In the recent years, there is a trend of ‘responsible tourism’, which pays attention to both local culture and environment. However, there are still people who think that ‘responsible tourism’ is impossible to implement in reality. To what extent do you agree or disagree? Give your opinion and examples
Sample Response
All around the world, tourism is losing its glitter, due to the lack of responsibility by the government, tourists and local people. Some people consider taking responsibility in tourism by each individual is essential for the better environment, preserving cultures and improving the economy, whereas others think, this cannot be achieved in reality. In my opinion, tourism responsibility is required for better future of the world and this can be achieved with proper implementation.
People travel to different places but never show any attention or responsibility towards its improvement. To make this world a better place to live in, one should take it as one’s responsibility. First of all, the government should take a step, releasing more funds towards tourism and for providing much security. For instance, we find filthy guest houses, restrooms and no cleaning of surrounding places. People travel to enjoy the beauty of nature, but if they find this kind of dirty places, their enjoyment which lead to a bad memory. Even, local people and tourists who travel should obey the guidelines and policy of tourism for a better world.
However, there are some people who think when it comes to implementation of this; it is like a day dream which cannot come into reality. It is difficult for poor and developing countries to utilise more funds towards tourism. On the other hand, it is difficult to provide security and neatness at tourist spots unless every tourist shows attention as his responsibility. For instance, if there are sign boards which shows ‘please use right direction, danger at left direction’, they use only left and if there are any dustbins with ‘please use me’, they do not use them at all. Thus it is very difficult to make it into reality.
In conclusion, better tourism can be achieved only if every individual takes the responsibility towards tourism. One should think, how much one is contributing, instead of just arguing and blaming the government. But the government should take the first step in achieving this. With this, not only it increases blissfulness of tourists but also increases economy of the country.
IELTS Writing Correction
- 1. Use natural tourism phrase Original: glitter Suggested revision: appeal Why it matters: 'Losing its appeal' is the natural expression for becoming less attractive.
- 2. Correct responsibility preposition Original: by Suggested revision: among Why it matters: 'Among' is appropriate when responsibility is lacking across several groups.
- 3. Use indefinite article Original: the Suggested revision: a Why it matters: The essay refers to a general improved environment, not a previously identified one.
- 4. Use natural noun phrase Original: tourism responsibility Suggested revision: responsibility in tourism Why it matters: The prepositional phrase expresses the intended concept more naturally.
- 5. Add article and possessive Original: for better future of the world Suggested revision: for a better future for the world Why it matters: The singular count noun needs an article, and 'for' expresses who benefits.
- 6. Clarify plural reference Original: responsibility towards its improvement Suggested revision: responsibility for improving them Why it matters: The plural pronoun clearly refers to the different places, and 'responsibility for' is the correct pattern.
- 7. Use direct action phrase Original: take a step Suggested revision: take action Why it matters: 'Take action' states the government's role more directly in this context.
- 8. Use funding collocation Original: releasing more funds towards tourism Suggested revision: allocating more funds to tourism Why it matters: Governments 'allocate funds to' a sector.
- 9. Correct parallel purpose Original: for providing much security Suggested revision: providing greater security Why it matters: The coordinated gerund should be parallel with 'releasing', and 'greater' naturally modifies security.
- 10. Fix demonstrative agreement Original: this kind of dirty places Suggested revision: these kinds of dirty places Why it matters: The demonstrative and noun 'kind' must agree with the plural 'places'.
- 11. Use additive transition Original: Even, Suggested revision: In addition, Why it matters: 'Even' cannot function alone as a sentence connector here.
- 12. Use parallel plurals Original: guidelines and policy of tourism Suggested revision: tourism guidelines and policies Why it matters: The coordinated general nouns should both be plural, with 'tourism' used as a modifier.
Suggested Rewrites
- glitter appeal
- by among
- the a
- tourism responsibility responsibility in tourism
- for better future of the world for a better future for the world
- responsibility towards its improvement responsibility for improving them
Why this response received Band 6.0
The essay states a clear belief that responsible tourism is achievable and identifies shared roles for governments, residents, and visitors. Its main limitation is uneven development: examples focus on cleanliness, security, and disobeyed signs without clearly explaining how local culture and the environment would be protected. Prioritise concrete measures such as waste controls, cultural guidelines, funding, and enforcement, then show why these are realistically workable.
IELTS Writing Criteria Scores
Task Response
A clear position is maintained and implementation challenges are considered, but support only partially addresses cultural preservation and environmental responsibility.
Develop one realistic policy for protecting the environment and one for respecting local culture, supported by a credible tourism example.
Coherence and Cohesion
The four-paragraph structure moves logically from the position to possible action, obstacles, and conclusion, though some internal links are unclear.
Give each body paragraph one controlling purpose and connect every example explicitly to feasibility or responsible-tourism outcomes.
Lexical Resource
There is enough vocabulary to discuss tourism, responsibility, funding, and cleanliness, but frequent awkward or inaccurate expressions reduce precision.
Use natural phrases such as 'lost its appeal', 'allocate funds', 'maintain tourist sites', 'follow guidelines', and 'improve visitors' experience'.
Grammatical Range and Accuracy
Complex ideas are attempted, but frequent errors in clauses, agreement, articles, punctuation, and sentence construction weaken control.
Revise incomplete structures and check agreement, especially sentences about dirty facilities, signboards, shared responsibility, and economic benefits.
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IELTS Writing Task 2
In the recent years, there is a trend of ‘responsible tourism’, which pays attention to both local culture and environment. However, there are still people who think that ‘responsible tourism’ is impossible to implement in reality. To what extent do you agree or disagree? Give your opinion and examples
Your response
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