Some people say History is one of the most important school subjects. Other people think that, in today’s world, subjects like Science and Technology are more important than History. Discuss both these views and give your own opinion?
Same question Compare all 2 answers See different approaches and band scores for this IELTS task.Sample Response
Many people consider History as an essential subject in school curriculum while others contend that science and technology should get more priority. In this essay, I will discuss both perspectives and argue that science and technology-related subjects should be given more importance in school syllabi as the current era is defined by the advancement of technology rather than history.
On the one hand, people who advocate for the significance of History as a school subject assert that without learning about history, our young generation can not shape a better future. This is because history repeats itself, and without learning and examining the lessons from history, we will always be oblivious when it comes to making important decisions for our future. For instance, if we do not know what caused devastating famines in the past or what sparked a civil war, we can not expect to prevent them and make a better future.
On the contrary, proponents of prioritising science, engineering and technology subjects in schools express that we are living in a world which is shaped and driven by scientific breakthroughs and technological advancements. This is why students should be prepared to use them to have a better career and a prosperous future. They argue that history teachers in schools mostly talk about important dates, events from the past, and the life of famous leaders which may be irrelevant in this current technology-driven era. Moreover, history as a subject often forces pupils to memorise noteworthy dates and names and offers very little practical value. Science and technology, on the other hand, become integral in the life and career of a student. I tend to support this opinion considering the extraordinary impact science and technology have in our life and how knowledge in science and technology can help us prepare for a thriving future.
In conclusion, while some people emphasize the importance of History in academies, there is no denying that science and technology play a more impactful role in shaping our learners' minds and equipping them for the future.
IELTS Writing Correction
- 1. Fix consider construction Original: consider History as Suggested revision: consider History Why it matters: “Consider” takes a direct object and complement without “as” in this structure.
- 2. Add definite article Original: in school curriculum Suggested revision: in the school curriculum Why it matters: The singular countable noun “curriculum” requires an article.
- 3. Fix generation and spelling Original: our young generation can not shape Suggested revision: young people cannot build Why it matters: “Young people” is the natural plural reference, “cannot” is one word, and people build a future.
- 4. Use natural study verbs Original: learning and examining the lessons from history Suggested revision: studying and reflecting on lessons from history Why it matters: People study history and reflect on its lessons rather than learn and examine the lessons.
- 5. Clarify decision limitation Original: will always be oblivious when it comes to making Suggested revision: may lack the knowledge needed to make Why it matters: The revision states the decision-making limitation directly and avoids the awkward “oblivious when it comes to”.
- 6. Join cannot Original: we can not expect Suggested revision: we cannot expect Why it matters: The modal negative “cannot” is normally written as one word.
- 7. Use future collocation Original: make a better future Suggested revision: build a better future Why it matters: The natural collocation is “build a better future”.
- 8. Use balanced contrast Original: On the contrary Suggested revision: On the other hand Why it matters: The paragraph presents the alternative view rather than directly contradicting a specific statement.
- 9. Use reporting verb Original: express that Suggested revision: argue that Why it matters: Proponents “argue that” a claim is true; “express that” is not natural here.
- 10. Clarify pronoun reference Original: prepared to use them Suggested revision: prepared to apply this knowledge Why it matters: The revision identifies the scientific and technological knowledge students would use.
- 11. Use plural lives Original: the life of famous leaders Suggested revision: the lives of famous leaders Why it matters: Multiple leaders have multiple lives, so the countable noun should be plural.
- 12. Use correct tense and preposition Original: become integral in Suggested revision: are integral to Why it matters: The general claim requires the present “are”, and “integral” takes the preposition “to”.
Suggested Rewrites
- consider History as consider History
- in school curriculum in the school curriculum
- our young generation can not shape young people cannot build
- learning and examining the lessons from history studying and reflecting on lessons from history
- will always be oblivious when it comes to making may lack the knowledge needed to make
- we can not expect we cannot expect
Why this response received Band 8.0
The response’s strongest feature is its complete treatment of both views alongside a clear, consistently maintained preference for science and technology, with relevant explanation and examples. The main limitation is occasional overstatement and some awkward lexical choices, particularly when dismissing History’s practical value. The highest-priority improvement is to make the comparison more nuanced and precise while retaining the essay’s strong structure and control.
IELTS Writing Criteria Scores
Detailed feedback by IELTS writing criterion after the annotated essay.
Task Response
Both perspectives are directly addressed, the opinion is explicit throughout, and the main ideas receive relevant development and support.
Qualify broad claims about History having little practical value to produce a more balanced and persuasive evaluation.
Coherence and Cohesion
The essay is logically organised into focused paragraphs, and ideas progress smoothly from the two views to the stated conclusion.
Use a more precise contrastive transition than ‘On the contrary’ when introducing the second legitimate viewpoint.
Lexical Resource
A wide topic-specific range is used flexibly, although occasional collocations such as ‘get more priority’ and ‘in our life’ are awkward.
Refine these isolated collocations to more natural forms such as ‘receive greater priority’ and ‘in our lives’.
Grammatical Range and Accuracy
Varied complex sentences are generally accurate and controlled, with only occasional minor agreement, article, and reference lapses.
Proofread singular and plural reference carefully, particularly where ‘students’ and ‘our’ require plural nouns and pronouns.
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IELTS Writing Task 2
Some people say History is one of the most important school subjects. Other people think that, in today’s world, subjects like Science and Technology are more important than History. Discuss both these views and give your own opinion?
Your response
Write the task yourself, then compare your choices with the annotated response.