Average life span of the human in many developing countries is increasing. Is this is a positive or negative development? Will this increased life expectancy have any social and personal issue? Suggest some measures that could be taken to reduce the impact of ageing populations.
Sample Response
People in the developing countriesfirst-world countries are living longertend to live longer these days. Although this might be a good sign that overall healththe overall health has improved, it also creates some problemsbrings some issues to the world. The essay will discuss the downsides of having ageing populations, as well as the solutions to combat these problems. There are two disadvantages of having anthe ageing population. Firstly, the elderly would need a larger retirement fundmore retirement fund than might previously have been expectedthan it might be previously expected, because they might need to rely on their pension for a longer periodfor an extended period of time, such as for twenty years instead of merely fifteen years. Sadly, a recent survey reported that older people have not saved sufficient fundsdo not prepare sufficient funds to pay for their retirement expensespost-retirement expenses. As such, they might end up having financial problems later in life. Secondly, society might need more space for housing as the number of people living in this world continues to rise. This, in turn, might cause land or house prices to rise, making housingit less affordable for people to purchase. Nevertheless, there are some measures that could be implemented to alleviate the negative effects. One of them is to provide affordable nursing homes so theirits cost will not be too burdensome for families or older people themselvesto the family or the elderly themselves. This should also be supported by the growth of the aged-care workforcegrowth in aged-care professions to ensure the welfare of the aged. In addition, superannuation systems needsuperannuations need to be updated to suit the current needs of an ageing populationcurrent condition of the ageing population. An example of this would be to start a campaign to promote early investment planning and regular savingearly investment plan and financial savings. Hence, young and middle-aged peoplethe young or the middle-aged can start buildingpreparing their retirement funds in order to accumulate enough savings to support themselves in retirementfinance themselves. In conclusion, while there are some issues caused by increased life expectancyissues brought by the higher life expectancy, there are practical measures to address these problemssome methods to solve the problems. These need to be done in order to guarantee the welfare of the aged.
Why this response received Band 6.5
The response gives relevant personal and social consequences of longer lives and proposes practical measures, with particularly clear explanation of retirement finances. However, it only briefly establishes whether the development is positive or negative, shifts from developing to first-world countries, and presents the whole discussion as one paragraph. The priority is to state and support a direct judgement on the development while organising each major task element into a distinct paragraph.
IELTS Writing Criteria Scores
Task Response
All main task elements are touched on, but the positive-or-negative judgement and the developing-country context receive limited direct attention.
State a clear overall judgement and support it with an explicit evaluation of both the benefits and the most important personal and social costs.
Coherence and Cohesion
The argument follows a clear sequence with effective signposting, but the absence of paragraph breaks weakens the visible organisation of ideas.
Separate the introduction, impacts, solutions, and conclusion into purposeful paragraphs, each centred on one controlling idea.
Lexical Resource
Vocabulary is varied and often precise, especially when discussing pensions, care provision, and financial preparation, despite occasional awkward combinations.
Refine less natural phrases and check singular-plural choices so that the otherwise strong topic vocabulary is consistently idiomatic.
Grammatical Range and Accuracy
The response uses varied complex sentences with generally good control, and the remaining agreement, reference, and noun-form errors rarely impede meaning.
Review pronoun reference and number agreement in longer sentences to make relationships between ideas fully precise.
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IELTS Writing Task 2
Average life span of the human in many developing countries is increasing. Is this is a positive or negative development? Will this increased life expectancy have any social and personal issue? Suggest some measures that could be taken to reduce the impact of ageing populations.
Your response
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