You have decided to give several hours of your time each month to improve the community where you live. What is one thing you will do to improve your community? Why? Use specific reasons and details to explain your choice.
Sample Response
Historically humans have dwelled in a community which sets them apart from the other species on earth. Communities have existed in different forms and can be the epicentre for any grown civilisation. Any community is made up of individuals who contribute towards the growth and well-being of the overall community. Since I am an integral part of my community, I equally share the ownership and duty towards my community. I have decided to spend few hours every month to contribute towards building up fitness facility in my community. I consider ‘Fitness’ as a very important aspect of an individual’s life. It doesn’t have a very high priority in our day-to-day life due to our busy work schedule and thus it always takes a back seat in terms of our daily itinerary. To quote the famous saying, “A healthy mind in a healthy body”, exercising is the best way to keep our body and mind healthy. Besides keeping us healthy, we can bring freshness into our daily routine by exercising every day. Having fitness equipment in the community just a few footsteps away can have very motivating results. People can exercise at their convenience without spending unnecessary time on the commute. Another reason to set up fitness equipment in the community is the affordability. Not every family can afford the Gyms and fitness centres. Since these commercial fitness centres charge a lot of fees, fitness at times is perceived as a luxury commodity, thus depriving the people of the best of the class equipment. But, in this world of technology, world-class equipment with the best design are available at low prices too. To give an example, Singapore government has deployed fitness equipment at every 100 meters for their Housing Development Board Units. Thus, the success of Singapore can be repeated in my society. To conclude, I consider fitness as a daily need and not a once in a blue moon activity. Having fitness in a community is the best way to push ourselves to the treadmill every day. I recommend having fitness in the community to enjoy the benefits of a healthy body.
IELTS Writing Correction
- 1. Add introductory comma Original: Historically humans Suggested revision: Historically, humans Why it matters: A comma should follow this introductory adverb.
- 2. Match number and verb Original: a community which sets them apart Suggested revision: communities, which set them apart Why it matters: The plural noun and verb agree with the plural subject "humans".
- 3. Capitalize Earth Original: earth Suggested revision: Earth Why it matters: Capitalize "Earth" when it names the planet.
- 4. Use natural collocation Original: epicentre for any grown civilisation Suggested revision: foundation of any developed civilisation Why it matters: This wording expresses the relationship between communities and civilisations more naturally.
- 5. Clarify responsibility Original: share the ownership and duty towards my community Suggested revision: share responsibility for my community Why it matters: The revised phrase uses a more natural collocation for civic responsibility.
- 6. Add article Original: spend few hours Suggested revision: spend a few hours Why it matters: The countable phrase "few hours" needs the article "a" here.
- 7. Fix article and phrase Original: towards building up fitness facility Suggested revision: to building a fitness facility Why it matters: This supplies the missing article and completes the construction after "contribute".
- 8. Remove unnecessary styling Original: ‘Fitness’ Suggested revision: fitness Why it matters: The common noun does not need quotation marks or a capital letter.
- 9. Use concise wording Original: doesn’t have a very high priority Suggested revision: is not a high priority Why it matters: The revision states the same idea more directly and naturally.
- 10. Use plural schedules Original: schedule Suggested revision: schedules Why it matters: The plural possessive "our" refers naturally to multiple people's schedules.
- 11. Choose natural noun Original: itinerary Suggested revision: routine Why it matters: "Routine" is the natural word for repeated everyday activities.
- 12. Improve collocation Original: bring freshness into our daily routine Suggested revision: add variety to our daily routine Why it matters: "Add variety" is a more idiomatic way to describe refreshing a routine.
Suggested Rewrites
- Historically humans Historically, humans
- a community which sets them apart communities, which set them apart
- earth Earth
- epicentre for any grown civilisation foundation of any developed civilisation
- share the ownership and duty towards my community share responsibility for my community
- spend few hours spend a few hours
Why this response received Band 6.5
The response gives a clear, relevant proposal and supports it with several connected reasons, particularly accessibility, affordability, and health benefits. Its main limitation is that the ideas are presented as one long block and sometimes become repetitive or awkwardly expressed. The highest-priority improvement is to organise the argument into purposeful paragraphs while explaining more concretely how the writer would help establish the facility.
IELTS Writing Criteria Scores
Task Response
The chosen community fitness facility directly answers both questions and is supported with several relevant reasons and an example.
Explain the writer's specific contribution to creating the facility so the proposed action is as fully developed as its benefits.
Coherence and Cohesion
Ideas progress logically from health to convenience and affordability, but the entire response is presented as one long paragraph.
Divide the response into a concise introduction, focused body paragraphs, and a conclusion, with each paragraph developing one main reason.
Lexical Resource
The response uses a good range of topic vocabulary, though repetition of fitness and several awkward collocations reduce precision.
Use more natural combinations such as community gym, affordable access, and exercise facilities while avoiding unnecessary repetition and capitalization.
Grammatical Range and Accuracy
A range of complex structures communicates the argument clearly, despite recurring article, agreement, and noun-form errors.
Check countable nouns and subject-verb agreement, especially in phrases such as a few hours, a fitness facility, and equipment is available.
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IELTS Writing Task 2
You have decided to give several hours of your time each month to improve the community where you live. What is one thing you will do to improve your community? Why? Use specific reasons and details to explain your choice.
Your response
Write the task yourself, then compare your choices with the annotated response.