In the recent years, there is a trend of ‘responsible tourism’, which pays attention to both local culture and environment. However, there are still people who think that ‘responsible tourism’ is impossible to implement in reality. To what extent do you agree or disagree? Give your opinion and examples
Sample Response
Tourism is a unique human activity, experienced by millions of people worldwide every year. As people differ in their attitude towards almost everything in life, the same applies also to tourism; where some treat tourism globally as the focus of their act without scrutinising the other related activities pertaining to it. Hence, the term 'responsible tourism" emerged; in order to pay a sufficient attention of the tourist to the local cultural values of the destination country, and – more globally – to the environment. From my point of view, tourism must be labelled as a "responsible activity"; even if it is mandatory to issue as many local and international legislations to make it so.
While making tourism, should the tourist carry his culture with him to the foreign country? Obviously, the answer is "No". If the tourist insists on doing this, he will sure subject himself to great dangers especially in communities with intolerant local citizens. One of the best examples of this is the "Thump Up" sign which is greatly practised in many countries; where this sign is USA means "OK or very good"; while it is considered as very crude and impolite in Greece (which is a famous touristic destination). Thus, it is crucial to teach the tourists a list of common practices that they must refrain from doing, explaining the reasons behind this.
When it comes to the environment, it is indeed very unfortunate to find that the touristic areas are those with the greatest pollution and litter output! A few years ago, it was really surprising that an international campaign of volunteers aimed to clean the Himalayas from the trash left by the climbers.
In conclusion, tourism should be dealt with in the same way as freedom; that it must be "responsible", respecting both the local cultural and environmental values of each society.
IELTS Writing Correction
- 1. Use natural verb Original: labelled as a Suggested revision: treated as a Why it matters: Tourism is more naturally described as being treated as an activity than labelled as one.
- 2. Clarify reference Original: even if it is mandatory Suggested revision: even if this requires Why it matters: ‘This’ clearly refers to making tourism responsible, while the original impersonal clause is awkward.
- 3. Use uncountable legislation Original: as many local and international legislations Suggested revision: extensive local and international legislation Why it matters: ‘Legislation’ is uncountable in this general sense and cannot take ‘many’.
- 4. Fix travel collocation Original: While making tourism Suggested revision: When travelling Why it matters: English uses ‘travel’ rather than ‘make tourism’ for a tourist's activity.
- 5. Use inclusive clear reference Original: carry his culture with him to the foreign country Suggested revision: bring their own culture to a foreign country Why it matters: The revision avoids unnecessary repetition and uses a consistent gender-neutral pronoun.
- 6. Use adverb correctly Original: he will sure subject himself Suggested revision: they will surely expose themselves Why it matters: The verb requires the adverb ‘surely’, and ‘expose themselves’ is the natural construction with danger.
- 7. Correct gesture name Original: Thump Up Suggested revision: thumbs-up Why it matters: The conventional name of this gesture is ‘thumbs-up’.
- 8. Use natural collocation Original: greatly practised Suggested revision: widely used Why it matters: A gesture is ‘widely used’ rather than ‘greatly practised’.
- 9. Repair clause structure Original: many countries; where this sign is USA means Suggested revision: many countries: in the USA, this sign means Why it matters: The revision fixes the preposition, word order, and incorrect semicolon-relative-clause combination.
- 10. Remove wrong preposition Original: considered as very crude Suggested revision: considered very crude Why it matters: ‘Considered’ links directly to the adjective complement without ‘as’.
- 11. Use tourist adjective Original: famous touristic destination Suggested revision: famous tourist destination Why it matters: ‘Tourist destination’ is the standard expression for a place visited by travellers.
- 12. Use general plural Original: teach the tourists Suggested revision: teach tourists Why it matters: The general reference to tourists does not require the definite article.
Suggested Rewrites
- labelled as a treated as a
- even if it is mandatory even if this requires
- as many local and international legislations extensive local and international legislation
- While making tourism When travelling
- carry his culture with him to the foreign country bring their own culture to a foreign country
- he will sure subject himself they will surely expose themselves
Why this response received Band 6.0
The response’s strongest feature is its concrete illustration of cultural and environmental responsibility through examples involving gestures and Himalayan litter. Its main limitation is task focus: it argues that tourism should be responsible but does not directly explain why responsible tourism is realistically implementable or engage with the claim that it is impossible. The highest priority is to make that disagreement explicit and develop practical mechanisms showing how responsible behaviour could be achieved.
IELTS Writing Criteria Scores
Detailed feedback by IELTS writing criterion after the annotated essay.
Task Response
A consistent view and relevant cultural and environmental examples are provided, but the central question of practical implementability is only indirectly addressed.
Directly refute the impossibility claim by explaining how education, regulation, or enforcement could make responsible tourism workable in practice.
Coherence and Cohesion
The essay follows a clear introduction–culture–environment–conclusion sequence, although the environmental discussion is brief and some links are awkward.
Balance the two body sections by fully explaining the environmental example and connect each paragraph explicitly to the feasibility argument.
Lexical Resource
The response attempts a useful range of topic-specific and less common vocabulary, but frequent collocational inaccuracies reduce precision and naturalness.
Use standard expressions such as ‘engage in tourism’, ‘tourist destinations’, ‘pay attention to’, and ‘pass legislation’.
Grammatical Range and Accuracy
Both simple and complex structures are attempted, but recurring article, preposition, punctuation, and clause-construction errors remain noticeable.
Prioritise complete sentence boundaries and check articles and prepositions in longer sentences before using semicolons or embedded clauses.
Write this task while it is fresh
Try the same task now. It helps you remember the feedback and write better next time.
IELTS Writing Task 2
In the recent years, there is a trend of ‘responsible tourism’, which pays attention to both local culture and environment. However, there are still people who think that ‘responsible tourism’ is impossible to implement in reality. To what extent do you agree or disagree? Give your opinion and examples
Your response
Write the task yourself, then compare your choices with the annotated response.