In many countries, governments are spending a large amount of money on improving internet access. Why is it happening and do you think it is the most appropriate use of government money?
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Sample Response
Recently, a substantial amount of government fundingan ample amount of governmental investment money is being poured into the improvement of internet accessimprovement of the Internet supply. This phenomenon has its roots inhas its root from a host of factors, and I would arguediscuss that there are other waysvarious available ways to allocate this money more effectively.
To begin with, it is understandable why enhancing the quality of the Internet provision has become a key national investment priorityportfolio. Firstly, with the availability of a better Internet connection, a broad range of informationan extensive avenue of information is opened up for the inhabitants. Most residents would have widespread access to both international and local newsboth international and local social news, and it has never been easier for those who live in remote areas to accessreach a wide range of information at thea click of a button. Secondly, an improved Internet supply can facilitate operationsfacilitate the operation process of government-owned companiesgovernmental companies. With stable online platformsstably-functioning online platforms, corporations today would no longer find it difficult to reachapproach their customers, manage their employees or organise video conferences, which boosts the overall productivity. In the long run, the development of such firms makes a great contribution to the growththriving of the national economy.
However, I believe that upgrading internet access is not the best way to allocate government money. The primary reason is that broadband connections in most countriesthe broadband connection in most countries today is fast enough to meet the basic needssatisfy the basic demands of the public. For example, in Vietnam, individuals hardly have to waithardly do individuals have to wait a long time for a web page to load, while online business meetings even became popular years agoonline business meetings had even become popular years ago. Therefore, an improvement in the quality of the Internet supply can be deemed neither necessary nor urgentdeemed not obligatory and urgent. Another justification is that there are several other fields which are being placed under strain and require funding to functionrequire the capital disbursement to function. To illustrate, a number of state hospitals in the UK have been conducting research on a complete cure for cancer, and it seems that this should be the investment priority.
In final words, all aforementioned standpoints lead me to a concrete inference that it is reasonable forof the authorities to spend money bettering the Internet provision, but there are ways to allocate the capital more appropriately.
Why this response received Band 7.5
The response answers both questions directly, gives a consistent view, and supports its case with a clear progression from reasons for investment to competing priorities. Its principal limitation is frequent over-elaborate or imprecise word choice, which sometimes obscures otherwise relevant ideas; prioritise simpler, natural collocations and more carefully qualified examples when explaining why alternative spending deserves priority.
IELTS Writing Criteria Scores
Task Response
Both the reasons for internet investment and the judgement that other spending is more appropriate are clearly addressed and developed.
Make the alternative-spending case more convincing by explaining why the chosen example represents a broader and more urgent public need.
Coherence and Cohesion
The response follows a clear two-part structure, and ideas within each body paragraph progress logically from claim to support.
Reduce mechanical signposting such as Firstly and Secondly by linking supporting points through their logical relationship.
Lexical Resource
Vocabulary is wide-ranging, but frequent awkward collocations such as Internet supply, capital disbursement, and concrete inference limit precision and naturalness.
Replace inflated expressions with concise, idiomatic terms that express the same ideas more accurately.
Grammatical Range and Accuracy
The essay uses varied complex sentences with generally clear meaning, although awkward constructions and tense or clause choices recur.
Review complex sentences for natural subject-verb patterns, tense consistency, and precise coordination before finalising the response.