In many countries, governments are spending a large amount of money on improving internet access. Why is it happening and do you think it is the most appropriate use of government money?
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Sample Response
A huge proportion of the national budgetof national budget is allocated to providing people with easier access to the Internet. There are several reasons for such spending and, in my view, this is not the most suitable way to use state money.
Governments understandThe government understand how the Internet benefits the lives of their citizens and the limitations on accessand also the limitation of access to the network in a number of places across their countries. The Internet has proved effective in providingproven powerful in dispensing educational services and general knowledge about all aspects of life, not to mention the fact that it could facilitate communication even between continentscommunication between even continents. It is easy to see whyThere is no arguing why governments pay much heed to the development of the network, because this can boostjust as to boost the overall quality of life for their people. Additionally, perhaps the inaccessibility of the Internet in many areas, especially disadvantaged areasones for which mountainous villages in Vietnam could be brought up as a prime example, has the government draw a conclusion to pour their money into improving the Internet.
Despite the points analysed aboveMuch as those analyzed points above, I still believe heavy spending in this arealarge financial spending on such a field could, sometimes, be seen as unproductive or even counter-productive. In fact, only half of the world'sworld population has an Internet connectionhas Internet connection; and even if the government were able to expand the network, it would be, I believe, unlikely to reach the rest of the world's populationhardly reachable for the rest of the world for the time being. The result would not be equivalent to the enormous amount of governmental funding. Instead, there are some other areas that authorities could invest in as prerequisites before providingas a pre-requisite complement before supplying a widespread network. Constructing schools and deploying qualified teachers to areas accustomed to having no Internet accessareas that are used to the absence of the Internet and are unaware of the benefits it might offer could be more promising.
In conclusion, there are two main explanations for governments’ special attention to improving Internet accessthe Internet access; and I think this is not the optimalmost optimal way to spend money.
Why this response received Band 7.0
The response addresses both questions with a clear position, and its strongest feature is the logical progression from reasons for investment to an alternative spending priority. Some claims are insufficiently precise, however, and awkward collocations and grammatical slips occasionally reduce fluency. The main improvement is to develop the cost-effectiveness comparison more rigorously, using clearer causal reasoning and more natural, accurately controlled sentences.
IELTS Writing Criteria Scores
Task Response
Both parts are answered with a consistent position, relevant reasons, and a developed alternative, though the argument about limited reach is not fully convincing.
Strengthen the evaluation by comparing internet investment and alternative priorities through explicit costs, beneficiaries, and likely outcomes.
Coherence and Cohesion
Ideas progress logically through a clear paragraph structure, with generally effective linking despite a few awkward transitions and overloaded sentences.
Use more natural transitions and divide long sentences where several logical relationships compete for attention.
Lexical Resource
A wide range of vocabulary supports precise discussion of public spending and access, although several collocations and formulations sound unnatural.
Refine collocational accuracy, especially around government expenditure, internet availability, and the delivery of public services.
Grammatical Range and Accuracy
The response uses varied complex structures successfully, but recurring agreement, article, and clause-construction errors prevent consistently strong control.
Proofread complex sentences for subject-verb agreement, articles, and complete clause patterns while preserving the existing range.