Governments spend a lot of money on public celebrations such as national holidays and public festivals. Some people say that the government spends too much on this and that they should use this money on other useful things. Do you agree or disagree?
Sample Response
Commemoration of important national events is a part of a nation's pride and a way to show respect for its tradition and history. Such events are instrumental in motivating the new generation to be patriots and bestowing tribute to people whose contributions are unforgettable. Thus the amount spent on such celebrations is justified.
To begin with, public ceremonies are important in terms of spreading nationality, giving mass people a reason to forget their differences and improving public relations. The amount spent on such events is often disputed by many, but this opinion, in no way, is practical, and the importance of observing national events is unparalleled. Such a celebration, for example, Independence Day, teaches us who we really are, how much our ancestors sacrificed to give us freedom, and how we are all connected as a nation. In my early childhood, I did not show an acute interest in the history of our country until I noticed the way people observe Independent Day and how the whole nation remembers the sacrifices of the martyrs of our country. We need to celebrate our significant national days to pass the history to the next generation.
Now getting back to using the funds on more important things - a government already has a plan in place for disaster recovery and using funds for important sectors. Each sector in a country already gets a share of the national budget, and we need to focus more on prudently using the funds for true development, not switching funds from one important cause to another. Finally, festivals are people's fundamental rights, and a government should always support such public festivals including religious and national galas to prove that the authority works for the contentment of the public.
To conclude, public celebrations and the government's role in organising them and using the national fund to support it have a great influence in fostering nationality, showing a government's support to the people. This is why the amount spent on such events is essential.
IELTS Writing Correction
- 1. Add definite framing Original: Commemoration of important national events Suggested revision: The commemoration of important national events Why it matters: The defined activity takes the definite article in this opening statement.
- 2. Correct pride relationship Original: a part of a nation's pride Suggested revision: a source of national pride Why it matters: An event is a source of pride rather than a part of pride.
- 3. Use general plurals Original: tradition Suggested revision: traditions Why it matters: A nation generally has multiple traditions.
- 4. Use natural civic phrase Original: motivating the new generation to be patriots Suggested revision: encouraging the younger generation to value patriotism Why it matters: The revision expresses civic motivation more naturally.
- 5. Correct tribute collocation Original: bestowing Suggested revision: paying Why it matters: English uses the fixed expression “pay tribute to.”
- 6. Use civic identity term Original: spreading nationality Suggested revision: promoting national identity Why it matters: Nationality is not something that is spread; national identity can be promoted.
- 7. Use natural public noun Original: mass people Suggested revision: the general public Why it matters: “Mass people” is not a standard English expression.
- 8. Avoid exaggerated claim Original: the importance of observing national events is unparalleled Suggested revision: observing national events remains important Why it matters: The revision states the point clearly without an unsupported absolute comparison.
- 9. Use strong-interest collocation Original: show an acute interest Suggested revision: show a keen interest Why it matters: “Keen interest” is the natural collocation.
- 10. Correct holiday name Original: Independent Suggested revision: Independence Why it matters: The national holiday is called “Independence Day.”
- 11. Correct transmission phrase Original: pass the history Suggested revision: pass on this history Why it matters: Knowledge and history are “passed on” to another generation.
- 12. Correct spend preposition Original: using Suggested revision: spending Why it matters: Funds are spent “on” priorities, while “use” would take “for.”
Suggested Rewrites
- Commemoration of important national events The commemoration of important national events
- a part of a nation's pride a source of national pride
- tradition traditions
- motivating the new generation to be patriots encouraging the younger generation to value patriotism
- bestowing paying
- spreading nationality promoting national identity
Why this response received Band 7.0
The response’s strongest feature is its consistent position, supported by a developed explanation of how national celebrations preserve shared history and identity. Its main limitation is that the financial counterargument is asserted rather than closely examined, and recurring unnatural word combinations reduce precision. Prioritise a more specific comparison of celebration spending with other public needs while choosing more idiomatic vocabulary.
IELTS Writing Criteria Scores
Task Response
The response maintains a clear disagreement and develops relevant reasons, especially the role of celebrations in transmitting national history.
Address the claim of excessive spending more directly by comparing costs, benefits, and competing budget priorities with concrete reasoning.
Coherence and Cohesion
The essay follows a clear introduction-body-conclusion structure, and the main ideas progress logically despite some abrupt or conversational linking.
Use a more formal transition into the budget paragraph and make the connection between funding allocations and the final rights-based point explicit.
Lexical Resource
The response shows a reasonably wide vocabulary, but frequent collocational choices such as “spreading nationality” and “mass people” sound unnatural.
Use conventional combinations such as “strengthening national identity,” “the general public,” and “pass history on to the next generation.”
Grammatical Range and Accuracy
Complex sentences are used with generally good control, though faulty parallelism, pronoun reference, and prepositional choices recur.
Check parallel structures and agreement in longer sentences, particularly those combining several government actions or purposes.
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IELTS Writing Task 2
Governments spend a lot of money on public celebrations such as national holidays and public festivals. Some people say that the government spends too much on this and that they should use this money on other useful things. Do you agree or disagree?
Your response
Write the task yourself, then compare your choices with the annotated response.