Naming the subject removes ambiguity about what produces the larger workforce.
- 6. Use concise wording Original: With an increase in population Suggested revision: As the population increases Why it matters: The revision presents the relationship more directly and naturally.
- 7. Use formal wording Original: keep the environment green Suggested revision: protect the environment Why it matters: This is a more precise academic expression for environmental preservation.
- 8. Clarify the reference Original: For that Suggested revision: To achieve this Why it matters: The revision clearly links the required approach to the preceding aim.
- 9. Choose precise noun Original: a disastrous future Suggested revision: disastrous consequences Why it matters: The argument concerns harmful outcomes rather than describing the future itself.
- 10. Sentence rewrite Original: Take China for an example whose economic and social transformation was large possible for its growing population. Suggested revision: Take China, for example: its economic and social transformation was largely possible because of its growing population. Why it matters: The rewrite corrects the example phrase, adverb form, and causal construction.
- 11. Sentence rewrite Original: In my opinion, it is palpable that population growth can be beneficial for the future, and it is crucial to have a growing population for the economic, social and related other developments in the future. Suggested revision: In my opinion, it is clear that population growth can be beneficial in the future and is crucial for economic, social, and related development. Why it matters: The rewrite removes awkward word order and repetition while preserving the original claim.
- 12. Strengthen the closing link Suggested revision: After the China example, reconnect it to the paragraph's workforce-and-demand argument to create a clearer closing link. Why it matters: The paragraph ends on an example without fully tying it back to its two preceding claims.
Suggested Rewrites
- responsible consumption of resources responsible resource use
- Opponents of a growing global population Opponents of rapid population growth
- with more people as the population grows
- On the contrary By contrast
- it can lead to a larger workforce population growth can lead to a larger workforce
- With an increase in population As the population increases
Why this response received Band 7.0
The response is strongest in its clear conditional position and logical discussion of both perspectives, with the risks of population growth explained particularly effectively. Its main limitation is that the pro-growth case is less fully developed and relies on a vague, linguistically flawed example. The highest-priority improvement is to extend that argument with a precise, well-explained example showing how population growth produces specific economic or social benefits.
IELTS Writing Criteria Scores
Detailed feedback by IELTS writing criterion after the annotated essay.
Task Response
The response addresses both views, maintains a clear qualified opinion, and develops the sustainability case more fully than the economic-benefit case.
Develop the supporting view with a specific, accurately explained example rather than a brief general claim about China.
Coherence and Cohesion
Ideas progress logically through clearly focused paragraphs, although the separate opinion paragraph repeats points already established in the introduction and body.
Integrate the qualified opinion into the two discussion paragraphs and use the final paragraph only to synthesize the argument.
Lexical Resource
A good range of topic vocabulary conveys the argument clearly, but several imprecise collocations and word choices reduce naturalness.
Replace awkward phrases such as 'large possible' and 'related other developments' with precise, idiomatic wording.
Grammatical Range and Accuracy
The response uses varied complex structures with generally strong control, despite a few conspicuous errors in the China example and opinion paragraph.
Check complex noun phrases and relative clauses carefully so that examples remain grammatically complete and easy to follow.
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IELTS Writing Task 2
Some people believe that the rapid increase in population these days is unsustainable and will eventually lead to a global crisis. Others believe that the world population increase is necessary and beneficial as it creates the growth of the world’s economy and society. Discuss both these views and give your opinion.
Your response
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