The government should allocate more funding to teaching science rather than other subjects in order for a country to develop and progress. To what extent do you agree?
Sample Response
People have different views on the subjects that the government should invest in and prioritise, to achieve what is termed economic development. Some believe that a larger portion of government funds should be dedicated to teaching science-related. In my opinion, although science plays a large role, other subjects hold merit in their own right in contributing to, and in driving, economic progress and therefore, deserve equal government investment and funding.
On the one hand, public funding in science education subjects is important in driving the development of a country in many areas, such as engineering and medicine. For example, developed countries such as Japan has emphasised the science education of their citizens. This strong focus has led to science learning, knowledge, and scientific research achievement fosters innovation and increases productivity, which directly contributes to the national economic growth of the nation. Therefore, investment in the teaching of science education is crucial for a country’s economic progress.
On the other hand, the management of the nation also determines its state of development and economic progress. As such, it can be argued that curriculum subjects such as social sciences and law require as much attention and investment. For example, developing economies such as Indonesia and Cambodia have long experienced a history of political and social unrests and conflicts. We can largely attribute this to instability and poor management of legal, social and governmental systems. This is in contrast to their Asian counterparts such as Singapore and Korea, where well-established and stable civil law and political institutions can be observed.
In conclusion, subjects related to the management of a nation’s economy such as social sciences have as much impact and significance on the development and progress of one’s nation and deserve as much government investment as science subjects.
IELTS Writing Correction
- 1. Remove misplaced comma Original: prioritise, to achieve Suggested revision: prioritise to achieve Why it matters: The comma incorrectly separates the verb phrase from its purpose infinitive.
- 2. Complete the noun phrase Original: teaching science-related Suggested revision: teaching science-related subjects Why it matters: The adjective 'science-related' needs a noun to complete the phrase.
- 3. Use natural collocation Original: large Suggested revision: major Why it matters: 'Plays a major role' is the more natural academic collocation.
- 4. Streamline parallel phrasing Original: in contributing to, and in driving Suggested revision: in contributing to and driving Why it matters: The repeated preposition and internal commas disrupt the parallel verb structure.
- 5. Remove redundant wording Original: investment and funding Suggested revision: funding Why it matters: The two nouns convey the same idea in this context.
- 6. Correct funding collocation Original: public funding in science education subjects Suggested revision: public funding for science subjects Why it matters: Funding is provided 'for' a subject, and 'science education subjects' is an awkward noun combination.
- 7. Avoid layered wording Original: investment in the teaching of science education Suggested revision: investment in science education Why it matters: The original phrase redundantly combines teaching and education.
- 8. Use uncountable unrest Original: experienced a history of political and social unrests and conflicts Suggested revision: experienced political and social unrest and conflict Why it matters: 'Unrest' is normally uncountable, and 'experience a history of' is unnecessarily repetitive.
- 9. State the aim directly Original: what is termed economic development Suggested revision: economic development Why it matters: The distancing phrase 'what is termed' adds unnecessary vagueness to a standard concept.
- 10. Use concise funding language Original: a larger portion of government funds Suggested revision: a larger share of government funding Why it matters: The revision expresses the allocation of public money more naturally and concisely.
- 11. Use direct wording Original: hold merit in their own right Suggested revision: are valuable in their own right Why it matters: The revision states the value of other subjects more directly.
- 12. Remove misplaced comma Original: economic progress and therefore, deserve Suggested revision: economic progress and therefore deserve Why it matters: The comma incorrectly separates the conjunctive adverb from the verb it modifies.
Suggested Rewrites
- prioritise, to achieve prioritise to achieve
- teaching science-related teaching science-related subjects
- large major
- in contributing to, and in driving in contributing to and driving
- investment and funding funding
- public funding in science education subjects public funding for science subjects
Why this response received Band 7.0
The response presents a clear, consistent position and supports it with a balanced explanation of how both scientific and institutional education can advance a country. Its main limitation is that some causal claims and examples are asserted rather than fully explained, while several awkward or inaccurate grammatical constructions reduce precision. The highest-priority improvement is to develop each example’s reasoning more carefully and edit complex sentences for clear subject–verb relationships and natural phrasing.
IELTS Writing Criteria Scores
Task Response
A clear and consistent position addresses the task through relevant arguments about science and other fields, although some support is generalized or insufficiently explained.
Explain the causal link between each educational field and national development more precisely, using examples that directly substantiate the claim.
Coherence and Cohesion
The response progresses logically through a balanced four-paragraph structure, with clear central topics and generally effective linking.
Make connections within body paragraphs less formulaic by explicitly showing how each supporting sentence advances the paragraph’s main claim.
Lexical Resource
A broad range of topic-appropriate vocabulary conveys the argument effectively, but several unnatural collocations and redundant expressions reduce precision.
Replace awkward combinations such as references to science education subjects with concise, idiomatic phrasing and remove unnecessary repetition.
Grammatical Range and Accuracy
The response uses varied complex structures, but recurring agreement problems and malformed clause combinations weaken accuracy and clarity.
Prioritize subject–verb agreement and divide overloaded clause chains into grammatically complete sentences with clearly related subjects and verbs.
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IELTS Writing Task 2
The government should allocate more funding to teaching science rather than other subjects in order for a country to develop and progress. To what extent do you agree?
Your response
Write the task yourself, then compare your choices with the annotated response.