“Prevention is better than cure.” Out of a country’s health budget, a large proportion should be diverted from treatment to spending on health education and preventative measures. To what extent do you agree or disagree with this statement?
Sample Response
It is oftenever said that prevention is better than cure. Therefore, a large share of the total health budgeta large share out of the total health budget must be diverted from treatmentutilized from curement to educate people about maintaining good healtheducate people on keeping good health and how to stay healthywhat to do to get a healthy body. I thoroughly agree with the statement and will express my perspective in the following paragraphsupcoming paragraph.
To commence with, if a big amount of money is spent on creating awareness among people regarding their food habits, that can create a danger for them and make them a victim of many diseases, it is a noble cause. For instance, people become addicted to alcoholaddicted to using alcoholic products. So, if the masses are informed through dramatizations aboutare advised through dramatisation about the adverse outcomes of consuming harmful substancesconsuming toxic products, they will abstain from consuming these productstaking these drugs. Thus, the money that a government spends on treating individualson the curement of individuals from various diseases could be used for other purposes.
Moreover, if people are healthy and fall ill less oftenfall less sick, it will not only be beneficial for the masses but also for the government that spends moneythe regime that throws money for the well being of its individuals. To exemplify, people who work in any firm will take less leavewill not take leave more, and they will contribute more to their companydo a lot for the betterment of their company, and in this way, individuals will use medical facilities lessmedical facilities will be less used by the individual. It will be possible only through instructions that folk get when they see any campaigning or rallies and to name but a few. Thus, educating peopleThus educating people about health hazards is more powerful than spending money on the treatment.
To conclude, Therefore, it is clear from the above-mentioned viewpoints that abstainingabstain from consuming unhealthy food is better than admitting to a hospital. Besides, the money spent on treatment could be used to guide people about potential health issues. These issues like obesity the cardiovascular disease could never have happened if people got information about the repercussion of an unhealthy diet beforehand.
Why this response received Band 6.0
The response states a consistent position and supports it with relevant ideas about health education, harmful habits, and reduced pressure on treatment services. Its main limitation is that explanations are sometimes loosely expressed or logically blurred by inaccurate vocabulary and sentence construction. The highest priority is to develop each argument through a clearer cause-and-effect sequence while using natural, precise wording.
IELTS Writing Criteria Scores
Task Response
A clear agreement is maintained and supported with relevant reasons, although some ideas are only partly clarified or convincingly extended.
Develop each main point through a precise explanation of how a specific preventive measure would reduce illness and treatment costs.
Coherence and Cohesion
The response follows a recognizable introduction-body-conclusion structure, but progression within several long sentences is uneven and linking is sometimes mechanical.
Organize each body paragraph around one central claim and connect its explanation, example, and consequence in a direct sequence.
Lexical Resource
There is enough vocabulary to discuss health policy, but frequent unnatural or inaccurate choices such as curement, throws money, and folk reduce precision.
Replace memorized or unusual terms with accurate collocations such as treatment costs, public health campaigns, and people or citizens.
Grammatical Range and Accuracy
A mixture of simple and complex structures is attempted, but recurring errors in clause control, articles, agreement, and word forms weaken accuracy.
Use shorter controlled complex sentences and check that every dependent clause has a clear subject, verb, and logical connection.
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IELTS Writing Task 2
“Prevention is better than cure.” Out of a country’s health budget, a large proportion should be diverted from treatment to spending on health education and preventative measures. To what extent do you agree or disagree with this statement?
Your response
Write the task yourself, then compare your choices with the annotated response.