Every government has a duty to provide free health care for its people. What are the advantages and disadvantages of government providing free healthcare?
Sample Response
Healthy people build a healthy society and this is why it is a fundamental right for people. One should take care of one’s health but the people live below the poverty line cannot afford the expenses of medical checkups and to them, health care support must be provided by the state. However, there are certain drawbacks in providing free medical care. To begin with, the state must provide free health care to take care of the citizens, especially who can not afford expensive private healthcare services. Someone suffering from any severe health problem will be able to be diagnosed at the right time and consequently, the disease can be treated properly. Finally, the vaccines given at these centres would protect babies from dangerous diseases. The government has a responsibility to ensure proper medical services to its citizens and free health care for all is the way to achieve it. However, some people may consider these free health camps to be disadvantageous. It is certainly possible that the concerned corrupt authorities could misuse the funds allocated for free health service and offer poor medical treatment. As a result, the financial burden on a country rises. Moreover, some people may get habituated to visit a hospital for simple silly reasons and at times, one may overuse the free medicines available and get resist to that medicine which is very drastic. These days due to the advancement in science and technology, someone is able to determine any health abnormality at the initial level himself. For instance, the Intent has a great source of advice, tips and treatment prescribed by professional doctors and researchers that ordinary people can access and follow anytime. From this regards, people should follow a healthy lifestyle and access these free resources for their health benefits without burdening the government for their minor health-related issues. To conclude, the state policy should include poor citizens to the free health care services, impose a small fee for others and monitor the service offered to the people.
IELTS Writing Correction
- 1. Correct drawback collocation Original: in Suggested revision: to Why it matters: The noun 'drawbacks' takes the preposition 'to' before a gerund.
- 2. State health purpose Original: take care of the citizens Suggested revision: protect citizens' health Why it matters: The revision states the intended public-health purpose more precisely.
- 3. Add reference noun Original: especially who Suggested revision: especially those who Why it matters: 'Those' is required as the antecedent of the relative clause.
- 4. Correct singular determiner Original: any Suggested revision: a Why it matters: A singular countable problem requires the determiner 'a' in this affirmative statement.
- 5. Specify early diagnosis Original: at the right time Suggested revision: at an early stage Why it matters: The revision expresses the intended timing of diagnosis more precisely.
- 6. Use additive transition Original: Finally Suggested revision: Furthermore Why it matters: This sentence adds another advantage rather than presenting the essay's final point.
- 7. Use consistent service term Original: free health camps Suggested revision: free health-care services Why it matters: The essay discusses a general health-care system rather than occasional health camps.
- 8. Name responsible actors Original: the concerned corrupt authorities Suggested revision: corrupt officials Why it matters: The shorter phrase identifies the responsible people naturally and clearly.
- 9. Use plural service noun Original: service Suggested revision: services Why it matters: The general system comprises multiple services, so the plural form is appropriate.
- 10. Improve burden collocation Original: financial burden on a country rises Suggested revision: country's financial burden increases Why it matters: A burden 'increases' rather than 'rises' in this construction.
- 11. Use natural health term Original: abnormality Suggested revision: problem Why it matters: 'Health problem' is the natural general expression in this context.
- 12. Clarify disease stage Original: at the initial level Suggested revision: at an early stage Why it matters: Medical conditions are detected at a stage rather than at an initial level.
Suggested Rewrites
- in to
- take care of the citizens protect citizens' health
- especially who especially those who
- any a
- at the right time at an early stage
- Finally Furthermore
Why this response received Band 6.0
The response presents recognisable advantages and disadvantages and supports them with examples such as early diagnosis, vaccination, corruption, and overuse of services. Its main limitation is uneven development: several claims are only loosely connected, and the discussion of online self-diagnosis becomes questionable and distracts from the central comparison. The highest-priority improvement is to structure the two sides in separate paragraphs and explain each consequence through a clearer cause-and-effect chain.
IELTS Writing Criteria Scores
Task Response
Both sides of free healthcare are addressed and a practical position is stated, but some ideas are insufficiently explained or only partly relevant.
Develop each main advantage and disadvantage with a clear explanation of who is affected and why the consequence follows.
Coherence and Cohesion
The overall movement from benefits to drawbacks and a conclusion is discernible, but the single-paragraph presentation and loose referencing weaken progression.
Use separate body paragraphs for advantages and disadvantages, with one controlling idea and a clear cause-and-effect sequence in each.
Lexical Resource
The response uses an adequate topic-specific range, but frequent awkward choices such as 'get habituated', 'get resist', and 'From this regards' reduce precision.
Prioritise natural collocations such as 'become accustomed to', 'develop resistance to', and 'in this regard'.
Grammatical Range and Accuracy
A mix of simple and complex sentences communicates the main ideas, though recurring errors in clauses, verb forms, and prepositions reduce accuracy.
Review relative clauses and verb patterns, especially structures such as 'people who live', 'become accustomed to visiting', and 'become resistant to'.
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IELTS Writing Task 2
Every government has a duty to provide free health care for its people. What are the advantages and disadvantages of government providing free healthcare?
Your response
Write the task yourself, then compare your choices with the annotated response.