Some people prefer activities and lifestyles in hot climates while others prefer living in cold climates. Discuss both views and give your opinion.
Sample Response
As we have entered in 21st era, so each and every aspect has been transforming due to changes in Lifestyle. Moreover, today’s most controversial issue is about Lifestyle in a different climate, many people believe that it’s good to live in a hot climate while sceptical hold’s the view that activities and Lifestyle in a cold climate are far better. Therefore, I would shed light upon both perspectives and also discuss my view in upcoming paragraphs.
To inaugurate with, there are some positive grounds of living in the hot climate. First and foremost, days are long in summer as compared to winter so that people can utilise their time effectively, for example, people wake up in the early morning to do farming and other work in the presence of sunlight till evening. Secondly, in summers usually, there is less consumption of electricity because in-office hours people prefer to open windows to allow enter sunlight so that they use sunlight instead of artificial light.
On the other hand, many people believe living in winter has more benefits. Initially, usually in winters, there are different variety of food available so that people enjoy to eat a variety of foods. Furthermore, in winters night are long, so people enjoy the nightlife in their city, the example is given: In Shimla after 6 p.m. all streets are shining very well that, attracts tourists and give them pleasure moment by showing the beauty of their city through lights.
To sum up, while keeping my pencil down, I must write that it depends upon one’s preference to live in a hot or cold climate. But, In my opinion, summers are better because it’s less dangerous for heart patients and also in summer most of the work is done in sunlight so less consumption of electricity.
IELTS Writing Correction
- 1. Fix time expression Original: entered in 21st era Suggested revision: entered the 21st century Why it matters: ‘Enter’ takes a direct object, and ‘century’ is the correct time period.
- 2. Remove double connector Original: so each and every Suggested revision: every Why it matters: The opening ‘As’ already marks the relationship, so ‘so’ creates an incorrect double connector.
- 3. Use intransitive form Original: transforming Suggested revision: changing Why it matters: ‘Changing’ correctly describes an aspect undergoing transformation without an object.
- 4. Correct word form Original: Lifestyle Suggested revision: lifestyles Why it matters: The common noun should be lowercase and plural when referring to general ways of living.
- 5. Use direct academic verb Original: would shed light upon Suggested revision: will examine Why it matters: ‘Will examine’ states the essay’s purpose more directly.
- 6. Use natural phrasing Original: in upcoming paragraphs Suggested revision: in the following paragraphs Why it matters: ‘The following paragraphs’ is the conventional reference within an essay.
- 7. Fix linking phrase Original: inaugurate Suggested revision: begin Why it matters: ‘Inaugurate’ does not form this discourse marker.
- 8. Use precise phrasing Original: positive grounds of living in the hot climate Suggested revision: benefits of living in a hot climate Why it matters: The revision uses the natural noun and article for a general climate.
- 9. Use comparative form Original: days are long in summer as compared to winter Suggested revision: days are longer in summer than in winter Why it matters: A direct comparison requires ‘longer than’ and parallel seasonal phrases.
- 10. Fix result connector Original: so that people can utilise Suggested revision: so people can utilise Why it matters: The clause expresses a result rather than a purpose requiring ‘so that’.
- 11. Use concise verb Original: to do farming Suggested revision: to farm Why it matters: The verb ‘farm’ expresses this activity naturally and concisely.
- 12. Fix season phrase Original: in summers usually Suggested revision: usually in summer Why it matters: The general season is singular, and the frequency adverb belongs before the phrase.
Suggested Rewrites
- entered in 21st era entered the 21st century
- so each and every every
- transforming changing
- Lifestyle lifestyles
- would shed light upon will examine
- in upcoming paragraphs in the following paragraphs
Why this response received Band 6.0
The response’s strongest feature is its clear four-paragraph structure, which allows both climate preferences and the writer’s opinion to be identified easily. However, the supporting ideas are uneven and sometimes implausible, while frequent grammatical and collocational errors make expression awkward. The highest priority is to develop each view with a convincing, directly relevant explanation and then edit sentences for agreement, articles, and natural word combinations.
IELTS Writing Criteria Scores
Task Response
Both views are discussed and a clear preference is given, but several reasons are simplistic, weakly supported, or introduced only in the conclusion.
Develop one convincing benefit for each climate and support the final preference with reasoning established in the body.
Coherence and Cohesion
The response follows a clear paragraph sequence, although linking is often formulaic and some long sentences lose smooth progression.
Use fewer stock signposts and separate run-on sentences so each reason and example follows its claim clearly.
Lexical Resource
The vocabulary is sufficient for the topic and shows some range, but frequent inaccurate collocations and word forms reduce naturalness.
Replace forced expressions with precise everyday academic combinations and check plural forms, possession, and verb patterns.
Grammatical Range and Accuracy
There is an attempt to use varied complex structures, but frequent errors in agreement, articles, clauses, and punctuation remain noticeable.
Prioritise complete sentence boundaries and subject–verb agreement before adding complex subordinate clauses.
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IELTS Writing Task 2
Some people prefer activities and lifestyles in hot climates while others prefer living in cold climates. Discuss both views and give your opinion.
Your response
Write the task yourself, then compare your choices with the annotated response.