The government should allocate more funding to teaching science rather than other subjects in order for a country to develop and progress. To what extent do you agree?
Sample Response
How to allocate government’s expenditure has long been a highly charged issue. While 1 accept that there should be an increase in state funds for imparting science-related knowledge, 1 would argue that other subjects are of similar significance in the progression of a nation.
On the one hand, placing a premium on science subjects like mathematics and physics is conducive to the growth of a nation. It stands to reason that the more researchers or engineers a country has, the greater is their contribution to the prosperity of a society. To illustrate, with billions of dollars spent for scientific researches and relevant leaching activities, America has accomplished a number of breakthroughs in road networks, biotechnology and space exploration. Therefore, it is safe to conclude that stressing the role of science subjects in the education system would have a far-reaching long-term impact on a nation.
On the other hand, I believe that liberal arts education including literature and law has an equally important role to play in the sustainable growth of a nation. It is widely acknowledged that a society characterized by citizens well-cultivated and knowledgeable in literature or arts tend to enjoy a higher moral standard and social stability. Specifically, law-abiding and productive citizens tend to adopt decent code of conduct and commit fewer crimes, leading to better social security and improved living standards. As an expected outcome, government funding on social sciences would help individuals alter their intrinsic values and do their utmost to become productive members of society.
IELTS Writing Correction
- 1. Correct character error Original: 1 Suggested revision: I Why it matters: The numeral has been used in place of the first-person pronoun.
- 2. Correct character error Original: 1 Suggested revision: I Why it matters: The numeral should be replaced with the pronoun 'I'.
- 3. State comparison directly Original: similar Suggested revision: equal Why it matters: 'Equal significance' conveys the intended comparison more directly.
- 4. Fix comparative order Original: the greater is their contribution Suggested revision: the greater their contribution is Why it matters: The correlative comparative requires normal subject-verb order in this clause.
- 5. Use uncountable noun Original: researches Suggested revision: research Why it matters: 'Research' is normally uncountable when referring generally to scientific investigation.
- 6. Correct wrong word Original: leaching Suggested revision: teaching Why it matters: 'Leaching' is a spelling substitution that changes the intended meaning.
- 7. Avoid redundant modifiers Original: far-reaching long-term impact Suggested revision: far-reaching impact Why it matters: 'Far-reaching' already conveys an extensive effect, making the added modifier unnecessary here.
- 8. Set off example phrase Original: liberal arts education including Suggested revision: liberal arts education, including Why it matters: A comma should introduce the nonessential examples that follow.
- 9. Fix modifier position Original: citizens well-cultivated and knowledgeable Suggested revision: well-cultivated citizens knowledgeable Why it matters: The adjective should appear before the noun it modifies.
- 10. Match singular subject Original: tend Suggested revision: tends Why it matters: The verb agrees with the singular subject 'a society', not with the nearby plural noun.
- 11. Add required article Original: adopt decent code of conduct Suggested revision: adopt a decent code of conduct Why it matters: The singular countable noun phrase requires an article.
- 12. Use precise description Original: highly charged issue Suggested revision: widely debated issue Why it matters: The revision describes disagreement over public spending more precisely.
Suggested Rewrites
- 1 I
- 1 I
- similar equal
- the greater is their contribution the greater their contribution is
- researches research
- leaching teaching
Why this response received Band 7.0
The response presents a clear, nuanced position and develops both science and liberal-arts funding through logically organized arguments and a strong academic vocabulary. Its main limitation is that some causal claims, particularly about arts education producing moral and law-abiding citizens, are asserted too broadly, and the essay ends without a conclusion. The highest-priority improvement is to qualify these claims and close with a concise restatement of the funding position.
IELTS Writing Criteria Scores
Task Response
The essay directly addresses the proposition with a clear partial-agreement position and developed arguments for both science and other subjects.
Strengthen the response by qualifying broad social claims and adding a concise conclusion that explicitly restates the preferred funding balance.
Coherence and Cohesion
The two-sided argument progresses clearly through focused paragraphs, and cohesive devices generally guide the reader effectively despite the missing conclusion.
Complete the progression with a concluding paragraph that synthesizes the two arguments rather than ending on the final supporting point.
Lexical Resource
Vocabulary is varied and often precise, with effective academic expressions, although several word-choice and collocation errors reduce control.
Refine collocations and noun forms, using expressions such as scientific research, spending on research, and funding for social sciences.
Grammatical Range and Accuracy
Complex sentence forms are used flexibly and meaning remains clear, but agreement, article, and noun-form errors occur often enough to limit accuracy.
Proofread complex sentences for subject-verb agreement and determiner use, especially when the subject contains long modifying phrases.
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IELTS Writing Task 2
The government should allocate more funding to teaching science rather than other subjects in order for a country to develop and progress. To what extent do you agree?
Your response
Write the task yourself, then compare your choices with the annotated response.