Band 6.0 IELTS Writing Task 2 Correction

Global warming is one of the most serious issues that the world is facing today. What are the causes of global warming and what measures can governments and individuals take to tackle the issue?

Sample Response

Global warming is a serious worldwide problem that arises as an effect of gases like Carbon Dioxide traps the heat from the sun causing the rise in the global temperature, this process is known as greenhouse effects which have many causes believed to be a human effect. There are many different measures that could be taken to tackle this pressing matter.

The main causes of global warming are due to human activities such as deforestation, building factories, driving more cars, increasing numbers of aeroplanes etc. Human usage many fuels and fossils and these all lead to the production of gases and hence rising in global temperature, also the greatest increase in the number of the population leading to a great decline in natural resources. Moreover the over-cutting of trees and destruction of wild life habitats which will lead to animal extinction at the end, this all are causes of global warming.

Global warming has serious effects on the environment which are increasing of sea level and arising of floods and droughts, melting of polar ice cap which in turn leads to extreme weather conditions.

There are some solutions that governments and individuals should take in order to prevent and put an end to this problem; firstly to put limitations for energy consumption by factories and implementation of other renewable sources of energy such as solar energy and water power. Also, governments should organise some campaigns that would promote waste recycling, put rules to protect wild life, and encourage the growing of more and more trees. Furthermore, governments and individuals could decrease the energy consumption by decreasing the number of flights, using public transport to decrease using of cars. Eco-friendly transportation like Bicycle should be used and the number of private cars should be decreased.

As a summary global warming is a serious worldwide issue that arises from human activities which need the participation of both the governments and the individuals to be ended.

IELTS Writing Correction

  • 1. Subject-verb agreement Original: gases like Carbon Dioxide traps Suggested revision: gases like carbon dioxide trap Why it matters: The plural subject gases needs the plural verb trap, and carbon dioxide should not be capitalised here.
  • 2. Singular term Original: greenhouse effects Suggested revision: the greenhouse effect Why it matters: The standard term is singular.
  • 3. Clarify cause Original: believed to be a human effect Suggested revision: believed to be caused by human activity Why it matters: The original phrase is unclear.
  • 4. Avoid redundancy Original: The main causes of global warming are due to Suggested revision: The main causes of global warming are Why it matters: Causes are due to is redundant.
  • 5. Wrong phrase Original: Human usage many fuels and fossils Suggested revision: Human use of fossil fuels Why it matters: This is the correct environmental collocation.
  • 6. Fix noun phrase Original: hence rising in global temperature Suggested revision: hence a rise in global temperature Why it matters: The phrase needs an article and noun form.
  • 7. Natural phrase Original: the number of the population Suggested revision: the population Why it matters: The number of the population is awkward and redundant.
  • 8. Agreement Original: this all are causes Suggested revision: these are all causes Why it matters: Use plural demonstrative and correct word order.
  • 9. Correct collocation Original: increasing of sea level Suggested revision: rising sea levels Why it matters: This is the natural phrase.
  • 10. Natural wording Original: arising of floods and droughts Suggested revision: an increase in floods and droughts Why it matters: Arising of is not natural here.
  • 11. Add article Original: implementation of other renewable sources Suggested revision: the implementation of renewable sources Why it matters: The noun phrase needs an article.
  • 12. Use standard term Original: water power Suggested revision: hydropower Why it matters: Hydropower is the common term for energy from water.

Suggested Rewrites

  • gases like Carbon Dioxide traps gases like carbon dioxide trap
  • greenhouse effects the greenhouse effect
  • believed to be a human effect believed to be caused by human activity
  • The main causes of global warming are due to The main causes of global warming are
  • Human usage many fuels and fossils Human use of fossil fuels
  • hence rising in global temperature hence a rise in global temperature
Band score breakdown

IELTS Writing Criteria Scores

Detailed feedback by IELTS writing criterion after the annotated essay.

TR

Task Response

6.5
Feedback

The essay addresses causes of global warming and measures by governments and individuals, with relevant points about fossil fuels, deforestation, factories, transport, renewable energy, recycling, and public transport. Development is sometimes broad, and the effects paragraph is less directly required by the task.

Next step

Focus the body on two causes and two matching solutions, and make the government-versus-individual responsibilities clearer.

CC

Coherence and Cohesion

6.0
Feedback

The response is organised into introduction, causes, effects, solutions, and conclusion. Progression is generally understandable, but long sentences, repeated lists, and weak transitions reduce clarity.

Next step

Use shorter topic sentences and avoid placing too many causes or solutions in one sentence.

LR

Lexical Resource

5.5
Feedback

Topic vocabulary is adequate, but there are frequent inaccurate word forms and collocations, such as greenhouse effects, fuels and fossils, arising of floods, and decrease using of cars.

Next step

Use accurate environmental collocations: greenhouse effect, fossil fuels, rising sea levels, renewable energy, wildlife habitats, and reduce car use.

GRA

Grammatical Range and Accuracy

5.5
Feedback

Frequent errors with agreement, sentence boundaries, articles, and verb forms limit grammatical control. Meaning remains mostly clear, but several sentences are run-ons.

Next step

Break run-on sentences and check subject-verb agreement, especially gases trap, activities cause, and governments should.