You have decided to give several hours of your time each month to improve the community where you live. What is one thing you will do to improve your community? Why? Use specific reasons and details to explain your choice.
This response is estimated at Band 6.5. Can you write a better one?
Write yours and get clear feedback on all four criteria.
- Closest to official scores
- What to fix on each criterion
- Feedback in about 20 seconds · free
Sample Response
A community brings people from diverse cultural and economic backgroundsa diverse culture and economic background together. In my community, many predicaments persist such as illiteracy, health problems, and environmental issues. However, I feel that an ever-increasing gap between rich and poor is the most seriousis most tragic and this can only be curbed by providingensuring education for all. Therefore, if I haveget free time to serve my community, I will educate poor and lower-middle class children. A problem at home affects the whole family. A sheer number of problems in a community also affect people belong to this! Though common problems are being addressed by the authoritiesauthority and their efforts are commendableappreciable, nothing has been done to reduce the social gap in my community. In reality, the rich areIn reality, rich are amassing wealth while the poor are becoming poorerwhile poor are becoming poorer. I would like to spend 12-15 hours a month to educate less privileged children to help ensure their educationto contribute to ensuring their education so that someday they can change their fate. I came from a middle-class family and my parents worked really hard to ensure that I received an educationsecure my education. The opportunity I receivedThe chance I got made me realise that education can changerealise it can change our community and our life. I think the initiative will bring families together and encourage others to help deprived children. In India, the literacy rate is not satisfactory and most poor people aremost poor are illiterate. They do not send their childrenoffsprings to schoolschools, while children from rich families study in the best schoolsschool in town. Thus, the gap between rich and poor is increasing generation after generation and only education can reverse this trendthe only education can change the wind. In conclusion, social gaps can only be narrowedabridged by education. Hence, I will spend my free timetimes to educate children in my beloved community.
Why this response received Band 6.5
The response directly identifies a practical contribution and develops persuasive reasons through social context, personal experience, and expected community benefits. The main weakness is that its ideas are presented as one continuous block and are sometimes expressed through awkward grammar or overly ambitious vocabulary; the highest-priority improvement is to build clearly separated paragraphs around a focused reason and refine language for natural accuracy.
IELTS Writing Criteria Scores
Task Response
The proposed action is explicit, and the reasons are relevant, varied, and generally well developed with specific detail.
Remove the brief general digressions and connect every supporting detail more directly to the proposed teaching initiative.
Coherence and Cohesion
Ideas progress logically and linking is generally effective, though absent paragraphing and a few abrupt transitions weaken the structure.
Organise the response into an introduction, distinct reason paragraphs, and a conclusion, with a clear topic sentence for each.
Lexical Resource
Vocabulary is varied and often effective, but several ambitious choices and word forms sound unnatural or inaccurate.
Prefer natural collocations and correct forms, replacing expressions such as change the wind, offsprings, and free times.
Grammatical Range and Accuracy
A range of complex sentences is used successfully, although recurring errors with articles, plurals, agreement, and clause construction remain noticeable.
Edit each sentence for article use, countable nouns, subject-verb agreement, and complete relative-clause structure.