It is the responsibility of a government to protect its citizens from natural disasters. Do you agree or disagree?
Sample Response
For many years natural calamities and disasters have been mankind's greatest enemy. The word goes with its literal meaning 'natural', that is involuntary in nature. Humans have no control over it. Nevertheless, there are steps that can be taken to prevent it and reduce the magnitude of its consequences. Taking this in view, some people think that government solely is responsible for protecting its citizens, while, others oppose this by saying that individuals play an indispensable role in safeguarding themselves. This essay will provide an in-depth evaluation of the matter before coming to an appropriate conclusion.
First of all, in this high- tech world, it is nearly impossible for us to control or prevent these disasters. Nowadays, media in the form of Television and newspapers are creating awareness among the people to tackle these situations, even before they face it. For example, Cyclones; category 5 cyclone hit Australia in 2015, people were warned beforehand through TV about the occurrence and necessary steps were taken immediately to minimise the loss. Similarly, newspapers have articles about what to expect in times of earthquakes and so on. Furthermore, people today are much more educated to take initiatives themselves. For example, individuals nowadays build houses that are disaster proof.
Moreover, along with the citizens, the government also plays an important role in protecting its people. According to me, a generous amount of money should be spent on architectural works. Buildings should be made so strong that it even stands high magnitude earthquake. One such example is, UAE, it is currently including iron pillars and iron wheels so that the building can withstand high force. In addition, the government should provide to the people with adequate resources to reduce the amount of loss. For example, in cases of cyclones, sand bags should be supplied in abundance to the coastal areas to avoid flooding. Lastly, after the disaster has occurred, appropriate rescue plans should be executed with efficient medical facilities and compensation for the loss if practical, need to be provided.
To conclude, from the aforementioned contributions, it is crystal clear that the government has the major role to play in overcoming the disasters caused by natural calamities. But, to be mentioned, it works better if goes together with the co-operation of the citizens too.
IELTS Writing Correction
- 1. Match plural subject Original: mankind's greatest enemy Suggested revision: humanity's greatest threats Why it matters: The plural disasters require a plural complement rather than the singular “enemy.”
- 2. Use accurate natural phrase Original: involuntary in nature Suggested revision: naturally occurring Why it matters: “Involuntary” describes actions or responses and does not describe natural events accurately.
- 3. Fix plural reference Original: it Suggested revision: them Why it matters: The pronoun refers to the plural “calamities and disasters.”
- 4. Maintain plural reference Original: it Suggested revision: them Why it matters: The pronoun must agree with the plural disasters under discussion.
- 5. Place focusing adverb Original: government solely is responsible Suggested revision: the government alone is responsible Why it matters: The definite article and the position of “alone” create the correct noun phrase.
- 6. Remove incorrect comma Original: while, others Suggested revision: while others Why it matters: A comma must not separate the subordinating conjunction from its subject.
- 7. Use lowercase medium name Original: Television Suggested revision: television Why it matters: The common noun “television” is not capitalised within a sentence.
- 8. Use generic plural directly Original: awareness among the people Suggested revision: awareness among people Why it matters: The generic plural “people” does not require the definite article.
- 9. Clarify awareness content Original: to tackle these situations Suggested revision: of how to handle these situations Why it matters: People are made aware of how to respond rather than made aware to perform an action.
- 10. Fix plural pronoun Original: it Suggested revision: them Why it matters: The pronoun refers to the plural situations.
- 11. Use preparedness phrase Original: educated to take initiatives Suggested revision: prepared to take action Why it matters: Education can prepare people to act, while “take initiatives” is unnatural in this general claim.
- 12. Use precise resilience term Original: disaster proof Suggested revision: disaster-resistant Why it matters: “Disaster-resistant” accurately describes buildings designed to withstand hazards.
Suggested Rewrites
- mankind's greatest enemy humanity's greatest threats
- involuntary in nature naturally occurring
- it them
- it them
- government solely is responsible the government alone is responsible
- while, others while others
Why this response received Band 6.5
The essay considers both public and individual responsibilities and offers a reasonably developed practical discussion, with the government paragraph providing the strongest task support. However, the position is withheld until the conclusion and several examples are unclear or insufficiently credible, while frequent awkward constructions reduce precision; the priority is to state a qualified agreement from the outset and develop fewer, more accurate examples in grammatically controlled sentences.
IELTS Writing Criteria Scores
Task Response
The response addresses government responsibility and individual cooperation with relevant ideas, but its stance emerges late and some supporting examples lack clarity or credibility.
State the qualified agreement in the introduction and develop each responsibility with one accurate, fully explained example.
Coherence and Cohesion
The four-paragraph structure provides clear overall progression, though linking is sometimes mechanical and several sentences contain loosely connected information.
Organise each body paragraph around one controlling claim and use references and transitions to show precise logical relationships.
Lexical Resource
The essay shows adequate range for disasters and public policy, but frequent inaccurate collocations and word choices reduce naturalness and precision.
Use established combinations such as “withstand a high-magnitude earthquake” and check prepositions and verb-noun pairings carefully.
Grammatical Range and Accuracy
Simple and complex structures convey the main meaning, but recurring article, agreement, punctuation, and sentence-construction errors limit control.
Prioritise complete clause patterns and proofread every sentence for subject-verb agreement, articles, and misplaced commas.
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IELTS Writing Task 2
It is the responsibility of a government to protect its citizens from natural disasters. Do you agree or disagree?
Your response
Write the task yourself, then compare your choices with the annotated response.