Average life span of the human in many developing countries is increasing. Is this is a positive or negative development? Will this increased life expectancy have any social and personal issue? Suggest some measures that could be taken to reduce the impact of ageing populations.
Sample Response
In recent decadesSince the dawn of time, average life expectancy has been increasingthe average life expectancy is increasing. This is evidentevidence in developing countriesthe developing countries such as Australia, the United States of America, and Englandsuch as in Australia, United States of America and in England. As a resultAs result of this trend, problems such as family conflicts and antisocial behaviour among older peopleelderly antisocial acts will also arise. However, in every problem, there is always a solution, and to counter these negative impacts for individuals and to society perhaps treat elderly with respect and love as well as give them some certain task. For one, as there is an increase in the ageing populationan increasing of ageing population, they tend to livestay and live with their working children in one home, where misunderstandings may ariseone home in which misunderstanding may arise between the two. For instance, Filipino adults who work and have migratedare working and migrated in a developed country like Australia sponsor their elderly parentssponsored their old parents to live with them in that countrythat rich nation. But because these busy adults are always at work, they sometimes neglect their parentshe sometimes forgets his parents, and these elderly parents will feel disregarded and neglected which might result inthat might result to more serious confrontations and conflicts. It is because sometimes an argument is unavoidable when living with children who have families of their ownchildren having their own family. In addition to this, as these old people will feel unwanted and disregarded by their children, they may sometimes act negativelydo negative acts towards their children and other people in their surroundings. For example, they may become agitated and always angry and might hurt their grandchildren at home. They may also leave the housego leave the house and do harmful things to other people in the community. This situation is common in the United States of America, according to the Psychiatric Nursing 4th edition book by Sheila L. Videbeck. In conclusion, as the ageing population grows, family misunderstandings will also increasefamily misunderstanding will also incline and more and more elderly will engage in antisocial acts. However, we working adults can manage these problems by giving them the respect and love they deserve such as acknowledging their presence and giving them gifts on special occasionsgifts in their special occasions like birthdays, mother's day or father's day. Also give them some task at home like babysitting their grandchildren or driving them and picking them up at their school. With these tasks, they will surely feel wanted and valued, and such acts will be avoided.
Why this response received Band 5.5
The response maintains a recognisable negative view and illustrates family tensions and possible supportive actions with concrete scenarios. Its main limitation is that the task is handled narrowly and unevenly: the positive-or-negative judgment is mostly implicit, the social and personal effects overlap, and the proposed measures remain informal and limited. The highest-priority improvement is to organise a direct answer to each task part and develop broader, realistic measures.
IELTS Writing Criteria Scores
Task Response
The response covers the negative effects and offers measures, but its evaluation is mostly implicit and the treatment of issues and solutions is narrow.
State the judgment explicitly, distinguish personal from social consequences, and explain several practical measures in greater depth.
Coherence and Cohesion
Ideas follow a generally understandable sequence, but the response is presented as one long paragraph and some linking is mechanical or repetitive.
Use separate introduction, effects, solutions, and conclusion paragraphs, each with a clear controlling idea.
Lexical Resource
There is enough vocabulary to discuss ageing and family conflict, but inaccurate collocations and word forms frequently reduce precision.
Use natural combinations such as an increase in the ageing population, result in conflict, and tensions will rise.
Grammatical Range and Accuracy
The response attempts complex sentences, but frequent errors in agreement, articles, pronouns, verb forms, and sentence construction weaken control.
Check subject-verb agreement and pronoun consistency first, then revise long sentences into accurately controlled clauses.
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IELTS Writing Task 2
Average life span of the human in many developing countries is increasing. Is this is a positive or negative development? Will this increased life expectancy have any social and personal issue? Suggest some measures that could be taken to reduce the impact of ageing populations.
Your response
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