Some people believe that government spends too much money on space research while there are still a lot of problems on the earth. To what extent do you agree or disagree with this opinion?
Sample Response
In today's scientific world, a myriad of wealth is allocated on scientific inventions and researches. Space exploration is a key area where governments in many countries are spending billions of dollars each year. Although I support space research, I opine that governments have to pay attention to the existing problems on the earth with higher priority than the space exploration. The basis for my view is economical and personal. Firstly, from an economical point of view, universe exploration employs more than half of the total money allocated for overall scientific research in all fields combined. As per the report published by the Week magazine on 20th September 2015, at least 30 billion dollars have been spent on the Apollo moon missions by the United States. In case, this lump sum could be used for infrastructure, education and food in poor countries, definitely the quality of life would increase with lower crime rates. Thus, it is crystal clear that existing problems in the world need better focus. Secondly, from a personal point of view, there is nothing we have gained so far from the space programmes. For instance, even after landing on the Moon as well as sending different missions to other planets, we are not successful in finding the existence of life anywhere outside the Earth. However, some of the missions abroad are successful in testing soil samples and sending pictures, which is not really useful for the layman. Moreover, a lot of scientists have risked their lives during the travel to outer space. Thus, higher priority needs to be given to existing issues in the world. In conclusion, by analysing how expensive the space research is with limited success to the citizens, there is no doubt that government need to prioritise to solve the existing problems. It is predicted that space exploration continues, but with a lower budget.
IELTS Writing Correction
- 1. Use countable funding phrase Original: a myriad of wealth Suggested revision: a great deal of funding Why it matters: “Myriad” does not naturally modify the uncountable noun “wealth” in this context.
- 2. Correct the preposition Original: on Suggested revision: to Why it matters: Money is normally allocated “to” a purpose.
- 3. Use natural research terms Original: scientific inventions and researches Suggested revision: scientific innovation and research Why it matters: “Research” is normally uncountable here, and “innovation” better describes the field.
- 4. Remove the article Original: on the earth Suggested revision: on Earth Why it matters: The planet name “Earth” does not take “the” in this expression.
- 5. Fix comparison structure Original: with higher priority than the space exploration Suggested revision: as a higher priority than space exploration Why it matters: The comparative idea requires the structure “as a higher priority than.”
- 6. Use economic adjective Original: economical Suggested revision: economic Why it matters: “Economic” relates to finance, whereas “economical” means cost-saving.
- 7. Use economic adjective Original: economical Suggested revision: economic Why it matters: “Economic” is the correct adjective for a financial perspective.
- 8. Use the standard term Original: universe Suggested revision: space Why it matters: “Space exploration” is the established term for this activity.
- 9. Use formal attribution Original: As per the report Suggested revision: According to the report Why it matters: “According to” is the more conventional attribution phrase in formal prose.
- 10. Capitalize the publication Original: the Suggested revision: The Why it matters: The first word of the publication’s proper name should be capitalized.
- 11. Use past tense Original: have been spent on the Apollo moon missions Suggested revision: were spent on the Apollo moon missions Why it matters: The sentence refers to completed missions and a past report, so the simple past is appropriate.
- 12. Place the adverb naturally Original: definitely the quality of life would increase Suggested revision: the quality of life would definitely improve Why it matters: The adverb belongs after the modal verb, and “improve” collocates naturally with quality of life.
Suggested Rewrites
- a myriad of wealth a great deal of funding
- on to
- scientific inventions and researches scientific innovation and research
- on the earth on Earth
- with higher priority than the space exploration as a higher priority than space exploration
- economical economic
Why this response received Band 6.0
The response presents a consistent qualified position and supports it with two relevant lines of argument about cost and limited public benefit. Its effectiveness is reduced by sweeping or insufficiently substantiated claims, the complete lack of paragraph breaks, and frequent awkward collocations; the priority is to organise the argument into purposeful paragraphs and develop more measured, credible evidence for each claim.
IELTS Writing Criteria Scores
Detailed feedback by IELTS writing criterion after the annotated essay.
Task Response
A clear position is maintained and relevant reasons are explained, although several claims are exaggerated, doubtful, or only partially substantiated.
Replace absolute assertions with balanced reasoning that acknowledges concrete benefits of space research before justifying budget priorities.
Coherence and Cohesion
The argument follows a recognisable introduction-to-reasons-to-conclusion sequence, but it is presented as one block and relies on mechanical signposting.
Divide the response into clear introduction, body, and conclusion paragraphs, with each body paragraph centred on one developed reason.
Lexical Resource
There is sufficient range for the topic, but recurrent collocational imprecision makes expressions such as "a myriad of wealth" and "missions abroad" sound unnatural.
Prioritise accurate academic collocations, for example "substantial funding," "space exploration," and "public benefit," over ambitious but unsuitable wording.
Grammatical Range and Accuracy
The response uses varied sentence forms and remains understandable, though errors in articles, agreement, prepositions, and clause construction recur.
Review article and verb patterns in sentences such as "government need to prioritise to solve" and practise forming accurate conditionals.
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IELTS Writing Task 2
Some people believe that government spends too much money on space research while there are still a lot of problems on the earth. To what extent do you agree or disagree with this opinion?
Your response
Write the task yourself, then compare your choices with the annotated response.